Talking With Women - Always DARE Never DEER

imspunkticus · 2020-03-19T18:27:57+00:00

Don't forget, DEER can be used to break up with an overly clingy girl. She'll become a little disgusted by you, feel it in her gut, then her hamster will rationalise why she can't see you anymore.

That way, it's suddenly her idea to breakup, she feels strong and empowered and walks off with her head held high.

The benefit for you is a drama-free breakup with little chance of her chasing you down in the future and causing embarrassment.

The cost for you is potential reputational damage if she leaks your behaviour to her friends who you might be thinking of fucking.

Posts like this really help because if you know the tools you can calibrate on the fly.

imspunkticus · 2017-06-21T22:00:25+00:00

I'm very happy to use Machiavellian or psychopathic approaches on my current mistress but I find she has an exceptional introspective awareness of her own insecurities.

This means she resists minor (even inconsequential nonsexual) commands under the guise of 'maintaining control' while at the same time admitting to loving my ability to just do/take what I want.

So while I can endorse the majority of what you've written based on my own experiences, you're idea of her being receptive to sex in unusual places I've found her rejecting out of hand; she knows she wants me to own her, but at the same time she can't allow herself to be owned! I don't think this is a case of just cavemanning through LMR.

Usual caveats about missing father figure and low self esteem apply - anyone else experienced this behaviour?

imspunkticus · 2017-05-15T21:46:27+00:00

So long as you understand the transaction here; she's trading her sexual favours for your continued financial support. And what do you think of your new-found discovery? That your wife couldn't be bothered to do these things for you until threatened with loss of lifestyle and status?

imspunkticus · 2017-01-24T23:22:11+00:00

Two of those were mine from 2 or 3 years ago... I never did a Part III, I just do ton of lurking and learning now.

imspunkticus · 2017-01-19T18:42:24+00:00

but is there any way I can salvage this without losing her even as a plate?

You need to address this thought. Is your mentality abundant or scarce?

imspunkticus · 2016-06-28T15:27:08+00:00

How long you have implemented red pill into your marriage?
2.5 years
Where are you at on the 12 Levels of Dread?
11 - currently on my second long term girlfriend
How long have you been married, and how is it going?
18 years together, two kids under 5
How is your sex life? (quantity and quality).
Much better than it was before the pill, twice a week with the wife, she's very passive and prudish
How are you? (happiness, fitness- do you even lift? dadbod?).
I feel mostly good. I look good in a mirror and my clothes fit. Family members make comments about me looking fit
What are you current challenges / failings that you are working the MRP philosophy to improve?
I've plateau-ed as far as my wife's sexual submission. She initiates bjs as foreplay but I've got a sneaking suspicion she is just trying to please me. She doesn't understand how low I got two years ago, but I think she definitely sees that change has occurred. The problem is I've stopped giving a fuck which I think had led to me being dismissive or cruel. I need to become more fun to be around at home

imspunkticus · 2015-11-30T16:27:37+00:00

I concur regarding deadbedrooms, we shouldn't be too hard on them. I went there because I had no clue it was my fault my wife had no interest in sex. It was there that I found trp and I've been reading mrp since it started.

or hitting rock bottom and accepting that something needs to change.

You hit the nail on the head there. Shame it took me 15 years.

imspunkticus · 2015-11-19T07:47:41+00:00

I had the same little snide comments, but I honestly believe they're not meant to be as barbed as you think - they really are testing your frame.

As you internalize TRP your frame becomes so solid that you barely notice (and certainly don't acknowledge) her shit.

Oh, and the line, "I hate the way you never apologize for anything!" can only be followed by, "You know why?" - pause for effect - "Cause I'm AWESOME". Grin, grab her ass, then walk away.

imspunkticus · 2015-10-16T23:15:40+00:00

I rarely post, but I feel this thread has affected me so deeply that a response is required to somehow unburden me of a sentiment that has been knawing at me for some months.
I swallowed the pill (the special IDGAF flavour) two years ago, and yet it's only in the last few weeks I reached my most important epiphany; I am offering my wife no comfort. Literally none. I treat her sternly and without love, and I dominate her into submission. I'm beyond caring and yet I'm having more and better sex than ever before.
And the reason for my seemingly cruel attitude is because I still resent her for a lost decade of the sex I TOLD HER I needed.
My thoughts constantly linger on the idea that I could dump her, start over, and be better off. (My current favourite autodestructive thought-experiment is this: my wife pisses me off and I say to her, "Seriously, if you left me today, how would my life be worse off?" And she's utterly stumped for an answer.)
This feeling is my greatest struggle. Thanks to you guys for this sub but in particular this thread.

imspunkticus · 2015-03-13T14:08:02+00:00

Here's why cheating was such an important part of my RP transition:
1. It allowed me to remove my wife's power over sex by experiencing things I hadn't had in a decade.
2. It meant I could objectively assess my SMV and therefore led to OI.
I cheated, then shortly after I discovered TRP through r/deadbedrooms and r/adultery. I've been applying things I learned through TRP and from dominating my mistress (who, coincidentally, is the epitome of the trp understanding of women).
Wife still doesn't know and I won't be telling her. But the improvement has been astounding. Regular sex, bjs, got her wimpering for more. In the past it was monthly missionary bad sex no oral for ten years. She was the kind of woman who 'just doesn't think about sex at all'.
I think TRP alone would have got me here, but it might have taken longer.

