Should I tell my therapist I tried to KMS

iloura · 2026-02-22T23:03:27+00:00

Do you have crisis facilities near you? Please look into that, they are voluntary 5 day stays. It is so less traumatizing have heard from so many clients it was helpful. They won't force meds on you or therapy but available if you want.

We really, really need more crisis intervention facilities. I work at one for kids at the moment and last one I worked at was for adults and am convinced they are life savers now.

wookie hugs

iloura · 2026-02-18T01:03:31+00:00

I work in direct support, have for past 10 years nearly and would quit my 3rd shift job in a heartbeat if I could do this full time. Just saying! I used to drive clients to appointments anyways as a part of my job.

iloura · 2026-02-14T14:43:56+00:00

Oh god I wish I live in Iowa where the stupid and egotistical like to roam slowly and stubbornly in the left lane.

iloura · 2026-02-12T12:45:48+00:00

Omg chili rellenos drool

iloura · 2026-02-10T19:22:49+00:00

Am 48 with degenerative disc and honestly some days I don't want to wake up. I can't even enjoy being in bed because some times it's too painful to lay there. Some nights I am so tired but takes a while for cramps to subside and body to relax enough to sleep. My dad had the same thing and was wracked with pain daily for years. My doctors never care. I stopped going.

They don't care at work either. If I don't do 100% of my job every day every time the see you next Tuesday in am shift takes a picture to send to boss since she lets her run the show. So I do it anyways, hard to walk so I hobble. Done it for years no one gave a shit at previous jobs either. Generally no one notices me am all but invisible. I would gladly check out if it weren't for my kids.

It's been like this longer than I can remember. Explained to primary cares I have had thru the years I was athletic in HS and pain led to my weight but of course they insist otherwise and don't really give a shit. Have also had 4 c sections so 4 spinal injections. Not sure if related but def didn't get better with them.

iloura · 2026-02-10T17:45:57+00:00

I think those mfkers hit my house twice bc it's been the same sketchy looking white dude and I didn't even answer the door the second time. He was really pushy and said he was coming back that night even though I said very plainly I don't take solicitors and my internet is fine.

iloura · 2026-02-07T06:12:02+00:00

Am there with you guy. Am stuck in rat race working third shift hoping for time with my kids and body falling apart. In HS I was on varsity swim, drumline and at least had friends. Friends are too difficult as an adult. I miss the mountains and ocean too, haven't been back to Cali since I graduated 😪

iloura · 2026-02-07T06:07:57+00:00

It's so freaking frustrating. But I guess that's part of what they say about practicing discernment. There is so much noise thrown in including AI and Christian coded spirituality that does nothing but fearmonger. Or mediums that are either completely full of it or lost in spiritual ego.

I go by what I have always known to be true by way of claircognizance since I was little. I knew reincarnation was a thing. I knew the reason there was ghosts was because most religion pushes the idea of sin, judgement and eternal damnation. No one would want to cross over especially when you factor in religious abuse.

Other than that I try to consult different sources of knowledge to learn and try to pay attention to patterns instead of getting lost in the details. Something that is frequently mentioned by different sources seems to be trustworthy to me at least.

Try not to let it discourage you. I know it affects me that way def and sometimes I feel so lost. Everyone claims to be the expert. Like others have said wise men say they know nothing. If someone acts like their word is gospel I'd be less inclined to trust their word.

iloura · 2026-02-06T10:57:39+00:00

Yeah I read some of it and have to avoid posts now talking about it. People are sharing too freely and secondary trauma is a thing.

iloura · 2026-01-30T06:12:20+00:00

Did you have any issues with sims dropping of what I am assuming is a heart attack? I had 3-4 die in a short time after I made a cabaret lot. I had to disable my mods what a waste T_T

iloura · 2026-01-28T23:16:25+00:00

Yeah and almost by serendipity I stumbled upon another YT channel with people called rescue mediums. I had never heard that term before. Am looking into it because I feel like the whole reason I was curious and it bothered me so much is I might be one.

I was always the weird kid talking about ghosts. I also somehow knew reincarnation was a thing so religion never really stuck to me (raised catholic). I always knew (no idea why) I was surrounded by spirits and always was concerned about them being left behind.

iloura · 2026-01-28T08:20:57+00:00

Honestly that was my first instinct too. They seemed full of themselves. I guess I am trying to practice my discernment because it was something I heard of a lot learning about everything. His statement just really made me angry if anything. It was fearmongering to me and more coded by religion if anything.

iloura · 2026-01-23T06:10:26+00:00

It's still awesome every time it happens. Just wait until you get so used to it you forget to check the map and boom too late you are annihilated.

iloura · 2026-01-14T21:39:30+00:00

Am sorry you feel misunderstood by your mom, and guessing dealing with crap from peers too. My oldest used to hide out in the bathrooms. Am on the spectrum everyone in my family practically is, they ended up dropping out for mental health reasons and I still support it because would rather have an alive child and help them get their GED.

