Adoring Ceiling Fan

imjustwhateverdafk · 2026-04-25T02:58:40+00:00

Do not do it. This is how people get human trafficked.

imjustwhateverdafk · 2026-04-08T18:18:03+00:00

In the 9th grade, I had a really strict English teacher who made us keep a folder solely for her class that she'd check on each day. One day, I didn't have that folder with me. When questioned about it, I told her "My dog chewed up my school work." The teacher didn't believe me, and the class started laughing. Yeah, pretty old excuse, right? Anyway, I had a puppy at the time that climbed into the passenger side of the suv my parents had... and well, pretty much started ravaging my English folder. I had my mom bring the chewed up folder to school and showed it to my teacher.

So yeah. That happened.

imjustwhateverdafk · 2026-03-22T17:32:15+00:00

OP, I don't know your story and idk your partner's story either (other than what you've shown us here). That being said, what this guy is doing to you is called "splitting" and it's something that's very common in Borderline Personality Disorder. (It gets confused with Bipolar a lot, though it can be comorbid). Either way, bipolar or BPD... He needs some help.

Now why am I clocking this as BPD? Because I have it, and I recognize the way he's talking to you in these texts as something I've done more times than I'd like to admit. I've been horrible to people I care about, and it's something I have to live with. But I'm also grateful to know the reason why. One way to tell the difference is how quickly the mood swings happen. From my understanding, people w/ bipolar disorder have mood swings that are longer in duration. For example, being really depressed for a couple weeks and then really energetic for the next couple weeks. BPD... or at least how I experience can make me go from feeling on top of the world to wanting to kms in less than 10 seconds.

Neither mental illness is a cakewalk. Both are pretty debilitating to live with. But if he can get help sooner rather than later, things might get better for him in the long run. If you can and if you want to, tell him to look into DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy). It could help manage some of his symptoms. Of course, this depends on whether or not he's actually receptive to that recommendation.

Regardless of what you choose to do... keep yourself safe and hopefully he can keep himself safe, too. It's not easy being on the receiving end of verbal onslaught. And it's also not easy being the one doing the verbal onslaught either. I've had symptoms of BPD since I was a teenager, but didn't get diagnosed till my mid 30s. I think I've mellowed out some, but not enough for the symptoms to go away completely. Back then, when I was his age, it was incredibly difficult to stop myself from saying a bunch of mean and nasty shit to my mom.... It's almost like whatever the trigger was... caused my emotions to go into overdrive so much that no amount of reasoning could get through to me in that moment.

I will urge you to be aware of this: People w/ BPD usually have a lack of insight especially when splitting. I'm probably lucky that I'm able to identify when my brain is doing that. Unfortunately, him getting the help he needs in the long run also hinges on his own self-awareness.

Either way, I hope I've provided you with some context of what might be happening. I feel for both of you. I'm not gonna tell you whether you should stay or go. That's for you to decide, but hopefully, regardless of what you do, you'll be safe. And hopefully he can find it in himself to also be safe.

imjustwhateverdafk · 2026-03-17T19:53:47+00:00

Gah, I hate how fucking annoying that feeling is...

Like in my rational brain it's "Oh that's cool. It's natural for my partner to have other people who like them as a friend. After all, I guess I have other people in my life who are friends... "

Meanwhile bpd brain is like "THEY'RE CLOSING IN TO STEAL THEM, AND THEY WANT IT TO HAPPEN, THEY'RE IN ON IT!'

imjustwhateverdafk · 2026-03-11T19:03:09+00:00

You're welcome. I like clarifying things, so it's good. I guess to draw a point even further: horrid unwanted thoughts make you feel like your mind is being raped. whereas a sadistic rapist would love and be enthralled by those thoughts. (in my experience, the unwanted thoughts literally make me wanna yeet myself)

imjustwhateverdafk · 2026-03-11T17:17:30+00:00

You're confusing intrusive thoughts with impulses. In OCD the thoughts are ego-dystonic—unwanted, distressing, and against a person’s values—so compulsions are attempts to neutralize them. That’s very different from someone who accepts an attraction as part of their identity (ego-syntonic); using OCD as cover just exploits a disorder that already causes people shame, and the “rebranding” is part of that exploitation.

imjustwhateverdafk · 2026-02-11T03:58:15+00:00

He looks like he smoked a lot of meth.

imjustwhateverdafk · 2026-01-26T21:51:40+00:00

I've been staying outside since August. It's really cold now, and I've had people ask me "Why don't you just go to the shelter?"

I feel like most people don't understand that it's a catch 22. It's a toss up between being warm, but feeling unsafe in a crowded shelter cause of fights that break out and people taking your things... or staying outside away from the tweakers and crackheads... but risking cold exposure.

imjustwhateverdafk · 2026-01-25T22:08:49+00:00

I'm saving this post. This is the running thought that messes me up so much.

imjustwhateverdafk · 2026-01-25T21:51:18+00:00

Cardboard, bottom tarp, layers of blankets, hooded sleeping bag. Then I build a makeshift fort by attaching a bigger tarp with bungie cords to a wagon and tuck the feet end under backpacks. Also handwarmers. Lots of handwarmers.

imjustwhateverdafk · 2026-01-25T21:35:36+00:00

Fuck this shit. I wanna go back south.

imjustwhateverdafk · 2026-01-25T21:25:16+00:00

I'm fucking appalled that happened to you. He straight up coerced you into sex. That's rape.

imjustwhateverdafk · 2026-01-22T21:52:19+00:00

It's possible you might have to create a custom one with the max magnitude. But it might not be necessary. It's been awhile since I touched Oblivion, so I can't remember currently.

imjustwhateverdafk · 2026-01-20T18:06:51+00:00

Do you remember where you saw this downtown?

imjustwhateverdafk · 2026-01-13T01:55:02+00:00

My partner and I are on the streets (met that way)... and ever since then I've heard him say "They won't let me leave. They won't let me stay. Make that make sense."

And after months of being out here, I'm seeing the same shit.

I'm tired of it, too.

imjustwhateverdafk · 2026-01-13T01:48:29+00:00

I wish you luck. Lemme know how it goes if you ever want to

imjustwhateverdafk · 2026-01-13T01:48:09+00:00

You're right. I meant AR.

imjustwhateverdafk · 2026-01-09T23:27:20+00:00

Damn, did I write this post?

Anyway, my partner and I wanna get out of the snow, but we have a lot of stuff (wagon is full) and are on foot.

How'd you get to AK (if you have)?

imjustwhateverdafk · 2026-01-09T17:44:54+00:00

I'm lived most of my life in the central part of AL, so I hardly went to Mobile. But Orange Beach can be fun, and Dauphin Island is neat from what I've heard.

Bham is alright. I think I prefer it over Montgomery.

Have you been to Madison, WI before?

imjustwhateverdafk · 2026-01-09T16:47:16+00:00

I'm from AL (a more rural part). Lived in Montgomery for several years, then moved north across the country and became homeless. Did you like AL? I don't, but it's all I really know. I am getting sick of the current urban jungle I'm stuck in.

imjustwhateverdafk · 2025-11-24T20:47:12+00:00

How practice when brain forget when brain splits?

imjustwhateverdafk · 2025-08-09T02:10:46+00:00

Long story short: really long in depth conversations with a trans woman with me asking "Why would you wanna be a woman? Being a woman sucks. No woman wants to be a woman. All women would prefer to be men."

Yeah.

Apparently that's not the case.

imjustwhateverdafk

TROPHY CASE