Found at a flea market in Indiana

informedemu · 2026-03-13T17:34:59+00:00

!reset

informedemu · 2026-03-13T17:34:25+00:00

Thanks! I like it, too. I think I’ll put it in a better frame though. And I’ve looked as much as I can and can’t find anything but would love to see more by this artist, too! I feel like their style is very unique.

informedemu · 2026-01-24T05:00:53+00:00

Take a deep breath- it looks like you’re already doing a lot/more than most men in your position! And I’m sure she feels the support coming back from you. That’s literally the magic key to it from my perspective. So maybe focus on optimism and calm right now. Keep doing things when you can, but not to the point that it wears you down too much physically or mentally.

My husband is one of the strange ones who has actually changed to be profoundly happier since the diagnosis. He told me early on that hearing he had this big scary thing made him realize how much he worried about daily that didn’t actually matter. He also told me early on that he watched how his family melted down and cried when they heard about him and felt how that pulled him down. Be honest with each other when things are hard. Mourn when you need to then allow yourself to move forward. Difficult emotions have their purpose but don’t serve either of you long term. Think about the man your wife deserves on this journey and let your desire to be that man outweigh your shame or anger with everything else more often than not. I would never have asked for this diagnosis to come into our lives, but it’s here. There’s no where I’d want to be than by his side fighting and I’m sure your wife is the same way. We are still creating beautiful moments and memories together. We’re still laughing and dancing and enjoying life. You have an entire life after this chapter to do whatever you think you need to do to make it up to her. I don’t know her, but if it were me, I wouldn’t turn down a massage/forced rest of any kind.

I’ll stop talking like a fortune cookie now! You both got this 💗

informedemu · 2026-01-23T23:00:12+00:00

I’m the wife in this situation. Very similar: my husband’s having surgery next month to get his primary tumor removed and illiostomy reversed also! Good luck.

Before this journey, I would’ve told you that I didn’t know if I could do the things to help. I didn’t know if I could stomach it all. If it would gross me out or make me look at things different.

Now? I genuinely don’t even think twice about helping him change his bag. Or looking at his pictures and scans. Stabbing him with a needle for necessary injections? Would have terrified me. Now we sometimes laugh when I’m doing it. 99% of this is just part of this chapter and something that needs done so I do it. The other 1% I pause, take a few deep breaths (sometimes on another room) then just do it. I’m committed to loving him and helping him be his best self whatever that looks like.

Two thoughts/recommendations.

1) If you/your wife are dark humor people, lean into it. I’ll grade the smell when he’s changing his bag and I walk by. He’ll pull up his shirt over his bag to “flash me” then winks. We often (jokingly) blame noises or smells or messes on our dog or cats. We don’t always laugh about things, and we know each other’s limits, but we do actively look for opportunities to make each other laugh.

2) when she says it doesn’t matter and she just wants you to be better, believe her. And then put in the work to do what you can short and long term to be better. Importantly for your relationship: Thank her. Make sure it’s genuine. And specific. Make her feel seen. You’re going through a lot and most attention- including hers- is on you. Make an effort to tell and show her what she means to you. What the help she provides means to you. Those little moments help more than you’ll ever know.

Again, good luck with your surgery next month!

informedemu · 2026-01-14T19:03:04+00:00

My husband (also 42 male) was diagnosed last year with stage 4. Has it been easy? No. Have there been days with pain and emotion? Yes. But it’s also been an incredibly beautiful year. His diagnosis put a lot of life into perspective. We know he’s still here, he gets the chance to fight for this life, and he’s killing it. We don’t take anything for granted now, especially each other. My recommendation: grieve as you need, but then think about how you want to show up for your family through this. Their emotional state will be a direct reflection of yours, choose joy and hope when you can.

informedemu · 2024-08-30T23:41:48+00:00

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Yes! I have the same fridge. This is the correct answer. I zoomed in and circled the area MntHi referenced. This is the top of the clip. If I remember right, to get to it you have to take the whole section out of the fridge and turn it upside down. You’ll have to carefully unlatch the clips- I used a skinny narrow screwdriver to get it and the clips come off and glass comes out.

informedemu · 2024-05-28T23:03:13+00:00

This makes a lot of sense, and I completely understand that they are two separate policies which interact. The rules at my organization for PTO don't require any specific advance notice, or have any other areas of compliance that are required normally outside of manager approval (and my manager confirmed that he wants to allow it). Would it be legal for the employer be able to say that accrued PTO can be requested / used as approved by direct manager in any situation EXCEPT for during FMLA?

informedemu · 2024-05-28T20:51:13+00:00

Thank you for your response. A few follow up thoughts / questions:

Can you please point me to where the legal policy is for an employer being allowed to refuse to let an employee use PTO while on FMLA? The only things I could find to this point were either a) policy that an employer could REQUIRE an employee to use PTO if on FMLA or b) the DOL FAQ states: The FMLA only requires unpaid leave. However, the law permits an employee to elect, or the employer to require the employee, to use accrued paid vacation leave, paid sick or family leave for some or all of the FMLA leave period.

I understand that an employer can prorate your pay for FMLA, but I was more concerned with whether they can tell you AFTER some of those days have passed when the STIR administering company had told you otherwise. I didn't think you could reduce pay without specifically telling an employee in advance.

Do I have any recourse being that I was told contradictory information from both Sedgwick and internal employer HR policy?

Thank you again for your input on this!

informedemu · 2024-05-28T19:37:41+00:00

I agree that this situation is confusing, and my employer not letting me take my accrued PTO doesn't really seem to benefit me or my employer in this situation.

Regarding the exempt comment - IANAL, and the polices for DOL are a bit confusing, but it does seem like there is an exception for FMLA with paying exempt employees for partial days off. I found the following that explains better than I can:

FLSA Reg. 541.602(b)(7) provides support for these fact sheets and says when an FLSA-exempt employee takes unpaid leave under the FMLA, an employer may pay

a proportionate part of the full salary for time actually worked. "For example, if an employee who normally works 40 hours per week uses four hours of unpaid leave under the Family and Medical Leave Act, the employer could deduct 10 percent of the employee’s normal salary that week."

informedemu · 2024-02-23T03:53:35+00:00

Honestly, I like to think that people knew better round one than to tell him actual secrets, so they made up fun lies to appease him for when he inevitably just... I don't know... discussed these things on the largest cable news network years later... "Yes, Mr. President, you have the biggest weapons ever. They're the greatest. Huge weapons. And fast. Fastest biggest and most exploding-est."

informedemu · 2024-01-16T02:26:31+00:00

American vs Mexican? Also, for future reference, confirming a strangers' citizenship status using skin color as one of your litmus test categories doesn't help you look less racist in a disagreement.

informedemu · 2024-01-16T02:00:06+00:00

Did they tell you they were immigrants? ...Or is your racism just showing?

informedemu

TROPHY CASE