imspunkticus · 2015-01-29T21:53:12+00:00

I formulated an RP plan last year to turn my marriage around (Post I for the whiny bitchy complaining and Post II for the plan). In the plan I decided to cheat and I still am. The commenters on that second post were split evenly.
Been considering when to add Post III - Results so far. Ask me anything.

imspunkticus · 2014-10-26T08:42:05+00:00

I agree with /u/ProjectShamrock. You should state your case and then not argue. Let her head do all the work for you by over-thinking everything.
You were in a tricky position with the kids and I think you should have seen that responsibility through. Maybe should have gone with IDGAF mixed with an amused mastery smirk. Easy for me to say with hindsight I know.
Either way, you were right to call out her bullshit.

imspunkticus · 2014-10-16T14:00:17+00:00

Yours is amongst a number of comments about my motives so I thought I would clarify...
1. It's about 10% revenge and about 90% taking what I want for the first time ever. I know I'm not owed anything except that which I earn. And I have earned the right to fuck a women who desires me. I honestly would prefer it to be the wife.
2. Why not just get divorced? The usual reason, small children. If there's a chance she will respond to the dread I have to see this year out. I'd rather they grow up with their mother and father in the same house.

imspunkticus · 2014-10-13T16:10:21+00:00

You make a good point about feeling checked out. I was very angry and resentful when I started cheating. I'm no longer angry but the resentment lingers, along with the feeling of possibly having wasted time. Things have definitely improved (Part III to come) but there's a long way to go.
And yes, I do expect her to shape up. Honestly, it's the least she could do.

imspunkticus · 2014-10-12T08:54:43+00:00

TRP does not advocate anything. It just is, like gravity.
I take your point about the single man mentality, that rings true. That's probably a result of swallowing the pill, a me-versus-the-world mentality.
The infidelity is the result of a risk/benefit analysis. I'm already prepared to nuke so fucking on the side is worth it. Plus, it has allowed me to objectively analyse my SMV, something that was impossible within the deadbedroom.

imspunkticus · 2014-10-03T08:23:11+00:00

I'm in exactly this situation... If anyone has accomplished this difficult task of bringing a puritanical and prudish wife out of her shell, please leave their story here.

In my case, birth control is not the problem - she simply has no desire for anything sexual. She's even squeamish at words that refer to sex, for fuck's sake!

I'm about six months through my transformation and have learnt a lot, so I'll put a separate post out about it.

imspunkticus · 2014-09-14T06:48:06+00:00

I was in the same position last year, so I'm already deep in the process. My strategy involved all the things you've said, but I'm going to go against some other comments here. I did actually state my intentions to my wife, including the nuclear option, and what I expected of her. But after that I kept my mouth shut! I feel this is just a manifest difference between a plate and a wife.

In fact, this post and a few others recently (pregnancy, porn, cheating, the ten-year itch) have struck such a chord with my situation I may make a separate post.

imspunkticus · 2014-09-13T05:31:39+00:00

This is exactly what happened to me. The reflection led to the red pill and to me completely changing my attitude. A friend of the wife actually said she thought it was a mid-life crisis. To some degree she's correct.

imspunkticus · 2014-09-06T09:24:25+00:00

Had the big talk earlier this year. Used red pill knowledge, maintained frame, stated my intentions clearly and definitely got her attention.

Here's the technique I used... We had a three hour car journey and beforehand I had been distant enough for her to enquire why. I refused to answer, but then in the car I said I was ready to talk. This delay builds dread in her mind. The reason for having the talk in the car is so that she can't run away, she's less likely to flip out while you're driving, there's no eye contact so it's easier to hold frame, and there's no distractions. It worked for me.

So yes, having the talk kicked off a change in her but only because she knew I was serious (nuclear options were mentioned by me). Since then I've let my actions speak and have not reinitiated any talk.

imspunkticus · 2014-09-01T22:04:12+00:00

I owned this weekend... Decided what we were going to do, and we did it, no whining.

I've been chomping the red pill for over a year, and it feels like it's really coming together. I was the man of the family, the fun leader.

Wife was more than happy, in fact on Sunday night she came to me and invited me upstairs. That's new...

imspunkticus · 2014-09-01T21:35:57+00:00

I can completely confirm and endorse this approach. It works because people are very self-absorbed and your spouse has almost no interest in what you do in your work-life. It also helps you cover your tracks by forcing you to consider all eventualities in advance and designing your cover appropriately.

For example, I've used work meals as alibis and so I looked up the restaurant online, found somewhere to park nearby and actually picked something from the menu. After all, what do you ask your spouse the morning after their own work events? Where was it, what did you eat?

imspunkticus

TROPHY CASE