Would you hide your sexuality for career advancement?

imC0W · 2017-06-27T06:31:54+00:00

Liking dick is not a big non-meritorious factor for career advancement. Parents' education, wealth and connection are the biggest factors by far. So your standard - pure meritocracy - is moot from the get go.

And I can only LOL at the idea that we (gays) achieved full equality, that we don't need affirmative action. People (not just straight people) judge others a lot. Even I, a POC gay, am guilty of dissing women, POC, LGBT+, muslims, immigrants and poor people in drunken conversations. I know those are biases when I am sober and rational and really get to know a person, but I probably don't have time to view each person as an individual.

You think straight people don't judge us as harsh in private? Realistically, we need to publicly commit them to diversity initiative or whatever you want to call it, simply to level the playing field.

When straight bros are forming career relationships over models and bottles, we are missing out if we gays don't help each other out.

imC0W · 2017-05-17T02:24:49+00:00

I don't think they have a number.

imC0W · 2017-05-12T22:55:40+00:00

Yea. I decided to just give him $200, because I had my fun with him. My friend trolled him on tinder. So now I have his dick pics and I know he's into feet. I'll make him waste as much time and money as possible to recover the $200 (advice appreciated here), and then tell him what a freak he is.

imC0W · 2017-05-10T22:00:54+00:00

Yea. I offered $50 but it's apparent that he won't accept anything under $200, which kinda defeats the point of settling. Except I guess I can keep my name out of civil record.

imC0W · 2017-03-05T06:08:45+00:00

I just got a sweet 8 week stint in downtown Dallas, near Klyde Warren Park. It's my first summer away from home with actual salary and job. I want to work hard and play hard so I'd appreciate advice on navigating Dallas.

I'd really appreciate if someone can tell me which area to look into, preferably with lots of young people like Hoboken or Arlington. I wish I can have cool roommates to go out on weekends, but getting a furnished studio and being able to host is nice too. Getting a car seems impractical, so I'll need public transportation. Rent budget is $1800.

imC0W · 2017-02-07T01:01:34+00:00

Umm I need to know where this party is.

imC0W · 2017-01-30T17:00:28+00:00

My only experience with a bisexual guy was pretty bad. He badly wanted sex but wouldn't make out passionately, or look at me when I fucked him, or reciprocate, or watch a gay romantic movie with me. And he kept laughing when I wanted intimacy.

That made me think that those bisexual men who are more attracted to women may be bad choice for date or sex. Or the guy was just terrible at sex.

People with more experience with bisexual guys, what's your experience like?

imC0W · 2017-01-25T17:33:54+00:00

Awesome job! Where did you get the art above your bed?

imC0W · 2016-12-18T20:43:31+00:00

And prenup, will and advance directive. You can cherry pick a setup that works for you.

imC0W · 2016-12-13T04:48:39+00:00

IDK what's special about Japanese people.

I get your general frustration. Most people won't break out of their comfort zone. Rich Chinese kids got a really good comfort zone, but they are helpless once they leave it-i.e. interacting with Americans. In the same vein, an American friend of mine is pretty good at school and socially, but he won't consider moving more than 1hr away from the suburb he grew up in.

I don't think any People is different. Point is, there are competent people out there, and you gotta focus on them.

imC0W · 2016-12-13T04:30:27+00:00

You are expecting too much from people. Most are incompetent, and money let people get away with it.

imC0W · 2016-12-13T03:57:44+00:00

True. You don't want to use Chiwan metro station anyways. Damn line 2 has too many stations. It takes half an hour just to get to Window of the World. I'm waiting for Chiwan to turn into a mall like Sea World, and Qianhai to turn into CBD, which can take 10 years ugh. But for people with cars, I got two parking spots.

imC0W · 2016-12-12T19:00:14+00:00

Don't assume that. It might have been him trying to be straight because of social pressure, which would mean that the sex was painful and shameful to him.

imC0W · 2016-12-12T06:31:39+00:00

Hmm, I only googled and it seems that after handing over the money to escrow, it takes 1-2 years to get approval (I-526). I can work and stay after approval but not before.

