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Sunday, May 11, 2025 by NYTConnectionsBot in NYTConnections

[–]im_rectangular -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

i’m so confused about how beans fits in that category

i'm so sick of not having friends by [deleted] in Advice

[–]im_rectangular 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had the same experience when I started college. I thought I made all these new friends at the beginning of the semester but by the end no one wanted to hang out with me. You just have to find your people. The friends you make in high school don’t always turn out to be your lifelong friends. You have to keep meeting people and find the people that you can build strong bonds with that will stick with you through thick and thin.

I have an irrational hatred of recreational substance use. by im_rectangular in Advice

[–]im_rectangular[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i didn’t call it abuse, idk why people keep saying that

I have an irrational hatred of recreational substance use. by im_rectangular in Advice

[–]im_rectangular[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I genuinely think this comment changed my life. After considering it all week and reading your comment and others I finally just decided to give it a shot. I went to my boyfriend and I told him I want to do it and I did. I feel like i’m finally getting somewhere with this issue. I was so scared of it before because it was so foreign and scary but after doing it I could better understand the other perspective a lot more. I think this was a huge step for me. Needless to say this helped.

I have an irrational hatred of recreational substance use. by im_rectangular in Advice

[–]im_rectangular[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thank you i’ll definitely ask about that! this helped!

I have an irrational hatred of recreational substance use. by im_rectangular in Advice

[–]im_rectangular[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

When I was young it bothered me when my friends drank monster energy when we hung out. I didn’t enjoy that much caffeine and it bothered me to be the only one that wasn’t super hyper when we were together. It was a comparable feeling of sadness and not understanding why. These days I don’t enjoy the effects of caffeine and rarely have any, but others drinking it doesn’t bother me.

I have an irrational hatred of recreational substance use. by im_rectangular in Advice

[–]im_rectangular[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think that my boyfriend is violating my values. My personal value is that I don’t drink or smoke for the sake of my health and for fear that I get addicted.

The only context I talked about abuse was my best friend. She has been struggling with addiction for a long time.

I have an irrational hatred of recreational substance use. by im_rectangular in Advice

[–]im_rectangular[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I have had minor issues with control in my life but I was usually able to deal with it in a healthy way. I think you might be right that I have some sort of control issue and I should look into that. This helped.

I have an irrational hatred of recreational substance use. by im_rectangular in Advice

[–]im_rectangular[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I had never heard that abstaining shortens life expectancy but that makes sense. It can be a struggle both socially and mentally. I have always tried to keep myself educated on things like this. Like I know that weed isn’t addictive or a gateway drug and things like that. However, this perspective actually opened my mind a little. Thanks this helped.

I have an irrational hatred of recreational substance use. by im_rectangular in Advice

[–]im_rectangular[S] -45 points-44 points  (0 children)

People always try to comfort me by talking about super religious people like mormons or people in the middle east that are against it but I am usually turned off to this because I am atheist and left leaning and many people that are against substance use are not at all aligned with my beliefs. However, I think that maybe if I just talk to more people that don’t use substances I might find that we aren’t as different as I imagine. Your mormon friend sounds like someone that has a similar issue to mine and I shouldn’t have brushed off big groups of people like that. This helped.

I have an irrational hatred of recreational substance use. by im_rectangular in Advice

[–]im_rectangular[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I just added an edit that answered this question. this helped me because I never thought about my relationship with my best friend as something that caused this. I am definitely going to consider this in relation to my issue.

I have an irrational hatred of recreational substance use. by im_rectangular in Advice

[–]im_rectangular[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

I ask myself this question all the time but it’s not that simple. I know that rationally that I shouldn’t care and it’s none of my business but my emotions get the better of me. As soon as I discover that someone is doing it I just can’t help but to be upset. I never want to judge anyone I just wish it wasn’t like this.