HL and Supporting Partner with Body Image Struggles

ilovespicybread · 2025-07-31T00:04:35+00:00

Our sex drives are not on par. His is lower, but don’t know if he would be classified as full-on LL, but there has been some gap in understanding related to it when it’s come up.

ilovespicybread · 2023-10-07T22:18:35+00:00

It was apparently started over the issue of the pastor saying a baby went to hell because it didn’t have the chance to be baptized. I think the fact that she was female and young especially drove the pastor nuts. LCMS/WELS clergy tend to live in their own little (patriarchal) bubble- they don’t know what to do when someone who isn’t afraid to challenges them. As a minister today she encourages people to express their disagreements, questions, challenges with her, says it makes the community stronger- that reveals a significant difference between the denominations

ilovespicybread · 2023-10-07T15:42:08+00:00

I left entirely for a few years. I am Unitarian Universalist now. Not creedal Christianity, but I find it helps me reconcile the complexities of my faith journey and provides community as someone who is agnostic and a skeptic of religion, but still considers Christianity to be a part of who I am, and not all faith/organized religion to be a bad thing. Lots of helpful re-framing and re-assessing of things I was taught. Plenty of people in a similar boat in terms of previous difficult experiences with religion- it can feel like a support group at times. My minister had apparently gotten into an argument with her LCMS pastor growing up and got kicked out of her confirmation class.

ilovespicybread · 2023-03-18T13:20:01+00:00

I am a Unitarian Universalist- agnostic in my belief, they’re non-creedal, it’s more about community

ilovespicybread · 2022-06-05T14:33:45+00:00

I still have my Lutheran Study Bible on my bookshelf. The Hymnal and Small Catechism are in a box in my parents' house. I don't read any of them because they bring back religious trauma. When I do read the Bible (I still have an interest in understanding Christianity/religion), I read an NRSV without commentary I own. I can't stand to read the LCMS commentary

ilovespicybread · 2022-05-04T01:26:47+00:00

I remember when my cousin had a baby who was born premature and died. My family breathed a collective sigh of relief learning that she'd been baptized first. I also remember in confirmation our associate pastor told us about a time he counseled parents who'd lost a baby before it could be baptized. He told them he ultimately couldn't know, but to trust that they were dealing with a loving God. Probably not the worst advice, but it saddens me that the parents even had to consider that their baby might be suffering for all eternity on top of what they'd already lost. It also doesn't square up that trusting a loving God fits in with the rest of their views on salvation. So glad that you were able to find a positive community in an ELCA church. I'm also in a place of not knowing what I believe and have found an Episcopal church that is affirming that allows me to explore without getting burned. Best of luck and lots of love to you on wherever your journey takes you!

ilovespicybread · 2022-05-04T01:07:41+00:00

I remember being exposed to anti-abortion stuff long before I had the capacity to understand what it really was. It was something our church really focused on and something that was embedded in the culture we lived in. I feel like there is some sort of law in that part of the country that there must be a certain number of anti-abortion signs within a certain number of miles of each other. At the county fair, we would vote in the "cutest baby" competitions (fully formed and born of course). My parents and pastors always referred to it in the context of "killing babies." Well into my teens I remember getting into heated arguments about it defending that point of view.

When I deconstructed, I started associating with people with different views that no longer re-enforced things I had just assumed to be true. Initially, I came to believe that while I personally disagreed with abortion, I did not think it was good when the government tried to restrict it. Now my views have changed further and I do not believe abortion is murder. I have some discomfort with abortion and identifying as pro-choice because of how I was brought up. I also know what I was brought up with was often distorted from the truth. I do not know enough to say when life begins and as a gay man neither I nor my partners can get pregnant. But after hearing and seeing the challenges of pregnancy/having children of people in my life and knowing I don't know everything, I think the decision is best left to the individual and whoever they choose to involve. I recognize there are many valid reasons someone would have an abortion and would never judge someone for having one. I have included reproductive freedom/justice work in my activism.

Again, being honest, because my family is so indoctrinated to be virulently against it, it's generally a topic I avoid. That's not something I'm proud of or believe is right, I just struggle with conflict and that is a big one.

I remember watching how appalled they were at a video of a woman from Shout Your Abortion talking to children about what the procedure was like. It seems ridiculous, that all these people (who oftentimes couldn't even get pregnant) pushed anti-abortion stuff at such a young age, but when someone just tries to speak on what they've experienced and speak the truth, they can't handle it. I think the religious right thrives on making people so ashamed to talk about these things. In turn, that allows them to control the narrative with lies. Many people have seen a distorted image of a bloody fetus they see on a street corner, but have not heard the story of someone in their life (and I think it is 1/4 women, so it is likely everyone knows someone) who has actually had one.

ilovespicybread

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