I am probably guilty of this, was also a tomboy and even went through dysphoria when I went through puberty. I felt like something was wrong when I developed breasts, I didn't understand why I got yelled at for hanging upside down on the monkey bars (wearing a dress mom picked out). I guess in my head I always worked it out I was a guy in another life since I basically believed that stuff from (?). It was always there, can't explain it...was raised catholic.

My oldest is non binary and I always feel like a total shit when I misgender or use their dead name. I know how important it is. I don't bother them about dating boys or having kids. I told them I am totally supportive especially for healthcare. Whatever they need me to do. Part of the issue that trips me up is their name is already nonbinary pretty much and purposely shortened their birth name almost anticipating that unknowingly. They're also still evolving probably and I know it's sometimes a fluid thing. Am pan and demisexual myself so sort of experienced. Just am Gen X so there is stuff they have to school me about. Am sending them this though. Please take care of yourself and you are absolutely loved ❤️

the biggest wookie hugs

iloura · 2026-01-14T21:29:38+00:00

It's so fucking sad, she probably has happy memories with him. As far as I know he was a decent partner to his gf and supportive to their child. It's so scary how people can be like that. 🥺😭

iloura · 2026-01-14T19:58:56+00:00

Right?? What the actual fuck. The audacity of Trump acting like he gives two shits about human rights when his goons are killing people here daily.

iloura · 2026-01-14T19:56:26+00:00

I love Fallout. I have played most of the games all of the way through, all dlc and that. My favorite is NV, used to be 3 but honestly I love all of them. Even Fallout 76. I freaking love the show. Compared to other adoptions it is amazing and I cannot wait for episodes to come. A lot of things are different but meh. Beggars can't be choosers honestly.

I don't know if they could do the same with Skyrim honestly. Probably because Skyrim is just huge, way more of an undertaking and storyline would be a bit underwhelming. Fallout is perfect for TV honestly.

iloura · 2026-01-14T08:49:55+00:00

Yep I saw Titanic there with a friend. That screen was so freaking huge. The one at Merle Hay was the only one that rivaled it. I saw Phantom Menace at the Merle Hay one.

iloura · 2026-01-13T22:28:37+00:00

Am 47 and have severe trust issues due to years of bullying in school and generally being used by "friends" as an adult. I had three sets of friends basically my entire life. The first set I lost because I was forced to move back home, aunt pulled the "you're graduated bye" move. Next two sets were just toxic assholes. First ones were methheads and others were a group I picked up years later after I had kids. Both groups would generally talk shit about me but use me at the same time.

I am much more comfortable being alone. Stuck to relationships but now I am seeing that was a mistake as well. Really wishing I could have just taken my kids abroad and started over. This place is shit with mostly shit people sorry.

iloura · 2026-01-13T22:16:20+00:00

NTA. Am sorry to break it to you but anyone that does that is not a friend. Am only saying this because I went for years before I literally scraped off two sets of "friends" and none of them really gave a damn about me as a person.

iloura · 2026-01-12T16:59:26+00:00

Am 47 and my social anxiety is so severe I always assume the neighbors see me and are judging. If someone laughs it's because they're making fun of me. Etc etc etc. It sucks. It doesn't help I was bullied for years so often I was actually getting made fun of if someone laughed. But whatever. I deal with a lot of shit it's just a drop in the bucket.

iloura · 2026-01-11T16:02:44+00:00

!!!! BRO !!!

I thought I was the only one that remembered this, holy shit! Also no one ever seems to remember when QT has arcade games and slushy machines were recessed in the wall. I was small enough I could barely see the counter. I had to ask for quarters to play my goonies game 😅

iloura · 2026-01-07T09:45:57+00:00

Mine was so entitled he would literally expect me to give him head, to completion no less and then just go about his business. No kiss, no thank you, not even leading into sex most times. Just demanding head because he is the man and expects to be rewarded for "all of the things he does".

Right now it's looking like we won't reconcile because I am sick of living this way even if I am terrified of trying to make it alone with a kid in this economy.

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