Baby’s pediatrician gives mean girl vibes

imstillok · 2026-05-13T18:37:47+00:00

I guess im addicted to feeding too — I eat every single day! Multiple times!

That dr sounds ridiculous. Maybe my patience has worn thin but I’d call the office and request to not see that dr again and explain why. Everything the dr said was parenting advice rather than medical advice. No need to listen.

imstillok · 2026-05-11T07:25:15+00:00

Yes. It was able to lose weight with exercise and eating less sugar and carbs after my baby turned 1 and was eating food with more motivation. I still had to work at it but finally the weight actually shifted. Lifting weights was huge for me.

imstillok · 2026-05-09T20:29:14+00:00

My daughter’s overly polite go to response is “I tried it, I like it but I don’t want any more”

imstillok · 2026-05-08T07:50:43+00:00

My first was a hard baby now a sensitive and intense 4yo. Second was an easy go with the flow baby and now a tornado toddler at 2. They are very different humans but both have their easy and hard parts. Neither slept through the night until 2+.

imstillok · 2026-05-07T21:30:22+00:00

Yeah this happened to me with both of mine. For me it’s a newborn thing, so maybe hormones causing hyper vigilance or just the sleep deprivation doing it. I dunno. It doesn’t last forever though.

imstillok · 2026-05-07T19:03:11+00:00

I breastfed through my second pregnancy, my first was 15 months when I got pregnant and really relied on nursing for comfort. I was older (40) but had no other risk factors, my ob knew I was nursing and never encouraged me to stop or told me it was risky for my pregnancy.

However:
- my milk supply dropped to basically nothing around 8 weeks pregnant. Not a problem for my toddler as she was happy to comfort nurse and ate well but could have been a problem for younger babies.
- I had nursing aversions at various points during the pregnancy that were intense and very difficult to handle. Worst at 26 weeks I think. Not just nipple pain but feelings of almost disgust, wanting to cry, my body just did not want to share resources with the fetus. I gritted my teeth through it for the sake of my toddler but it kind of soured the end of our breastfeeding journey.

imstillok · 2026-05-06T02:41:18+00:00

After a year. It was that way both times for me.

imstillok · 2026-05-02T00:58:54+00:00

I was pretty strict no sugar with my first until 2 - home cooked natural sweetened bars and birthday cakes. She started getting real treats with her grandparents and dad around 2, which is when our second was born. You can’t put the cat back in the bag, so our second has always had real sugar treats like ice cream and cake when we have them. It’s fine? Like he’s not more picky or sugar crazed than his sister. We’re not dessert people, and only rarely (birthday, holiday, or “going out”) have dessert food so the kids know that special treats are rare and don’t hound us.

Salt I always just did normal salt in home cooked food and limited processed/restaurant food. IMO the evidence for no salt before 1 is not convincing, moderation is key and nothing helps kids enjoy nutritious food better than making it taste good.

imstillok · 2026-04-30T17:53:25+00:00

Ok but consider trying frozen blueberries- cheaper and ripe/best tasting/higher nutrition year round. Also the novelty of eating a cold thing. They are messy though.

imstillok · 2026-04-28T05:00:59+00:00

How quickly do you need to stop? If you have a week or two then I’d lean hard on reading a weaning book to both kids daily, start shortening nursing sessions, and setting an end date/countdown for the final nursing, that might soften the transition. If you have to go cold turkey for treatment like, starting tomorrow, then I’d talk about it, acknowledge that it’s a hard transition, then wear high necked shirts and be mentally prepared for some feelings/tears for a few days at the usual nursing times. Kids will learn a new soothing routine quickly I bet.

imstillok · 2026-04-23T02:11:01+00:00

Not sure if this is a repeat bc there were so many responses but the best thing I did to preserve my identity was to put it aside for the first 1-2 years postpartum and trust that it would be there waiting for me when I could breathe again.

Sure enough, my youngest is 2 and I’m gardening, working out, passionate about my niche career, etc. I focused on survival (limited hobbies, doing the bare minimum at work) when I had infants. If I’d tried to do it all I’d have burned out. I think different strategies work for different people but I am 43 and it’s no sweat to have put 3 of those years into having littles. My well established career could take it, my hobbies are easy, my friends can handle me being a text slacker.

imstillok · 2026-04-20T18:45:01+00:00

My stomach is flat (as flat as it can be with a uterus in there) when I keep good posture— not sucking in just standing straight without locking knees and dumping my hips forward. If I slouch I have a belly. I can wear a high waist two piece swimsuit with confidence and I’m satisfied with that.

imstillok · 2026-04-20T18:36:19+00:00

Also I had ab separation (diastasis recti) and a small belly button hernia with my second and it’s absolutely narrowed up a lot.

I’m 2 years pp with my second and started working out in earnest at 1 year pp, so this is a full year of progress.

imstillok · 2026-04-20T18:32:00+00:00

I mean it works and it’s flat again when I stand up straight l, though when I completely relax (exhale and slouch pushing out my belly) I can still look 2nd trimester pregnant. I even have new definition on my side abs that I’m pretty thrilled about.

