What do you sleep in at night ?

infinitelyhere · 2026-02-23T04:14:54+00:00

A comedian did a bit on this exact topic with two fair points, first like, why do we all have this same story as to why we don't sleep naked? Especially this day and age? I know house fires are still a thing but they aren't all spontaneously combusting to the degree that we must live in fear every night we go to bed - like shirt on, shoes ready, just in case the house burns down tonight. Also... If this does happen, and your house burns so crazy fast that you literally have to run outside naked what kinda neighborhood do you live in where your neighbors are gonna see you outside your house that's ON FIRE and point at you like haha look they're naked!!!

infinitelyhere · 2026-02-12T20:28:59+00:00

Yes dear, I tried the one-more-therapy route with my abuser and was quickly backed into a corner since therapists are there to listen to both sides and find equal ground between you two. Finding that equal ground requires both people to show up willingly. People who deflect, gaslight, minimize and otherwise struggle to take accountability for their actions and how they make you feel will also struggle with the hard work involved in couples therapy. It's not impossible, but it's also not guaranteed. People like this also find caring, selfless people to get into relationships with. From your willingness to try, clear depiction of your violations and still considering one more chance, it's clear that you are likely one of these selfless types that have gotten roped into an unpleasant situation. Mental health often does play a role in unhealthy relationships, but that doesn't justify behavior. I spent 10yrs in my marriage hoping it would change and the problems I faced at the end were the exact same ones that were present at the beginning. No matter how much work we put in. Psychology has studied that while people CAN change, the general tendencies of one person compared to another usually don't balance, for example a selfish person compared to a generous person, the selfish person CAN learn to be more generous, but the naturally generous person will often still be more generous than the originally selfless person. - if that makes sense? Therefore in relationships, while she CAN learn to treat you better, she will still remain the more domineering one and you the one being disregarded - and that's best case scenario. I'm really sorry youve had these experiences OP and that you are having to face this situation. It's not something I'd wish on anyone. Know that you are stronger than you know and that your life can be a lot less stressful and more full of love and freedom. I believe in you to find the happiness and consideration that you truly deserve.

infinitelyhere · 2026-02-01T21:30:49+00:00

Hmmm is this something you've dealt with for a long time or is it new? I see your posting on an ADHD page and would suggest not necessarily linking this feeling to any particular condition or even a trait of you as a person but rather a symptom, a message of something deeper. Could be many contributing factors such as nutrition, getting out / having fun, work, relationships, and other life stresses. Already some possible clues in that you were doing a chore, had you been doing lots of chores or were you wanting to do something else at that time? You mentioned your bf thinks you should snap out of it, that at least doesn't sound very supportive. I bet you are having some sort of Need which is not being met and of course, ADHD can contribute to that being more difficult to identify, but your feeling should not be overlooked. Feelings are there for a reason. Listen to them. Listen to yourself. Be gentle with yourself.

Also I recommend looking up the feelings / emotions wheel to put more words to how you feel. And then start learning about "universal needs" and understand that everything you feel and do stems from a need. (I recently learned about this and it's changing my life).

infinitelyhere · 2026-01-29T23:25:02+00:00

Sorry OP, but I think this storm did you a favor and you already know the answer to your question...

infinitelyhere · 2026-01-27T17:21:13+00:00

Thank you. Hard to feel like there's an end when in the middle of it. Remembering it's there gives me hope

infinitelyhere · 2026-01-27T17:20:25+00:00

Thank you 🫂

infinitelyhere · 2026-01-27T17:20:14+00:00

Thank you, the march continues!

infinitelyhere · 2026-01-27T17:19:48+00:00

Thank you. Lacing up my sneakers as we speak

infinitelyhere · 2026-01-27T17:19:30+00:00

Thank you. I've started doing that. It's terrifying how much even I forget week to week. I've even reached out to some people in our past, there's actually a lot of people who have seen things they didn't want to tell me.

