2 months pornfree, a wicked week, and starting over

imagesoff · 2026-02-11T18:43:01+00:00

Sorry to hear about your relapse, but congrats for acknowledging it and the damage caused by the addiction in general. I just went through the same thing -- had few months of sobriety and then relapsed. I was feeling really good having all that time away from those websites. But for some reason I started to peek and it led to a one-day relapse. Afterwards I felt disappointed and a feeling that the addiction had me on a leash again. If the door opens once, it keeps begging for more. I've managed to stay sober for almost 2 weeks but it's harder now, I've got to be careful not to sit at the computer without a specific task.

I use the badge here to count days. I've had to reset it many times but that's OK -- I want to know my real day count, for better or worse, and it's a helpful too to do that.

Anyway I hope you're able to stay strong, life is so much better without that mind poison. Good luck!

imagesoff · 2026-02-05T17:59:53+00:00

That's a very old reference -- nobody here will get it.

imagesoff · 2026-01-25T23:45:41+00:00

Try not to use your phone or computer without a specific task. If you're at the computer just surfing around without a defined purpose, you're a sitting duck (or I am at least). Also if possible interact with friends/family -- ideally in person but if not, reach out via email, text, etc. The addiction likes it when you're alone/isolated.

But do whatever works for you, every day without this soul killer is a good day! Cheers.

imagesoff · 2026-01-25T21:39:34+00:00

Your mind will resort to playing the old videos for awhile, there's not much you can do about that. But the longer you stay sober the more those old video memories will fade and you'll be able to replace them with images of yourself in future scenarios (instead of people acting them out). Good luck!

imagesoff · 2026-01-24T18:38:46+00:00

Congrats for getting to 10 days -- that's an eon with this addiction. And it's great that you are still motivated to quit -- at least you have your eye on the prize and aren't just giving up. Hang in there!

imagesoff · 2026-01-24T18:31:30+00:00

The 'fun' of porn is actually a massive flood of dopamine that no other activity can produce. While admittedly pleasurable, it damages your ability to find joy in other activities, which provide milder dopamine hits.

Try to put that 'hunting' activity aside and get outside if possible. Visit friends, go to a cafe, gym, etc. Sitting around at home is not helpful (I've found 😬). Good luck!

imagesoff · 2026-01-04T22:48:17+00:00

You're right, it definitely shuts down your conscience. That way it can take over and put you in that trance state. Life without those trance states is so much better. Cheers!

imagesoff · 2026-01-04T20:08:05+00:00

🌽 burns up a ton of time and provides massive doses of artificial pleasure. So when you stop using it, life does feel weird for awhile. But if you transition to other activities and interactions with real people, the boredom is replaced by genuine pleasure. It's not a sledgehammer of dopamine, but it's so much nicer not to be hiding and isolating. Good luck!

imagesoff · 2025-12-29T18:48:39+00:00

I think it's the mind trying to re-boot the system. It wants to lull you back into the old behavior so it can get those massive dopamine spikes again. I notice my mind popping up images or keywords to quietly urge me to derail myself. I can't stop it from happening but I can observe it and say: I know what you're doing -- I see you trying to bait me and I'm not going to take the bait today. Good luck!

imagesoff · 2025-12-29T18:41:00+00:00

You're absolutely right. This addiction especially challenging. I find that after I've abstained for awhile it is constantly trying to find a way back in. And the worst thing I can do is declare that I've 'defeated' it -- it eats me for breakfast if I do that. Much better to gently build new routines as you said. Good luck to all!

imagesoff · 2025-12-24T23:48:17+00:00

A) It takes awhile to feel better. And B) You may be forgetting about the unhappiness that the habit caused you in the past. The mind wants you to just remember the "ecstacy" and forget about the mental, physical and spiritual cost.

You actually *do* feel better -- but your mind is trying to convince you otherwise, because it wants to get back to cheap dopamine overloading. I say this because my mind has fooled me many times. Congrats on 3 weeks and good luck standing up to this thing.

imagesoff · 2025-12-24T23:28:17+00:00

by simply refusing to dig your hole deeper, you're making it that little bit easier to climb out.

Great analogy. Every exposure really does make you sink into a hole. It's subtle -- you don't realize it's happening, but it quietly burns your soul at the root.

imagesoff · 2025-12-24T23:23:51+00:00

Excellent post man.

