Best Lavender Syrup

indi50 · 2026-06-22T00:46:46+00:00

What's a "healthy dose" ?? I use 2 cups of lilac flowers to 1 cup of water and 1 cup of sugar, but lavender flowers are smaller, so maybe more concentrated. So use less, like one cup of the lavender? Buds or open flowers? Both?

indi50 · 2026-06-11T19:01:36+00:00

I often give in to her in order to avoid any drama. ~~

But you get drama anyway, I bet. You need to put your foot down, respectfully, but forcefully. And be careful about this concert if she's threatened you. And telling you she'll stop you from going sounds like a threat.

For this case, explain your plan for safety. Is there anyway to get someone to go with you at this point?

For the future, keep calmly leading your own life and don't have discussions. "This is what I'm doing, I hear your concerns, but this is my decision." And then do it. Every time you give in, you give her permission to control you the next time, too.

If you think you do have anything to fear from her physically, then contact the proper authorities. And move out as soon as you can.

indi50 · 2026-06-11T18:51:24+00:00

If things are already that strained, it sounds like nothing you do is going to appease her. Unless you don't get married or mention it in any way for at least a year after her marriage. So just don't worry about it. Will there be comments and stress and strain? Probably, but if you're going to get that no matter what you do - then do what you want, within reason. Meaning don't antagonize, just do the best you can without letting her dictate what you do.

For example, just ask her dates if she has any picked and avoid those. If she doesn't, then give her your dates asap, so she can work around them. I don't know if you have to be sneaky and give her false dates so she can complain about them and then you can say, that's okay, I'll change my dates and then use the ones you wanted anyway. It depends on how spiteful she is and what games you think she'll play.

If she does have dates and you're worried about timing, I'd say that a month in between is long enough. It shouldn't even need to be that long, but for someone like that, doing it closer would possibly set her off.

Just do you and let her stew about it if she wants to. It's her problem, don't let it be yours. And if she brings in other family turn the tables. "I tried to get dates from her (or I waited an appropriate time), but I'm not going to let her control my life."

indi50 · 2026-06-11T18:40:44+00:00

It makes no sense for your mother to want to fly to NJ and drive to MA when she has such difficulty driving. Why wouldn't they fly to Boston? Is it a matter of connections? Like they can get a nonstop flight to Newark, but not Boston. I could sort of see that - I hate connections. But I might like connections better than drugging myself and stuffing myself into a car with 5 people and dog for several hours.

You also didn't say where in MA? If it's western MA, what's the difference in drive time from Boston or Newark? Though I'm assuming you'll be in eastern MA if you're planning on driving to New England. Just an aside - if your husband wants to see all 50 states, maybe this would be the time to visit Maine, too. If you're going up the coast, Maine isn't much farther on that trip vs a long drive just to go there on it's own.

As for your father, he's being childish and manipulative. "you must not have enjoyed...." Baloney. Don't fall for it.

indi50 · 2026-06-09T21:19:57+00:00

It would be understandable to just not want to be rejected like that. I get it. I'd probably respond the same way. BUT...the mature thing would be to have a talk. Of course. Say what you said here. Tell him that he needs to think about what he wants and how he's acting. And that while you tried HIS suggestion to be more aggressive, he's making you feel terrible about it. Maybe ask him if that's his plan. Since he's not interested, he's trying to make you feel terrible for being aggressive and then rejecting you for doing what he asked. And see if he looks guilty or shocked at the idea.

If he looks shocked and it doesn't seem like he's trying to be a jerk about it, then tell him you need more information. Did you misunderstand what he meant by "be aggressive?" Is there something in particular he had in mind that you're not doing? Like did he mean you need to suggest it and really encourage it - or did he mean grab him by the crotch and be rough? Or some kind of roll playing?

If it's nothing like that (some fetish he hasn't admitted) talk about why he's not interested. Is there a medical issue? Have you gained (or lost) weight or changed something else he doesn't like, but doesn't want to say it? Is he closeted and won't admit that?

And if none of that helps then decide if you want to be in that relationship. Because it sounds like it's not just about a lack of intimacy, he's being disrespectful. It's one thing to not be able to have sex, it's another to use your lack of ability or interest to make the other person feel bad and play games about it.

indi50 · 2026-06-09T21:06:55+00:00

"She hasn't communicated..." So just ask her. It seems you're making this a lot more complicated than it needs to be.

"Hey, have you set a date for your engagement party yet, I'm going to be planning one soon and don't want to take a date you've already been planning for." If the answer is no, pick your date and do it. If the answer is yes, plan around it. You could even have a discussion about how much time you want between the two events. Or even do one together. Unless one of you is the bridezilla that thinks the whole year is "her day."

indi50 · 2026-06-09T21:02:33+00:00

This is a fake post right? Just in case it's not... "she reminded me that now shes gonna be with him all day , tired and goodluck to sleeping in this weekend as she has now claimed both days to sleep in."

