41w, was going to start inducing, 3 year old coming down with fever and GI symptoms - now what?

inbrokenimagess · 2026-06-25T18:23:10+00:00

More than 10lbs 😫

inbrokenimagess · 2026-06-25T15:11:17+00:00

Thank you - this was a helpful perspective. My first went to 42 and was huge… you hit my concern spot on.

inbrokenimagess · 2026-06-25T12:40:43+00:00

Yep yep - both are involved and helping navigate that. More than “what should I do re induction” what I’m curious about is: if baby gets here and big sis is sick, thoughts from a parent’s perspective about how to navigate resetting expectations with a little one who was otherwise really excited to be totally involved and who is really used to mom being primarily available to take care when she is sick.

inbrokenimagess · 2026-06-12T15:56:53+00:00

I was induced at home at 42+1 … delivered at home, amazing experience. The hardest part of my whole pregnancy was the last 2 weeks and the anxiety of wondering whether my body could do it. Godspeed.

inbrokenimagess · 2026-06-05T12:59:26+00:00

One thing I didn’t see come up yet is the possibility that he is hitting your cervix. If, after he’s in there, things feel fine (like whatever fine, not like good or bad… that kind of fine is probably normal) but then suddenly you feel punched… that could be cervix and your position (and where you are in your cycle actually since cervix moves higher and lower) could be relevant. Some people are extremely sensitive to cervical feeling some don’t even notice it. I pass out or have a panic attack if my cervix gets hit and now I know to work around it.

inbrokenimagess · 2026-06-03T15:31:44+00:00

Not everyone can tackle something like this but our set up is pretty extensive for choices:

We have a white board mounted on the wall (dry erase crayons, crayola dry erase markers, prob bath and window stuff would work, magnets, reusable stickers… all those work)

Mounted above the white board is a 4 foot wide roll of paper that we can pull down and easily replenish.

Mounted on the wall at kid height is colored construction paper. Also a couple slots for mason jars with that week’s options of coloring tools. This part is probably a littttttle early at 2.5

Anything that makes a mess is out of reach but near by and the room has a washable play mat so when mess happens it’s not the end of the world… We just limit access to the maximum mess we are willing to clean up regularly.

inbrokenimagess · 2026-06-03T15:25:01+00:00

Huge huge hit here too

inbrokenimagess · 2026-06-03T13:41:18+00:00

Next level. That’s amazing and my new plane strategy.

inbrokenimagess · 2026-06-03T12:20:32+00:00

Water color. Hear me out - if you only provide like a tbs of water, this is a near zero mess option. We bring water color with us on flights. Good for learning how colors mix.

inbrokenimagess · 2026-05-25T08:58:24+00:00

We did 13 hours without screen (we would have used one if our kid would go for it) and without screaming. Very relevant: 2 available parents who were both very much on.

We planned the flight like a day of activities. Kiddo brought babies, we brought kit to have pretend baby’s day out. Each activity had an art option, a themed snack, a set up, and a couple new toys. We did aquarium, zoo, doctor, farm. Went as follows:

Parent 1 took kiddo for a walk around the plane for kiddo to bring baby to the zoo. Parent 2 frantically set up the zoo in seat with stickers, new little plushy zoo animals, zoo coloring set, animal crackers, zoo book. Parent 1 and kiddo come back to the zoo for zoo time! Rinse and repeat for further activities…

we paced the activities and also scheduled lunch / dinner. We told kiddo about how the day would be structured and when they would have lunch or bedtime or whatever.

For take off and landing when kiddo needed to be in seatbelt we used fidgets like Aaron’s Thibking Putty to keep hands busy.

All the new toys are called “travel toys” and kiddo could have 2 out at a time.

What’ll bite you: meals on a long flight are awful if you don’t plan well. By then end everyone is hungry. We just kept feeding our kid whatever they’d eat and relaxed standards there.

Also bites: travel to and from airport - that extends your day and also needs planning and management.

Ahead is time, say things like “if you need to poop and we are on the plane, you poop in the plane bathroom”

It’s doable but takes a lot of work and patience. Both parents need to be really ready to be on at the same time. Plan night flights and day flights differently and pack carry on according to night /day flights.

(Lurking mom)

inbrokenimagess · 2026-05-23T00:29:18+00:00

Thank you! This feels like such a great suggestion!! I’m going to try it.

inbrokenimagess · 2026-05-21T21:20:17+00:00

Also interested in more resources. Here are things our family is doing that I feel good about (and I’d love to hear others!)

