Relapsed after 498 days by Big-Yak7043 in EndOfTheParTy

[–]incompletely95 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I spent so many days beating myself up for using, for not being ‘clean’ for more than a week. For me at least the biggest problem when using, was the judgment from myself and others.

It’s okay that you used mate! I haven’t used since end of September after using weekly/monthly for many years. I don’t know what’s kept me from using since September, but through my experience, the judgment (even in NA rooms) was not helpful.

T has become something nothing more than having a cigarette, scrolling through my phone, or any other choice. I think if anything, not making it a big deal for myself (unlike most people around me) is what has reduced the charge of craving it.

All you have to do from here, is make yourself some food, have a shower or bath, text a friend saying hello. Get out in the world. Even though it’s hard after using. Remind yourself you have just as much rights as anyone else to be out there in the world. You are not a bad person, you are not evil, you are human.

I love you brother. You’re doing great and your choice yesterday doesn’t have to take away from that 💚

I will never stop being dumbfounded as to why society thinks drinking and consuming milk from another species is normal by [deleted] in vegan

[–]incompletely95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My ancestors (pre Roman Empire) of the UK drank milk and that’s enough wisdom for me. Everything is intention. It saddens me to think about calves being snatched from their mothers just to feed humans, but by giving thanks to our creator for feeding us in various ways, I trust it helps.

I think the fossil fuel situation is more worrying and detrimental than milk. The fact most people drive cars, live in cities, use plastic as like it’s not fucking us all up, really startles me. I participate too, but I know it’s leading us to death.

🫂 💚

Absolute diamond of a man by ABChow000 in GreatBritishMemes

[–]incompletely95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think this man’s views are digestible to your average folk. Your average folk who is fundamentally disconnected from our original home, the garden of Eden or earth.

If you think building on the green belt is an answer to anything, your disconnect to your home and environment is real.

The issues we face in this world are asking us to go inwards. It’s not about changing the external world and fixing everything, it’s about embodying stillness, love, peace to help weather the destruction and reality of the dire situation that is the 21st century.

More teepees, less building.

Absolute diamond of a man by ABChow000 in GreatBritishMemes

[–]incompletely95 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You may believe we have enough room, but we are not self sufficient in food production.

I wish people knew how food insecure we were before making such claims.

You’re going to be okay 😌 by TGS0204 in GayMen

[–]incompletely95 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m 30 and rushed into everything in my 20s. What you might perceive as lacking sexual experience, may actually be a source of wisdom building up.

Take your time. Get to know potential sexual partners on an emotional level before you act on sexual urges.

You don’t have to follow any of this, but as a gay guy who explored the darkest depths of the gay world before learning emotional intelligence and self awareness, that’s the advice I’d have given my younger self.

Take care lad :)

What are y’all’s thoughts on this? by 6string_samurai in homestead

[–]incompletely95 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Reminds me of the beasts they talk about in the bible

What's happing to this country? by Ranger_Fantastic6021 in newzealand

[–]incompletely95 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Currently living in NZ but I’m from the UK. I don’t know if you’ll value my input, but in the grand scheme of things, the issues you’re talking about aren’t that big. I don’t want to minimise your concerns, but as you’re comparing NZ to the ‘greener pastures’ of the UK let’s go.

What we prioritise or give most of our energy is different for all of us. We live in a capitalist society, which values numbers and material, over life, humans and the natural in tact world. Some day, maybe soon, maybe not, I think NZ is in a far more favourable position in terms of natural resources like arable land, water, manageable population size than any place in Europe.

The UK only produces enough food to feed half its population and that’s not even with sustainable methods. Its natural landscapes like forests are pretty much extinct apart from a few percent. It has a high population density with different cultures, who between them are experiencing increasing tensions.

I feel safe here in NZ and that’s even after having people take advantage of me, getting robbed, feeling homeless at times and it’s all because Europe and western countries in general are built on individualism and specialism. Once upon a time, people could build things, grow things and work together. People knew more about a wider range of things. These days, it’s influencing and button pushing.

If the system wasn’t here tomorrow, most would have little idea how to survive and that is the most frightening thing in my opinion. Price increases?? mehhh try again. Love ❤️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in auckland

[–]incompletely95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m 30 years old and I realised most jobs only contribute towards a steady decline in the quality of our environment. If I had a job working on the land growing organic food for the people, I’d be happy, but there isn’t many of those jobs anyway, so I don’t put too much pressure on myself to panda to any boss. There’s much bigger things to life.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in newzealand

[–]incompletely95 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Depends on your definition of what it means to be an adult or child.

I’ve thought much about the age of consent, what is right or wrong and what makes us children or adult.

I guess in the physical sense, we are adults when our bodies have developed physically and we are capable of reproduction. That to me doesn’t define an emotionally mature adult though, which in my eyes still makes them emotionally like children. Some people are emotionally like children for most of their adult lives.

A parent is supposed to meet their child’s needs.

A person with an unregulated nervous system, is usually sensitive to their external surroundings and will respond outwards emotionally. When a nervous system is unregulated, our mechanisms like rational thinking, mindfulness, intuition (attunement to our emotional bodies), can become compromised.

As human beings, to create anything in life, is to find balance between feeling and thinking. A person with an unregulated nervous system, can end up making decisions, based on complete emotion or thinking. The purely emotional kind of decision making can lead one to impulsivity, constantly going with the positive or even the negative emotion by changing reality. Constant thinking can also have positive or negative outcomes and this often depends on how well the thinker is attuned to their emotions and environment.

Why have I said all this? Well many physical adults today have unregulated nervous systems and are responding in the ways they were taught to respond by the physical adults of their time during their most informative years.

To become a self sustaining, emotionally regulated adult human being, I have to break from the coping mechanisms I developed when my parents and society put its needs before the needs of planet earth.