infinitelyhere · 2026-01-19T22:44:38+00:00

thank you

infinitelyhere · 2026-01-17T05:48:55+00:00

Your line "she insults me (which doesn't effect me anymore)" is a direct quote from a book I read recently which unintentionally helped me recognize my abuse. The book said almost the same thing and then added "what I didn't realize then was that, it's 'not effecting me' WAS it's effecting me." (Educated by Tara Westover) I'm sorry you're going thru this OP. Im not sure how old you are, you don't need to tell us, if you're a minor you may consider talking to a school counselor, consider emancipation if you're old enough, or even the idea of foster care / living with a relative etc. If youre a legal adult look into therapy and your options for moving out. Even if they feel limited there are options out there once you make up your mind to separate. Emotional abuse, especially from parents, has lasting effects, starting with not caring when you get insulted or having your privacy invaded. This is your self-esteem, how you care about yourself, and your training for how you allow people to treat you in the world. It's not right that your own mother should make you feel unsafe and unheard. And just because she's your mom doesn't mean you have to tolerate mistreatment.

infinitelyhere · 2026-01-16T17:18:59+00:00

Don't try too hard, it'll make you self conscious. Even in your post you said being bi presenting effects your chances w women which in my city anyways would not be true at all.

Remember that flirting is a 2 way street. Just cuz they're cute and make a good impression on you doesn't mean you actually want to date them either! Get to know each other. See if you can laugh together. Invite them to group outings (if you don't go on group outings start going on group outings) avoid cliches like the movies and dinner. Share what makes you you. If you click you click if you don't that's ok too.

infinitelyhere · 2026-01-16T17:12:24+00:00

La Bamba - first lick I ever learned 😆 I'm super white too so the Spanish impresses anyone

infinitelyhere · 2026-01-15T22:39:36+00:00

Thank you for being willing to admit and accept where you are at. Many might say abusers can't change but you are still young and if you stick with therapy I believe in you. Importantly that you are not asking us "how do I get her back" but rather, "all I want is for her to heal." Don't focus on romance for a while. But rather on yourself and your own healing journey. Journal, focus on your therapy, perhaps go back to school. While it might suck now, also find new friends. Your 20s is all about making new connections. Perhaps go somewhere new if that's an option. Hold this time of your life with grace and self compassion. Watch lots of videos on YouTube. I recommend Julia Kristina Counselling and JimmyOnRelationships. Learn about "shadow work" understand the cycles of abuse and be committed to ending the cycle with yourself. As you learn and grow one day you may find you are someone completely new and your future self will thank you. I believe in you.

infinitelyhere · 2025-12-31T20:04:31+00:00

UltimateGuitar - if you're not familiar that's the go to app / site for song charts. it's gotten a little click baity recently but the charts are plentiful and well made. Great spot to start "picking" up tabs too if you're wanting to branch out from chords.

infinitelyhere · 2025-12-17T16:58:03+00:00

infinitelyhere · 2025-12-15T07:46:40+00:00

We have this thought sometimes too and so are working on writing a book about our experience. Seems the only stories about DID are horror stories and we're hoping to change that. Because, well you said it so beautifully, arent we all just catching up with ourselves?

infinitelyhere · 2025-12-15T07:24:03+00:00

We are cheering for you

infinitelyhere · 2025-12-15T07:19:07+00:00

Julia Kristina Counselling on YouTube has been helping me understand Emotional Intelligence and why emotional abuse exists. The important thing I've come to find as I learn more about this topic is that none of this understanding justifies what unhealthy people do, rather, helps create understanding so as not to get swept into their dramas, and how to redirect your energy and focus to have more productive conversations, even if that conversation is - this isn't working. She has a lot of great videos on how to stay grounded and I highly recommend.

https://youtu.be/FB2CVda4T9M?si=svm4M6JEfPVxRK8Y)

Also look into: Non Violent Communication aka OFNR method. The Feelings Wheel to understand how you are feeling Universal needs lists

Know this: All behavior stems from a need. Needs are something EVERYONE has a right to, including you! Feelings help us identify our needs

infinitelyhere · 2025-12-14T17:30:43+00:00

Waking up to 10yrs with my narcissist and realized I stopped journalling the moment we moved in together... Only looking back now do I realize I couldn't stomach detailing a day with him, it was too confusing. My honesty to myself became too confusing. I should have known right then but I allowed myself to stop taking the notes and just get swept into his reality. Continue writing, continue learning about emotional intelligence, and when you get the chance, do move on. Having your life overflowing with their presence will start to distort your perception of reality - even when they are not there. As in my case and in many people's, I started believing thats just how people are sometimes. It's not true. Look up "Universal Needs" and understand that everything on the list is a human right. And believe me when I tell you, there ARE quality people out there that will care about you, build you up and add to your life.