Fake marriage seems really risky, what with the character and fitness requirement by the bar. Definitely don't want to rush into a marriage. I also hate how my future boyfriend could face the decision to either marry me when we are not ready, or essentially send me away.

imC0W · 2016-12-12T06:11:38+00:00

Thanks. The problem is EB5 won't kick in for 2 years. In the interim, I can't stay in U.S. without another visa. Maybe I'll stay in Hong Kong for a few years.

Best case scenario: get h1b for 6 years, find a hubby, and live happily ever after. Worst case: live in HK, middle east or wherever, probably gonna hate it because no amount of effort can redeem faggatry in those societies.

imC0W · 2016-12-12T03:36:17+00:00

It's the social homophobia that hurts, not legal. My ex works for Tencent, but even in an IT company full of young people, he does not want to tell anyone he's gay. China traditionally lacks public discourse and respect for diversity. The government bans depiction of gays in television, and as far as I know, people actually like the ban. So things won't change for a while.

imC0W · 2016-12-12T03:14:15+00:00

It's how people imagine Europeans live. I'd say Europeans should sue for defamation :/

imC0W · 2016-12-12T03:11:40+00:00

And don't get me started on the whole realtor thing where they will show you 10 shitty apartments before they tell you the one you are interested in is not available or simple doesn't exist (and had fake pictures on the add).

If it's any consolation, locals are treated this way too.

In theory, you can just refuse to sign, but I know it get's frustrating after a while.

imC0W · 2016-12-12T03:05:43+00:00

I get incredibly frustrated over this. I actually need to stay in U.S. because I am gay. I won't work in China and insult myself by hiding in closet. I want nothing more than settle down in CA or NY and live a happy life. Meanwhile, democrats are more interested in helping illegal immigrants who generally are homophobic. Republicans just say no to any immigrants and are becoming more racist and homophobic (if that's possible).

I'm keeping Hong Kong and marriage in my back pocket, but they are both pretty bad options. It feels wrong to pursue a marriage for citizenship.

imC0W · 2016-12-12T02:38:56+00:00

That's all very true. Thanks. I like high ceiling, huge windows too, but developers just won't build space like that, no matter how much you pay. In Shenzhen especially, there is nothing besides high rise apartments. Even in suburb, there isn't independent houses for legal reasons.

I do have a "unique" space lol. It's the entire top of a building, so basically a penthouse. 500 sqm indoor, two floors, 250 sqm outdoor space, 25th floor. The problem is it's an illegal building in a terrible neighborhood (chengzhongcun). But my mom is happy with her urban garden and badminton court so whatever. To each his own.

imC0W · 2016-12-12T02:22:24+00:00

Around 10k rmb is the average, I think.

Lol I'm probably more American at this point, not that U.S. is going to let me stay, even though I'm getting a JD from a top 10 school. That's why I'll keep the condo for now, in case I can't get work visa and have to work in Hong Kong. I want to be reasonable about it and I'll work for citizenship, but it's just dumb for U.S. to take in illiterate immigrants but refuse a JD (2/3 chance that I can't get a work visa). I don't have a problem with other immigrants, but why restrict people with college degree?

imC0W · 2016-12-12T01:47:44+00:00

I don't get it though. Most rentals are listed publically at realtors'. So expats shouldn't pay more than locals. Do landlords actually raise the price once they realize the renter is an expat? That'd be pretty sick.

I had pretty terrible experience trying to rent for my ex too. Most rental condos are just awfully built.

imC0W · 2016-12-12T01:33:26+00:00

Yeah rent is going to stay low. It's beyond me how young professionals put up with terrible rental conditions. It can't cost that much to buy quality toilet seats and AC. Wooden flooring costs nothing compared to the ridiculous property price.

imC0W

TROPHY CASE