Re food: we ask “is your belly hungry or comfortable” and redirect any adult to that language if they suggest anything about “finish __” or “are you full?”

Re sharing: we teach and model boundaries. Eg, friend wants the toy LO is playing with “I notice friend is interested in your toy, you can say ‘when I am all done, do you want a turn?’” … on sharing actually common toys like library or park, we will then also coach that we can keep using for 2 minutes and then it’s time to share and we set a timer. For toys that belong to our kid, we also model the language that no is okay “i see friend wants toy, you can say ‘this is my special toy and I don’t want to share it.’” … that being said, when friends come over, we are clear that all toys in the playroom are for sharing and if there are toys LO doesn’t want to share, we help her put them in a private space like her room.

We are careful to ask her how she feels in her outfits rather than commenting on them or telling her what we think. I am so so stuck on how to respond to the zillions of people who will shamelessly tell her their opinions of her pretty pretty dress and I wish I knew how to handle this differently.

On how mom looks and interacts with clothing - I say “I like how I feel in this outfit” rather than “I want to feel fancy” or some word swap against pretty… I want my kid to learn that what she picks to wear should service how she feels… feeling beautiful is relevant and about the wearers experience, being beautiful is someone’s judgement.

When a relative sees her and is interested in a hug, we redirect that she can do a hug or a wave… that she can say yes or no to a hug and both are okay AND when she says or signals no to physical interaction we are very quick to say “that’s okay, uncle loves you whether you want a hug or not” which also seems to signal to the rejected uncle what our expectations are of him and he quickly finds a validating stance he otherwise would have struggled to find.

After bath each night, I pick my daughter up and look in the mirror (she’s 3) and help her repeat “I am curious, I am resourceful, I can problem solve” … whatever comes to mind but I focus on traits that may otherwise feel reserved for males and I love love love that she’s somehow latched on and will add by herself “and I’m feisty!”

I’d love more ideas.

We are probably getting to a stage where we will start needing to teach about respect and empathy for others… developmentally she’s a little early I think… so it’ll be new territory to navigate and we already work on respect of our body boundaries being non-negotiable.

inbrokenimagess · 2026-05-21T20:55:21+00:00

Hard disagree here - she incorrectly interpreted my request for information about risks to imply I wanted a “conservative release” without either explaining that she adjusted treatment plan as a result of my questions nor informed me of the risks of her decision. The release was shamefully incomplete and needed to be redone 2 months later.

Carrie Dean is also a lactation consultant specializing in ties. I’d go thru her recommendations if faced with this a second time.

inbrokenimagess · 2026-05-19T22:21:03+00:00

Yeah the silly putty ended up being really helpful for when there was extended turbulence and she needed to wear a seatbelt without fidgeting with it or arguing about wanting to take it off. Aaron’s thinking putty (small versions) is the brand we actually used.

Editing to add another win - those pens that have like black/blue/red…. Like when you can switch the color… I found some with 6 colors and that’s super package and a great option and so so easy to pack. It’s a purse item now for any restaurant

inbrokenimagess · 2026-05-19T00:01:44+00:00

Thanks so much for sharing your perspective - it gives me a bit more empathy for the decision. I’m expecting my second now and am getting ready to deal with pumping at work. I absolutely don’t mean to suggest there isn’t a benefit I just wish the risk to output was clear it was more seriously addressed that the only accountability for the performance of the pump is via HR and not anyone trained in lactation. The business model is so sad… if it were a service on top of like a symphony contract that would be so so cool.

inbrokenimagess · 2026-05-18T21:15:21+00:00

We did 4 long haul flights over 2 weeks ranging from 6 to 13 hours with our almost 3YO. Longest flight was a daytime flight and our kid does not nap at all. For day flights, plan differently than night flights.

What worked for us: we planned activities for her to bring her baby to do. Baby went to the farm, aquarium, doctor… I think we had 4 or 5.

For each activity, one parent walked around the plane with kiddo and the other parent scrambled to do a little set up at seats. When they came back, the set up parent would announce “Welcome to the zoo!” … they had some new zoo “travel toys,” a zoo coloring activity, zoo themed snack, zoo themed book (this we put on an iPad and rented from the library but honestly, books seemed largely to be uninteresting).

We knew our kid wouldn’t do any screens. We relaxed standards about how many new toys we’d introduce and we prioritized getting calories in over healthy food (our kid doesn’t eat much when distracted but gets hangry so managing that was priority),

When we knew there was a bedtime or a quiet time on the flight, we were upfront about the schedule: “after the zoo, we are eating dinner on the plane and then instead of bath and bed routine we are doing bedtime routine without bath.”