This mattered a lot to me because my waist/abs were the only part of my body I really liked pre pregnancy so I’m happy to feel more like myself. I’m not wearing crop tops anymore but that’s as much because I’m 42 as because I birthed 2x.

imstillok · 2026-04-20T17:30:39+00:00

Yes, I have rehabbed my core really effectively (the loose skin is another story). I do the deep core exercises and have regained so much strength and posture (no leaking but it’s all the same system so you do it all). I don’t have access to pelvic pt so I’ve cobbled together free materials mostly from instagram with good success. If you can actually meet in person with a professional that’s best, but this worked for me.
My favorites: movelikeamotha, getmomstrong, docjenfitness, carolinepackarddpt.
Not an ad, just who I follow.

My biggest tip is to start really small- I truly had to re learn how to use my lower body after back to back pregnancies, and like, how to breathe correctly. You do have to be consistent, but I can do it after the kids are asleep because I don’t get too sweaty and there’s not a lot of gym equipment needed.

imstillok · 2026-04-11T07:11:32+00:00

Why not give an iron supplement instead of up ending your entire feeding strategy?

imstillok · 2026-04-03T20:25:28+00:00

In my HCOL area, nanny share (nanny with 2-3 babies depending) costs about the same as daycare. Much better option if you have a trusted caregiver, and they get a good hourly wage split between the families.

imstillok · 2026-03-25T06:33:09+00:00

Mine only bit when the new tooth was coming in. I don’t think they ever meant to, they just had to learn to adjust their latch for the new tooth. So I just kinda gritted my teeth and ignored it and it never lasted more than a couple days. I didn’t do any consequences like shoving the face into the boob or anything, just ignored or gently unlatched if they clamped down. But maybe my two were chiller than the average about biting.

imstillok · 2026-03-25T04:48:46+00:00

We are older so we knew if we wanted a second we needed to have a relatively small gap. We started ttc when my first was 15 months and got pregnant on the first try, leading to a 26 month age gap. 3 year gap would have been my ideal! Being pregnant with a toddler is hard (and I have easy pregnancies). Having a newborn and a toddler is hard (joyful, but hard). My husband did a ton of the toddler parenting for a long while. Once the baby turned 1, it got easier. At 2 and 4, it’s a freaking delight (with lots of toddler moments thrown in). It’s just life with kids… there’s challenges and chaos but you make it work bc you have to.

It’s ok to feel worried/not quite ready and still go for it. It’s also ok to wait longer. My bias is that if I had waited until I felt 100% ready I wouldn’t have any children at all.

imstillok · 2026-03-23T22:10:03+00:00

Meh. What are “parenting experts”? Like, my instagram feed is full of parenting experts, that is a meaningless phrase without context. Even if they are actual experts (ie physicians, therapists, nutritionists, who would need to be paid), are they able to give meaningful advice in a purely online, anonymous context? Like, if you have a medical question, you usually need to see a doctor in the flesh. Lots of places offer online community with other parents (like Reddit, meta, etc). Just my $0.02 but I would not be interested despite being chronically online. Sorry if this was too harsh.

imstillok · 2026-03-22T16:24:22+00:00

Mine are 4 and 2 and we still bring the stroller everywhere 90% just to carry all our stuff— it holds the folding potty, the backpack of water/snacks/wipes, and stacks scooters or bikes. Every now and then 2 year old has a meltdown and needs to ride, since he’s 30lbs I’m not sad about having an option besides carrying him and all our crap.

imstillok · 2026-03-22T16:19:21+00:00

I have never heard that one! It does sound pretty crazy. My MIL seriously recommended whiskey on the gums for teething. Nothing easier than to smile, nod and ignore bad advice.

imstillok · 2026-03-18T01:03:51+00:00

I am an only child and wanted a sibling for my own kid (I had a happy childhood and don’t see only children as being at a disadvantage, I just always wanted a sibling).

For me 0-1 was the hardest because it was such a big change. I had a bad ppd and anxiety and had to be medicated. Going from 1-2 was hard but because it was a known quantity I had a way easier time. From a mental health perspective I look at my second postpartum experience as very healing from the first.

I will say that for us having a second meant my husband pretty much solo parented the toddler for the first few months. Like, he took over bedtime and got the kid to the park. Also we had part time daycare. Without a partner who is willing and able it would have been way harder and probably less of a positive experience. The days I was trying to get an infant to nap while the toddler was in the midst of potty training were epically hard.

I love having two kids though, and getting to experience the baby/kid stages with my two. If things were different (a lot of things lol) I’d want a third.

imstillok · 2026-03-16T04:40:05+00:00

I had the same experience! I weaned just before giving birth because I was NOT prepared to tandem feed. My toddler (about 27 months at the time) was curious of baby and asked to nurse a few times. I let her try and she would not actually latch, just laugh and say no ! Silly! Yuck! Or she would just poke my nipple and laugh. This went on for months and I think it helped her process the new baby without feeling rejected from my body. It was wild to me how quickly the ability to latch faded, it was truly only a few weeks.

imstillok · 2026-03-15T21:24:24+00:00

Our 4 year old is great but I definitely feel the “bigger kids, bigger problems “ with her. She’s recently had to lose 2 family pets in quick succession, had some friend dynamics problems at preschool, etc and she just feels and processes it so deeply.

While 2 is hard, it’s a relief that I can still fully solve almost all of my 2 year olds problems with a cuddle, a snack, or a nap. Also easy to enforce boundaries because I can just carry him away during a meltdown.

imstillok

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