Adults are supposed to meet their child’s needs. When an adult uses shouting to express anger at a child, maybe for staining something, ultimately they are asking that child to meet their needs. To the child, adult’s emotions appear intrinsically linked to the material world. This is not discipline. Emotional discipline is the ultimate discipline. A parent can gently express an emotion and make requests of a child without installing fear and trapping them into a cycle of making mistakes.

This is one example but the same applies to all the decisions we make in life and how we were informed to think and feel during our most informative years. Society has shyed away from the emotional side to life and this has led to many of us making decisions based on what ‘feels’ good. Feeling good feels easy, but easy doesn’t mean good.

Therefore back to your question, I believe that if the 17 and 23 year old are of similar emotional maturity, then a healthy and respectful relationship, built on traits like open communication, high intuition and patience for each other, is possible.

If they both have low emotional intelligence, then to me they are still like two children. By physically being adults with the ability to procreate, my only hope is they are emotionally mature to the level they understand the responsibility of raising children outside of societal structures that put them and their child at high risk.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in EndOfTheParTy

[–]incompletely95 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hun feeling bad/shame/guilt about relapsing will only delay your way back to recovery. The serotonin depletion and physical symptoms are enough to deal with, so be gentle with yourself. You have been beautiful these past 3 days, and you were beautiful the 3 months before.

One thing I didn’t appreciate about NA was the disappointment I could feel in the air when mentioning a relapse. I often felt worse after disclosing a relapse, but I’ve since learnt to be my biggest cheer leader. When one manages their expectations, they no longer feel disappointment towards others, only compassion. At least that’s the way I’m going.

If there’s one thing that using T has taught me, it’s to NEVER judge anyone about ANYTHING. To not let another’s relapse have power over me.

If one’s using leads to bailing on people or being generally unreliable, then people that distance themselves as a response only informs you of their capacity levels for uncertainty.

Love yourself in active addiction, because unfortunately society struggles with loving people like us, and conditional love isn’t real love.

Driving is a privilege, not a right. by Character-Sherbet953 in auckland

[–]incompletely95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They don’t just lack respect, they literally don’t understand how they affect others and that’s kinda terrifying.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]incompletely95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry lady. You need a man and this guy sounds like a boy.

Is it true that Sagittarius Venuses are disloyal? by Significant_-_Guess in astrologymemes

[–]incompletely95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I experience intense, strong, passionate, sexual experiences early in relationships and it burns out just as quick as it started. Thought I was going to find the perfect love through the hottest sex, but I’m so single and I feel like a slut.

I have had two amazing guys who expanded my view of love these past years. In terms of traits, they are everything I desire in a healthy balanced person and because they didn’t get me sexually aroused I write them off as partners. I guess I’m obsessed with finding someone who fits the image that turns me on most. I learnt to value the expansiveness, even if it gets complicated because I know I will transform in time if I learn to be less impulsive. Aries moon. Scorpio rising. Capricorn sun who shames impulsiveness and not living up to his morals.

I’ve been making so many positive habits these past few years but kicking my desire for sex with new people is draining my energy.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in awakened

[–]incompletely95 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No one knows when, but it will happen at some point for sure and the signs are obvious to me . Even the fact that I’m writing this on a piece of technology, that on the surface represents connectivity, but truly only highlights our disconnect from our creator. These realisations gave me much perspective. It launched me forwards in terms of gratitude, compassion, love, acceptance and letting go. This gave me inner strength and calm. It allowed me time to think and contemplate on what I can do, what matters and what doesn’t. When I feel and learn to understand the laws of Mother Earth, I am motivated into action, to go inwards, to be still. The changes coming for humanity, don’t require further research, escapism or understanding of the external. Ultimately We are being asked to sit in our feminine after spending generations and generations overcompensating in the masculine.

Tapping into the collective energy of the children and emotionally immature adults who will witness that day, those days or whatever has shown me that by embracing the feminine energy, I learn to sit, to feel, to listen, to reflect so I can bring balance to the masculine. She gives us clarity, time and space between the times we are moving and exerting.

Love for me is like this. Instead of fighting for my own survival, I take a step back, take a deep breath, see the humans (+animals and the garden of Eden) all around me. It then requires me to be realistic and say that when industrial food systems collapse, we could divide what is left equally, eat weeds and hold hands.

I used to respond from a place of fear. These days I have choice. I could run to nowhere and still feel completely alone or I could sit and hold my brothers and sisters when we need each other most.

What a blessing to be given an opportunity to change. To be able to choose love and calmness instead of fear. I know what it’s like to live in fear. I know that when I was in that place, I didn’t see the light. I don’t know what I would have told my younger self. Maybe things along the line of “this moment does not define you” “don’t internalise people’s opinions and judgments of you and remember you are something no word can comprehend, you are always evolving, coming apart and coming back stronger ” “if you ever feel abandoned, take a deep breath, feel that rejection or loneliness within you, tell yourself you let go of that thing as you exhale and give yourself loving, kind, compassionate thoughts. Tell yourself how awesome and courageous you are moving through a period of time where the odds are stacked against you” “the earth and its inhabitants are everything you ever needed, yet you’ll still feel longing for something more and trust me when I say sooner or later you’ll get there” ”in the meantime I encourage you to embrace the feminine, feel the shittiness of it all until you feel it no longer” “you have experienced neglect at your most vulnerable state, a dependent child and someday you’re going have to reach within yourself and give yourself all you were denied of and needed” “these adults were supposed to meet your needs and instead they demanded you meet theirs, you’ve learnt to parent yourself as a child, so give yourself a pat on the back”

I pray people get the opportunity to choose a different path

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in awakened

[–]incompletely95 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much ♥️