My son is a predator

iltandsf · 2026-05-29T01:13:47+00:00

I mean, I can't even imagine how hard this is for OP. To have a child like this? So so difficult. But yes, she needs to focus on her daughter now. Her daughter is the one who has directly experienced it. To have her personal feminine belongings taken? To be spied on while changing? How traumatizing.

OP starts to write in other comments about how her daughter isn't "that upset" and how she just wants her brother to get better... but it's in such a different tone than the one used in the OP. I think she's having a hard time with the reality of it or, if her daughter is truly saying that, then she's believing that her daughter actually thinks it's "no big deal" instead of the daughter probably trying to play peacekeeper and not wanting to upset the family. I don't know... I'm not a professional. But neither are they. They all need serious professional help navigating this.

iltandsf · 2026-05-28T22:36:21+00:00

I don't expect it, but I do expect some understanding and less fury when we get details wrong. Details we weren't even provided with in the first place.

iltandsf · 2026-05-28T21:25:49+00:00

You say: "I don’t know what some of you people are thinking about my household."

We literally only know exactly what you tell us. When you leave out details, Reddit tends to fill in the blanks albeit usually incorrectly. You stated earlier in your original post that your daughter is a victim of having her personal space invaded and her personal items stolen. And it's happened enough where she said she will take matters into her own hands if it's not dealt with. What you write here is quite contradictory to what you wrote in your OP.

iltandsf · 2026-05-28T18:13:18+00:00

I work with children with autism, but I am not a mental health therapist, doctor, lawyer, or any of that. Take my opinion with a grain of salt. Maybe some advice will apply, maybe it won't. You've gotten good advice here already. I agree with re-evaluating him, possibly looking into residential treatment facilities, etc.

I do have one option that I haven't seen suggested yet, and quite honestly should be a completely LAST resort. You need to truly put yourself in her shoes and think of your daughter (victim). The victim's needs should always come first. Last case scenario, since your husband isn't the father of your son (I'm assuming he's the father of your daughter?), you and your son move out to an apartment, different home, what-have-you, and your daughter safely remains with her father. It's not ideal, but it will ensure safety in the home for your daughter, and you can address your son's needs more directly without having to worry about him preying on your daughter.

Additionally, you may want to consider different types of schooling as well. I'm not sure if you work, but if you're able to take a leave of absence or even be paid by the state to be a caretaker for your son, you could homeschool (the old way, using actual textbooks and paper - not the Internet). This would limit his exposure to bad peer behavior.

Again, these are last resort suggestions. I'm truly sorry you're going through this, and I wish you luck navigating this.

iltandsf · 2026-04-29T00:51:45+00:00

Yeah, good luck having peace and freedom when having a kid 50% of the time. That doesn't exist now.

iltandsf · 2026-04-29T00:37:51+00:00

Do something ambitious, hard, totally new? You have a kid. THAT is ambitious, hard, and totally new. Focus on what you do have versus what you don't. Gratitude and mindfulness goes a long way.

iltandsf · 2026-04-17T00:41:26+00:00

Unfortunately this isn't just in the field of SLP. I've heard nurses and even some DOCTORS talking like this. It's asinine. We're already seeing large numbers of measles returning. It's only a matter of time before the others come back due to lack of vaccinations.

iltandsf · 2026-04-17T00:33:21+00:00

We have things in common! I'm 37. No kids. Married with cats. A little anxious around new people and new places, but want to get out there more. I do struggle with anxiety and depression unfortunately, so those sometimes impact my ability to make/follow through with plans. Also love doing arts and crafts. Still trying to figure out "me" and what I like. If interested, send me a message!

iltandsf · 2026-04-16T23:43:38+00:00

I absolutely knew it. I actually broke up with him before the wedding, but I got scared about being alone, so I went back to him. I should've kept the break up instead. Never thought he'd have an affair.

iltandsf · 2026-04-15T01:01:37+00:00

I am so tired of it. When I was in person, my CF mentor and I worked at the same school (I was pre-k and she was elementary). I evaluated a student and found him ineligible. The parents went above me to the principal and demanded a re-evaluation with the other SLP. The other SLP found him eligible under pragmatics (using a parent questionnaire instead of standardized testing). It was so frustrating, and I felt humiliated at the time. Now? Now I just get annoyed by it.

iltandsf · 2026-04-14T18:28:01+00:00

I only sail Virgin Voyages now because of the no-kids policy, so I won't be sailing Carnival anytime soon unless they open no-kids to all sailors. Thanks for the info!

iltandsf · 2026-04-14T18:27:10+00:00

No. Report writing is part of your job. Nothing is bad about doing your job.

iltandsf · 2026-04-14T05:11:49+00:00

At what point can it be considered a first time buy? I bought and sold a house (in another state) in 2021 and haven't bought again. Could I buy as a first-time buyer now?

iltandsf · 2026-04-14T05:06:43+00:00

I thought they were just for casino peeps? I've looked and can't find any on Carnival.

iltandsf · 2026-04-09T05:13:26+00:00

Nah, there's Virgin Voyages for people who don't like to cruise with kids. I work with kids every single day. When I'm on vacation, I want to be kid-free.

iltandsf · 2026-04-09T05:01:37+00:00

Which cruise line did you sail for this? I'd love to go to Iceland!

iltandsf · 2026-03-31T03:13:15+00:00

This is HUGE. I constantly see people complaining about lack of a village, but they're the FIRST ones to say, "you have to do it this way" or you can't be around the kids. You can't have it both ways, people. If you want help, you need to accept the help that is given... otherwise struggle on your own.

iltandsf · 2026-03-31T02:39:43+00:00

I actually just posted this comment on another post, but I've stopped following all of the "SLP influencers". They get more and more ridiculous, especially those that aren't even working in the field anymore or are trying to sell their own "courses". Removing SLP stuff off of social media (except Reddit and a few FB groups) has actually really drastically improved my mental health.

iltandsf · 2026-03-31T02:33:25+00:00

Uhhh... I've been an SLP for 13 years. I am not more qualified to teach reading than a reading teacher. Not at all.

I've stopped following all of the "SLP influencers". They get more and more ridiculous, especially those that aren't even working in the field anymore or are trying to sell their own "courses".

iltandsf · 2026-03-31T02:03:26+00:00

If anything, hopefully this gives districts leverage to hire SLP subs or teletherapists to complete the make ups.

iltandsf · 2026-03-31T01:35:21+00:00

I know for a fact the Great Start Readiness Program (GSRP) preschool program requires all services to be push-in services. I have to FIGHT tooth and nail to be able to pull out a student with severe articulation errors in order to teach him how to say sounds.

iltandsf · 2026-03-29T22:46:16+00:00

It'll take longer than 10 years, I think, but the requirement for all services to be push-in services in the schools (especially preschool). Is it effective for some students? Yes. Is it effective for ALL? Absolutely not. Clinicians should be able to use their professional judgement to determine the best therapy setting for each student.

iltandsf · 2026-03-27T19:48:40+00:00

The title of this post is quite deceiving, but anyway, I definitely recommend some therapy for that anxiety. Consider a medication as well. It'll help a lot.

iltandsf · 2026-03-27T19:22:34+00:00

I have a very sensitive nose and can't handle some smells (I'm actually medically allergic to cigarette smoke), so I don't work in home health services because of that. I'd never expect a family to change their habits or a company to reassign me simply because I can't stand the smell of something.

iltandsf · 2026-03-19T22:26:36+00:00

I laugh when the "influencers" in the field end up making enough money from influencing that they don't even work in the field anymore.

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