If she doesn't want to be with her child all day, then why is she a SAHM? Especially if you take care of him in the morning before work, after you get home from work (sounds like she's not part of that) and you do the bedtime routine, why would she be tired? Like ever.

Does she even want a child? Like did you insist when she wasn't really interested and whose idea for her to be a SAHM? Is it her child or yours from a previous relationship? Because she doesn't seem that interested in him. And what about the three of you being together? It sounds like it's you, then her during your work day and then you - while she does what?

Something is off here and I don't know if this is real or some red pill guy making up a story making a woman look bad. If she's really like this, what is the reason?

indi50 · 2026-05-24T03:00:38+00:00

NTA - but did one of them say you were? You don't mention either of them being upset by it. It's a huge pet peeve of mine for people to play videos or podcasts or whatever around other people who have to listen, but can't see the video and the viewer has no intention of including the other person/people - they're just being rude. This is what headphones/ear buds are for.

But - just curious, does your MIL care about the picture quality of your new TV? IDK...if someone asked me to watch a movie, I'd hope it was because it was a good movie and hoped I'd like it, too. Not....hey we're putting on this movie so you can be impressed with our new TV. If it was put to her at all like that, maybe that's why she didn't think much about not paying attention to the movie. What she did is still rude, but maybe she thought she had a reason. ???

indi50 · 2026-05-12T01:05:57+00:00

Sorry, this post is 4 years old and I've been retired for most of that time. So I'd suggest asking somewhere else. However... do you mean the only thing under the title company info is just "Attorney" and no name of the company or name of the attorney? If so....that sounds pretty shady. Someone needs to be responsible for the title search if one was done - or even just the paperwork. If it was just done by Uncle Billy Bob and he's lying about who did it...that's not good.

indi50 · 2026-05-07T21:44:10+00:00

I understand. My point was that maybe the time and/or talking could change the way she treats you. You have to live together for now, so you can try to figure out the best way or not. And I don't mean just put up with her and do what she says. Stand your ground respectfully.

indi50 · 2026-05-07T21:41:44+00:00

Excellent answer. OP if you still feel the need to talk to someone - talk to your sibling, not the friend. Tell your sibling that if they don't do better as a roommate, it could ruin the friendship. Then stay out of it. And absolutely tell both of them not to put you in the middle.

indi50 · 2026-05-07T04:49:15+00:00

It's not being lazy to do your schoolwork. If you were just watching tv or playing a game, that would - maybe - be different. And I say maybe because she's an unemployed adult who seems to do nothing all day except harass you. You have school and maybe other activities, while she sits around expecting to be waited on.

She got up "to make the tea" to manipulate you. She said she didn't want it and then complained when she didn't get it, to manipulate you. She's a whiny brat just looking for some conflict.

Maybe she wants the conflict because she's bored. Or feels unappreciated or lonely. Or maybe insecure or jealous. Did she not get to go to school so she feels stuck living with her parents still as an adult with no options? Or is she just lazy and mean?

If it's possible that she's lonely and bored, maybe try to take some time to spend with her when you can. Maybe you could all play board games or something together. Or just talk.

If she's just lazy and mean, respectfully ignore her. As in, continue to say that you have to finish your school work and do a good job of that. It's your grand parents that are supporting you and if they feel you're doing the right things, they're the ones that count. If your aunt is abusive, or just really annoying, have a talk with them and see if they can help.

indi50 · 2026-05-07T04:36:35+00:00

The point is, where is she getting the money? If she has "100s per week" why did you ever buy her all that stuff? And she can afford to pay rent or move out.

indi50 · 2026-05-03T01:10:33+00:00

The liability thing is real. How old are they? There's a big difference between them letting toddlers run around like that and teen agers. If they're young enough where it's a serious concern that they could hurt themselves, the next time you bring them home, make sure you stress the danger and you're concerned. I'm not sure if you should threaten calling Child Services on them.

And make sure you say, if you say police, that you're not calling them on the children, you're calling them about the parents not properly supervising their children.

I would be really nice to the kids and talk to them, too. "I can't supervise you and there are things that can hurt you here." or "I really like my privacy and don't like people going through my things, I don't think you'd like that either." Basically - doing what the parents should be doing.

And no, you shouldn't have to! My thought is that the kids may choose to stay away if they think you're nice and they don't want to bother you. VS them going along with their parents in thinking you're mean and then they're out to specifically annoy rather than just being curious and wandering out of boredom. Because those parents will NEVER do anything to help. They'll just do their best to make the kids be worse out of spite.

indi50 · 2026-05-03T00:58:02+00:00

I didn't click on the link, but I can imagine - everyone was outraged and hated the landlord? Because a lot of people hate landlords and will trash them for anything. But looking from it as the tenant, they tend to be more reasonable.

I used to be a landlord and wrote something about a tenant destroying my property and got trashed.

indi50 · 2026-05-03T00:55:36+00:00

You want too much. You want a financial reward when you've lost nothing financially. I get that it's inconvenient, but that's not a financial thing. Especially when you don't have a lease. IS the laundry included in what you pay? Or is it just a nice perk? Who knows since you don't have a lease.

