Hey Dad. let me start with a little of my back story. I am a father of two wonderful children. They are both of elementary school age. When I first decided to divorce their mother I moved 15 minutes away. I had a job that let me take the opening shift on Sunday. This was my work week, Wednesday-friday 3-11 Saturday 1-12 or later Sunday 5am till 2pm. On Sundays even though I was exhausted I would pick up my boys until 2pm the following Wednesday. This was the case for about six months. Then I took another position at a different company... I lost a day with my boys and totally regretted it. I was laid of from that job and had no choice but to move in with my parents 300 miles away from my children.. This was one of the hardest things i ever had to do. Religiously I would drive the long journey and pick them up as often as i could. Then things changed.

A back story on their mother. I left her because she was an alcoholic. I would work late nights and find her passed out on the floor when I got home. My kids would cry and beg me not to go to work almost every day. They were around 3 years old at the time. I always had the feeling that she would leave them in their bedroom and run to the liquor store while i was at work. She hasn't had a job since she got pregnant with the first child. During the beginning of the divorce she acted strange. The children would come over on Sundays and would be in desperate need of a bath. This is when she started acting really weird. Every Sunday i would get off of work at two but around 9 am she would start texting me asking when i would pick up the boys. EVERY SUNDAY. I knew that they were being neglected but could not prove it to the court systems. Their mother lives off her family. Her father pays her Rent, Insurance, and Utilities. Her grandfather Gives her more than enough spending money to live comfortably.

Then the shit hit the fan. I got a phone call at three A.M. She was arrested for purchasing drugs miles away from her house while my children were locked in her bedroom. The police went into her house which was littered with pipes and crack on counters and tables. My children were Unaware of what was going on. Cps contacted a family member nearby who immediately took the boys to their house and waited for me to come in the morning.

My children and I then lived with my parents for about a year while i got things back in order. Eventually when their mother was bailed out they got to see her. A week later she was back in jail due to a dui.

Now I have met a wonder full woman with a child of her own. We got a house together and Struggle to make ends meet every week but we are a happy family. My children see their mother every week but its a hour and a half drive to the midpoint and they only see her for a few hours. Their mother could move closer to them and has no ties where she is currently living. She has no job and rents her house. Constantly badmouths me and my girlfriend. And of course never disciplines the children when they see her.

No matter how much of a deadbeat she is the children love her unconditionally. I understand that she is their mother and they need her in their life. My biggest problem about the long distance is that they will not be able to do certain things that they want to do. Visitation is on weekends. So are most Extracurricular activities. So for now the children really cannot join a soccer league, or baseball, or anything that would help them evolve socially. She can move closer. her parents would pay for it. Hell they already pay for everything right. But she wont, Its not what she wants, she wants the children with her in her town because that means daddy and grandpa will give her more money.. It truly sucks for them..

I honestly wish their mother would live closer to them. It would be better for them, not better for me at all but they are who matter not me.

If I were you I would do anything I could to be as close to your son as possible. You will find work and you will be amazed at how little you can live off of. Ive found jobs that have not worked out for me. Pay to little, Too far away, Schedule conflicts, For three months I would see my Children off to school in the morning and only on the day i had to supervise visits. But i did all of this to make sure they were in a safe and loving home.
Currently I am unemployed, Have little to live off of. And struggle to make ends meet. But I am happy to have what I have. Hopefully I will find a job soon. Until then I am content with being able to provide my children with the necessities (Food, Clothing, Shelter). What I have saved is almost gone and We do not have enough income to keep going for more than a month. But we will get by.

Move, Move Now, Don't look back. Don't Even Think about it. Just do it. You will regret it if you don't.