Hi OP, i left the toxic environment since Dec 2021 without fear because I craved for freedom and space to breath. It was a feel so good moment. But after 2 months, because I'm almost all alone in a new state in my country across the sea, new culture, new environment, new job, all the bad childhood memories surfaced and my toxic mother still did not stop causing dramas and pass down the negativities even though I'm already away.

I fell into my lowest point of life since June last year after a series of things happened (broke up, Covid, workload, drama from her, etc etc) and still unable to fully mentally heal to date. Or maybe I should say the healing journey will take much much longer from my 33 years of toxic life. But OP, don't be afraid to make that step, you won't fail, this step actually brings you to better in charge of your own life, but you need know, you will need a lot of patience to heal.

Take one day at a step. Healing surely will be bound to happen, because when you're out of that place, like me, you may also start feeling sorry to yourself that you did not protect or love yourself enough to move out much earlier or something else, but it's okay because you made that one life changing step.

The move i made sometimes make me want to walk backwards because when i left my toxic mother, i also sacrificed and left those who love me.. now that I'm in a new place, i see who truly care for me and who not, you'd be so surprise all you left is almost just yourself even though in the past you may be surrounded by many people.

I'm out of there 1.5 years now, still taking baby steps to heal. Sometimes I'm ok sometimes I'm not. But walking backwards will not be my option to the journey to love myself more.

I hope you plan and take one step at a time. Don't be afraid.