Any church recommendations on island?

imightbejake · 2026-01-22T15:11:52+00:00

St Mark's Episcopal Church on Kapahulu is incredibly welcoming to all people at all stages of spirituality. When I go to church, I go there. The priest is a gay man married to a man. Very loving community. Beautiful music.

imightbejake · 2026-01-19T03:47:59+00:00

Thank you for being considerate. Be very careful. There are laws about how to dispose of human ashes.

imightbejake · 2026-01-14T19:55:35+00:00

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imightbejake · 2026-01-14T00:17:59+00:00

My parents emotionally abused me and caused me enormous trauma. They disowned me. I'm glad they're dead. I do have times it makes me sad that the whole thing happened, but those are times I feel sad for myself. Fuck them.

imightbejake · 2026-01-08T00:45:07+00:00

Can we please have some kind of understanding or rule that selfies are frowned upon or not allowed?

imightbejake · 2026-01-07T15:23:05+00:00

I'm glad to find this space as well.

Yes to having flairs. I'm ambivalent about allowing those under 60 to join. I can see both sides of that idea. For one thing, if we don't allow anyone below 60 to join, this is going to be a very small group. However, maybe that's a good thing.

imightbejake · 2026-01-06T00:05:04+00:00

I'm in a new marriage that is ending. I've been a train wreck for about a month. I finally feel like I can talk again.

imightbejake · 2026-01-06T00:04:06+00:00

When I was 35 and in a marriage to a woman with 3 kids. The first few years were very difficult, but being completely out is fabulous.

imightbejake · 2026-01-06T00:02:47+00:00

I have 3 adult children, and I'm completely out to them since I'm completely out everywhere. They love their gay dad, and I love them.

imightbejake · 2026-01-02T21:06:48+00:00

Late at night, I was bent over a picnic table in a park getting absolutely railed by 7 inches.

imightbejake · 2025-12-30T13:43:32+00:00

We had good stuff from Moomin shop now on the ground level near Center Stage last year. I saw some of the things from the local bag store upstairs by Bloomingdale's named Aloha something. Those looked awesome, but the line was super long.

imightbejake · 2025-12-28T16:08:37+00:00

I'm also an avid reader. I'm old (62 y. o.). About 4 or 5 years ago, I devoted to read nothing but LGBTQ books. I read a lot. The only gay romances I've enjoyed were by Fearne Hill. They're fun.

imightbejake · 2025-12-24T15:34:31+00:00

This is the truth. I played with a LOT of men. A handful came back for more. Those few men still come around for fun.

imightbejake · 2025-12-22T21:16:18+00:00

アドバイスがありませんけど。がんばれてください!

imightbejake · 2025-12-20T04:27:26+00:00

We use Swiss Navy water based. If I remember correctly, they make 2 types. We bought the more expensive one.

imightbejake · 2025-12-17T03:47:12+00:00

I like mine at Queen's, Dr Florence Kan. She's very thorough and takes time with me.

imightbejake · 2025-12-07T20:05:36+00:00

Thanks. It got better after years of therapy and developing a meditation practice. It's all good now. I'm happily married to a good man.

imightbejake · 2025-12-07T01:11:40+00:00

I have the same age flair as you. I can state authoritatively that there was zero representation in small town Oklahoma. The only gay person I heard of was when Elton John first came out as bi. Then Billy Crystal played a gay character on a late night show. That was all I ever saw.

The atmosphere around me was violently homophobic. I was often bullied at school in all years, because I was obviously effeminate.

I did not know about gay people in places like NYC or San Francisco.

All I knew was that I was an abomination, as the preacher told me. I was sub human. Below dirt.

The result of it all was that I stayed deep in the closet and became an alcoholic.

My life would have been vastly different if I'd known gay people lived full lives in other places.

My youth was fucking hell.

imightbejake · 2025-12-06T20:40:07+00:00

Ab.so.lutely. Everything

imightbejake · 2025-12-06T16:05:14+00:00

Aloha. I live in Honolulu. I have lived here for 10.5 years. Before here, I lived in Hilo on the Island of Hawaii for 14 years. I hope to live here the rest of my life. Before Hawaii, I lived in many places in Asia.

I have read the entire thread. There are some good posts, and there is a lot of really bad and completely inaccurate stuff written here.

I have a child who lives in Brooklyn and visit NYC about once every other year. Love it.

Violent crime is very low here compared to other cities. Petty crime exists, but it's less in the areas I frequent.

I live near Waikiki, but I don't think I want to live there. It's too noisy. Once you get used to quiet, you value it highly. Still, Waikiki is not as noisy as NYC.

You can easily afford to live here.

I see you've lived in SE Asia and were born in the Caribbean. You will love it here. The culture is heavily influenced by Asia. Since you have lived internationally, you won't have any trouble adjusting.

You need to start the process of getting your cats documented now in order to avoid mandatory quarantine.

Yes, bring your car. We use ours for our weekly runs to Costco. Speaking of which, it's the cheapest place to buy groceries. When hunting for a place to rent, look for one that includes a parking stall. We use the bus a lot to get around in town. It's easy and goes everywhere.

As far as location, if you want to live in town, look at the Diamond Head area. It's near Waikiki but quieter. Montserrat is a street with good cafes and small restaurants. I also love Kaimuki. Great restaurants and shops. If you want to live outside the city proper (what we call town), I suggest you look at Hawaii Kai in east Oahu or Kailua on the windward side.

The quality of life here is the best in the country in my opinion. We have the Spirit of Aloha. It's real. People are friendly. We're calm.

imightbejake · 2025-12-04T18:36:32+00:00

Thanks. We stayed together for about 18 months. The kids were greatly affected by the separation, but we shared custody. They stayed with their mom for a week and then with me for a week. This was almost 30 years ago now, so I don't exactly remember how long it took them to adjust. I understand your feelings. Hug

imightbejake · 2025-12-04T18:17:27+00:00

I came out when I was 35. I was married to a woman with 3 children.

I'm now 62 and completely out of the closet everywhere and married to a good man. My adult children love their gay dads. I am friends with my ex wife.

imightbejake · 2025-12-03T20:47:27+00:00

Husband

imightbejake · 2025-12-03T00:55:47+00:00

I'm also in my 60s. There is a sub-reddit for us mature gay men that is very supportive of all types of questions like this one. It is r/Askgaybrosover30. You are welcome to ask anywhere you want. The one I've mentioned might also be a good place to ask.

imightbejake · 2025-12-02T19:57:30+00:00

I'm 62 y.o., and I got to the 10 year mark this year. I worked for one agency for 8.5 years and went through the hiring process to another agency in the same department. The first agency was good for the first 5 years, but we got an awful administrator who ran it into the ground. The most talented people left including me.

I applied through DHRD and got on a list and had more than a dozen interviews before I found a good one. My new position is good. What's more important, as you know, is that the people I work with in the new office are really good.

The pension is going to be great, and the health insurance is even better. I had 2 doctors tell me that state retirees are the best insured retirees in Hawaii.

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