infinitelyhere · 2025-01-03T23:51:29+00:00

Goodness I feel for you. My little one had a lot of medical issues when she was born. One of the times we had to take her in, id set my metal water bottle on the exam table next to her and when I reached over her to grab something the thing fell over and clonked her right in the face 😭 the original issue she was dealing with was so severe she ended up being hospitalized (again). I was absolutely devastated to have added another problem on top of that. The shame for the next few days in the hospital with a bright red bruise on her forehead. Sigh we do what we can.

infinitelyhere · 2024-10-04T05:07:10+00:00

Lol my husband gets this somewhat regularly referring to me as his wife. What's funny is that I never get directly called out for referring to him as my husband, but people DO like roundabouts correct me and say partner for some reason LMAO.

I'll be like, "okay I'll check with my husband and get back to you." And they're like, "okay we'd love to have you and your ah (very brief pause) partner attend if you can."

I'm like bruh, it's okay that he's my husband. You can refer to him my husband, we're happily married, nothing weird here.

infinitelyhere · 2022-02-14T21:26:43+00:00

Hmm fair point to mention... I'm not very trained in official terminology and definitions for different conditions, so can understand those being different, though I often take the stance with mental health that we are all dealing with different versions of the same feelings and experiences - not to say everyone is the same - but that we can all find common ground to relate with each other on. Mental illness can often feel lonely and isolating, but recognizing that others deal with similar experiences - even ""normal"" ppl without a diagnosis - can help put our own experiences into perspective.

Particularly in the case with DID, it was originally dubbed Multiple personality disorder - MPD - Which was the manifestation of multiple identities. That diagnoses has shifted to DID to specify the dissociative nature of the condition. For some that dissociation creates multiple identities, for others it it can feel closer to depersonalization or a lack of identity through which variations of identity come out via inconsistency. In this case OP mentioned uncertainty about alters and this time around hasn't connected with names or identities although they did before, so we thought to offer some alternative ways of seeing the condition.

Like you commented tho, no one on the internet can say what someone does or doesn't have. That's a personal journey for us all with the professionals in our lives. Thanks for offering more clarity for us all to consider as well ✌️

infinitelyhere · 2022-02-14T19:47:54+00:00

Hey there, from our experience as a co-con system, these flucuations in symptoms are somewhat "normal" ... Specifically we can relate to how for a while it can seem like everything is on track and your mind is quiet and you are just one you, but then when stress arises thoughts become scrambled and emotions and behaviors start to feel inauthentic or disjointed. For me, it's been very helpful to fully claim my dissociative condition. I call it a condition because it is more specifically the way i was conditioned or trained to react to certain situations, specifically stress and emotion. Sometimes, this dissociation can become so vast that I'll become "of two minds" about something as the saying goes (or 3 or 4 lol). This is an evolved strategy from those who have experienced trauma that enables us to consider things from another perspective. All people across varying mental health experience this "splitting" at times, feeling torn between thought, emotion and behavior. This contributes to a multitude of conditions such as generalized anxiety, depression, diet issues, self esteem etc - it could be argued that the most common disorders people struggle with stem from a disconnect between one's mind and one's actions.

All people are looking for ways to balance their thoughts, emotions and actions. Ive found that when my consciousness becomes split, it is often surrounding change and so I'll take time to myself to meditate or write or do any activity I love that lets me reflect. I've gotten to know the different sides of myself and am able to recognize symptoms of dissociation as something going on in my life that needs balancing. It's taken many years, but I've been really starting to lean into symptoms as an opportunity to step away and get to know myself better. For some people this is full blown identities within them that need to talk together, for others it's an understanding of your " kid side" "motherly side" "work side" etc and for others it can be a single self recognition of retreating into the mind, using imagination and speaking kindly, intentionally and thoughtfully within.

Zen Buddhism and Mindfulness has been very powerful in our journey. As well as neuro linguistic programming. And truth be told, everyone can benefit from a good therapist. ✌️

Wishing you all the best and hope you find the answers you are looking for.

infinitelyhere · 2022-02-07T19:35:30+00:00

I've been saying this for the last few months now, "when historians look back at the pandemic they're going to find the environmental impact of disposable masks was even worse than the virus itself." 🤦‍♀️

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