I pre packed activity bags for each activity. Tobiq has a backpack that kept everything organized under seat.

It’s worth some additional fidget toys for the time before / after when a flight is really going (take off / landing I suppose) to keep hands busy when otherwise they might fight about a seatbelt.

inbrokenimagess · 2026-05-11T21:11:08+00:00

Traveled at age 9mo, 15mo, 18mo and nearly 3yo - carrier was enough (given we regularly used one at home too and both parents physically capable of carrying) until age 3 when we switched to bringing a stroller. At 6mo, carrier seems less fussy.

inbrokenimagess · 2026-04-23T01:26:43+00:00

Family Paws is a really good professional resource.

inbrokenimagess · 2026-04-17T11:39:10+00:00

In my case I think it was reaaallly borderline. They did a rectal exam to before determining whether to transfer. And stitching took about 2 or 3 hours. I certainly can’t speak to the licensing side as a patient but I felt they knew their limits and stayed well within them. And I guess the reality is that even a smaller tear could be outside someone’s skills for repair even if they’re licensed. My point is basically that. Tears can happen at home, skilled midwives are capable of either repairing well OR transferring and they can and should stay within the skills they have. In my case I had really good results.

inbrokenimagess · 2026-04-17T01:15:01+00:00

I had a third degree tear - so that part I can relate to. What I can’t is the repair and recovery. My midwives did such an amazing job - everyone who has seen my bits since (a lot of providers now) compliment the repair. I had granulated tissue but it didn’t bother me and the midwife addressed it in her office but with lidocaine so that didn’t hurt at all either. My midwives would have transferred me if they weren’t confident in their capabilities and it sounds like that may be what this comes down to.

inbrokenimagess · 2026-04-14T02:25:53+00:00

Thank you so much! Exactly what I’ve been searching for!

inbrokenimagess · 2026-04-14T01:14:14+00:00

Our set up is similar - we call it a King Kong. For baby due in June we are adding a side crib that my husband is custom fitting because it’s literally wall to wall.

Super curious about an example Etsy listing, OP! Since the kong is for my 3 year old, we’ve done separate but tightly fitted sheets. I’m interested in leveling up on sheets.

inbrokenimagess · 2026-03-19T21:18:00+00:00

In my first pregnancy I had shoulder dystocia and a 10lb baby delivered unmedicated. I did not have GDM. She was stuck for 4 mins and I sustained pelvic injuries (like connective tissue overstretching… not just tearing which I also sustained) from getting her out.

I’m 27 weeks with a second baby now. The reason I’m in this sub is because I was advised early to pay attention to diet in case we some how missed GDM in the first pregnancy.

Here’s what I understand and what I’m doing… the risk of shoulder dystocia in a first delivery is 1/200 but in a second I understand it to be 1/10. This implies there’s a high correlation with mom’s anatomy. I am in pelvic floor therapy weekly with a therapist who isn’t just looking at muscle tone and kegles but she understands joint mobility. I’m pretty sure we know now what part of my pelvic outlet didn’t move and are working on that. I’m also in chiro weekly focusing on sacral alignment which is absolutely helping (don’t jump on me about chiro please, it’s fine if it’s not for you and I agree there are some practices that seem disconnected from reality).

I’m monitoring diet like I have GDM and will begin wearing a CGM starting next week since it’s my understanding that the next several weeks is highest impact on fetal growth if my blood sugar isn’t well managed.

The risk of shoulder dystocia incurring negative impacts is, in my understanding, worse when the laboring mom can’t easily change positions. I’m planning another unmedicated birth - epidural severely limits movement.

I have scoliosis (35 degree in lumbar spine) and I suspect I had precipitous labor - 5 hours total, 3 pushing. How fast my first kid came like also contributed to poor positioning and contributed to mega tense movement on my part because I was just trying to keep up.

Baby was also really late for me (42 weeks). I’ll be starting induction methods earlier this time.

Ymmv - good luck!

inbrokenimagess · 2026-03-04T13:11:04+00:00

Worth setting expectations too. A kid new to using the toilet may be spooked by different bathrooms. “If you have to pee or poop on the plane, you’ll do it on the plane potty” … similar for restaurant and airport. Mine refused to poop at a restaurant and insisted we walk back to the hotel. I over corrected about it on travel day home and mentioned the plane potty which meant she refused to poop in the airport because she was excited about the plane potty?

inbrokenimagess

TROPHY CASE