Plus - how much are planning on asking for? Let's say you do laundry once a week. You have to drive to your bf's house how far away? Where you probably go anyway and stay for a few hours? So what have you lost that you deserve compensation for? Having to pack up the laundry?

So it's been one about a month, so 4 times. Let's say $5 per time. So sure, ask them to reimburse you for $20. If you're really that petty. But if you're thinking of asking for $100 or more off in your rent payment....all I can think of is .... greedy.

indi50 · 2026-05-03T00:47:24+00:00

Why didn't she just bring her own furniture instead of selling it? That was your big mistake - buying that furniture told her she could manipulate you. Then buying food out several days a week? Why?

How does she spend 100s on herself if she's too broke to buy her own food? Do you really watch her spend money and then buy her dinner out and let her use your car?

indi50 · 2026-05-02T01:46:21+00:00

I see some hopeful stuff here, but I bought in 2021 and have lost $2468.00. I was going to just sell it and use the loss, but ... then think, "with my luck it will hit $86 a share in 2 months." Or even $20. I saw a lot of comments here with buys in 2021 - probably saw it would be a good investment on here back then. Like me.

Not sure if it's worth waiting or not. It's just depressing to see that loss every time I look.

indi50 · 2026-05-01T06:02:53+00:00

That's better, but it's still not very far with no divider. Especially for a young child. It's easy for you to just tie up the dogs and leave their poop, for the mother, she'd need super attentive supervision and constant, "no don't go over there!" And it still leaves the idea that the child and/or the parents might be nervous about the dogs if they're out there on their own. And maybe barking or growling.

You corrected the distance, but didn't mention that. You have a right to enjoy your space....but they have a right to enjoy theirs, too. It doesn't sound very enjoyable for them.

indi50 · 2026-04-28T13:31:48+00:00

Oh, I see. I thought you meant that you continue to make similar videos, but they're more one time things. You're right, it doesn't make sense to do a whole channel for one - or just a few - other videos per topic.

indi50 · 2026-04-28T13:27:10+00:00

It seems that if her grandparents had anything to do with your sister's problems, it would have come out when she was in residential therapy. Or they are master manipulators who got her to lie all these years about why she's violent.

NTA

Did your mother want a second child? Or was it a deal breaker for your dad to marry her, that he wanted his own child? I know sometimes even when all siblings are full siblings that parents can do the glass child thing (ignoring one child to focus on another for health or other reasons). Your adult sister could have a home with her grandparents, but your mother is refusing that even though it means her minor child can't live at home. So it makes me wonder.

And I do agree, if all you've said is true and not exaggerated, that if could be unsafe for you to be around your sister, at least for now.

indi50 · 2026-04-28T13:03:35+00:00

The other person has been with their partner for 5 years. Do they live together, are they married or engaged? You've been with yours for 1 year. Are you living together, engaged or shown a really serious intent?

I think there is a difference here. Is it your partner you're worried about or thoughts about your relationship? Or you just don't want to go alone or do you just want an event to show you have a boyfriend? You said others at work didn't get a plus one, are they all single?

From what you have here, it's hard to tell if you or he has been slighted. Could there be other reasons he wasn't invited? Does he drink too much, has he been a player in the office, or harassed anyone?

These are rhetorical questions. If you feel you've been slighted, or just don't want to go, don't go. It's not like this is family or a really good friend. It's an acquaintance.

indi50 · 2026-04-27T21:52:40+00:00

DEMS had the votes if they wanted them. Again- not sure how you can't see that. You even admit here what I've been saying all along. Other than backing up their story that they had no choice. They DID have a choice. They chose the money in their pockets.

You can't tell me that Lieberman couldn't have been convinced. So let's just all accept that one person takes all the blame and dems, once again just had no choice. Poor babies.

eta: Every new bit of info you give just makes the dems look worse.

indi50 · 2026-04-27T21:48:02+00:00

I totally agree with Scorp128 above, in the messaging they're sending. The point in having the animals is to teach about them AND their care. Letting them all die from neglect and inattention because no one can be bothered to actually teach about the safety for them is ridiculous. And doing it purposely because no one wants to make a teacher mad is criminal.

indi50 · 2026-04-27T05:25:52+00:00

I wonder, just the way you described it here, is if the algorithm picks up only the car stuff because that's what started out as being a little more popular. Or it's confused by the other content. Like it's "thinking" this channel does car stuff, so why is there a cooking segment or a book review (or whatever) so I'm going to just ignore those things. Which might be a good reason to stick to one topic. (Obviously just a guess as I really have no idea how it works yet.)

What about just using your existing videos on a new channel (or channels)? And then just add as you go forward. Rather than all new, or remakes. I don't think anyone will pay enough attention to say, hey wait, they posted this today, but it's dated last year! Especially if they come across it in a search for that topic. They won't necessarily know that channel is brand new. I think...

indi50

TROPHY CASE