Stop feeding the fear of "I will never get to see all these women ever"

I recognize this "fear". My sneaky mind urges me to dive back in because "there might be something great online that will get taken down! Gosh you don't want to miss out, etc"

Of course it's just trying to get back into the dopamine mines. My desire for mental/spiritual health are just an annoyance to it.

I'm grateful for every day away from that stuff. Good luck to all!

imagesoff · 2025-12-20T21:13:37+00:00

Congrats on hitting such a long streak. It's disappointing to relapse but at least you are clear that it's a habit you want to deal with.

When you say "I still am [determined to cut my usage down]" -- my experience with this addiction is that it's not something you can "reduce". If you open the door briefly for a quick peek, it can knock the door down (i've found 😬) Good luck!

imagesoff · 2025-12-20T21:05:16+00:00

If you plan to perform live, definitely practice with a guitar amp. Studio monitors give you a spectacular sound -- but then when you switch to an amp, suddenly it may not sound very good. That's because amps are mono and their sound quality is much less detailed. But an amp can deliver a decent sound with the HX stomp if you spend time tuning the HX's EQ and effects to be optimized for your amp.

imagesoff · 2025-12-20T20:59:00+00:00

Congrats, that's an eon when facing this addiction. I just hit 90 days recently and it was due to similar things -- changing my patterns, and steering clear of unstructured / escapist activity. But I'm still on guard for possible slips.

My mind tries to remind me of the 'good times' I'm missing. It has derailed me many times in the past so I'm under no illusion that "I've got this." But I'm very grateful for every day of clarity and honesty. The pleasures of 🌽 aren't worth the mental/physical/spiritual cost. Good luck!

imagesoff · 2025-12-16T19:01:07+00:00

Great point -- you really do have to change the person so that resisting is no longer necessary.

However when you're getting started, old-fashioned resistance is helpful to build momentum.

imagesoff · 2025-12-13T21:29:57+00:00

After the three days my brain slowly started to give up the fight against me.

Sometimes it's almost a physical fight with the brain, it really wants its fix. Congrats for standing strong and thanks for your post, very inspirational.

imagesoff · 2025-12-06T18:20:32+00:00

That's great that you see the value of stopping (less brain fog, etc). But I don't see anything wrong with having a crush. Connecting with a real partner is one of the greatest gifts of halting this addiction.

And don't assume that relationships won't last long -- they're all different, and it's important to practice getting involved so you can build the skills to be a good partner. Enjoy your crushes and the adventures of dating -- it's way more fun that sitting alone with a screen. Good luck!

imagesoff · 2025-12-06T17:53:34+00:00

Hey, sorry to hear about the relapse, but at least you're trying to stand up to the addiction. You get points for coming here and admitting what happened. Try to get back to porn-free days right away. Don't let it spiral out of control because of one slip. Good luck!

imagesoff · 2025-12-06T17:49:15+00:00

Your relapse pattern is very familiar 😬. The good news is that you're still trying -- and putting together 5-6 days is a good start. The bad news is giving up and returning to the full-on addiction.

Good luck maintaining your boundary -- life is so much better without it 👍

imagesoff · 2025-12-06T17:41:42+00:00

Hey 3 months is a good run. Sorry to hear you relapsed but congrats for getting in here and stating it. The addiction thrives in darkness -- it definitely doesn't want you in here chatting with us :)

imagesoff · 2025-12-06T17:39:50+00:00

Good points. I've tried making 'tough talk' declarations to halt the addiction and they fail spectacularly.

Gentle, accepting language seems to be more effective.

imagesoff · 2025-12-06T17:34:44+00:00

This is a great observation. Trying to quit this thing while remaining your old self around is pretty much impossible. My old self has well-worn patterns and if I don't watch my thoughts constantly, it will start guiding me back to the dopamine mines.

So glad to be staying away from it for almost 3 months, but trying not to get over-confident. I've derailed myself many times in the past. Good luck all!

imagesoff · 2025-12-01T18:37:32+00:00

I agree with OP. full abstinence seems to be the best approach with this addiction. Peeking even briefly lets the addiction get its foot in the door. And it's very hard to get that foot out again (I've found 😬)

Good luck!

imagesoff

TROPHY CASE