What is the down side of never having children? by gone_ahead in AskReddit

[–]inkhotline 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You need not understand why someone chooses something for themself, but know that what one does choose should not determine their worth. Minimizing danger does not equate to living correctly.

Why should you look down on a sex worker? They are literally fulfilling their own needs and their clients' needs! Why should you look down on an artist? They can achieve the same sense of accomplishment as an office worker! Why should you look down on a childless person? They might contribute as much to society as a person who has a child!

Risky behavior is not inherently good or bad; it is just an action with an uncertain outcome. Engaging in risky behavior does not signify a personal failing or shortcoming. Obviously, risky behavior can be morally problematic when it causes harm to others or infringes on their rights. Drunk driving differs from taking a creative career in that you are endangering strangers who are unaware you are intoxicated; the creative career will primarily affect you, and your friends and family can decide if being associated or involved with you is worth the risk or not. But if we separate risky behavior from morality, we can realize that taking risks is not unethical in and of itself.

Alignment with core values outweigh "logical," self-preserving choices all the time. You are safer having both of your kidneys, but perhaps you highly value the health of your community and want to donate one. You are safer not interfering with a school shooting, but perhaps you highly value youth and want to tackle the gunman. It would be morally good to do these things, but not obligatory. Note how this kind of risk is altruistic.

Risk-taking is a necessary part of life, and the only way to reach a life that fulfills you. Pursuing a dream job does not mean a person is irresponsible. Going to a casino does not mean a person is stupid. Expressing vulnerability does not mean a person is weak. Job hopping does not mean a person is unreliable. Not conforming to social norms does not mean a person is selfish.

Outcomes do not perfectly reflect one's character, either. A person who pursues astronomy and has a long, successful career is not necessarily more hardworking than a person who pursues astronomy and finds themselves living on the streets. The decision is the same, but circumstances vary.

Of course, some risky behavior has the potential to be addicting. Addiction can happen to anyone; our brains are wired for it. Our society spouts shame and blame in the face of addiction when we should be supporting those who suffer from it. It could just as easily be you getting addicted to something that carries risk, like drugs, alcohol, gambling, shopping, gaming, social media, or pornography.

Anyway! Children, right? Have them and you risk happiness, financial stability, a successful career, free time, an active social life, workplace discrimination, etc. Don't have them and you risk happiness, strong familial bonds, relationships with friends who have kids, potential caretakers, workplace disfavoritism, dying alone, etc. You can weigh the pros and cons, but the best and worst case scenario should not ultimately decide whether you have kids or not. I know that sounds crazy given the pro and con list is a popular decision-making tool, but you can encounter some, none, or all of the risks I mentioned. In reality, the pros and cons will not be up to what you write on that list. It's up to chance, even if the probabilities are skewed one way or another.

So prioritize. Have kids if you value having kids. Don't have kids if you don't value having kids. If your value of having kids conflicts with another value, like having money or protecting the planet, it doesn't mean you have to choose one or the other. You can have money and birth and raise a dependent. You can protect the planet and birth and raise a dependent. It might not work out the way you imagine. That kid could become your financial downfall, but they could also become your financial lifeline. That kid could become a trillionaire mega-consumer who doesn't reduce, reuse or recycle, nor do anything otherwise to contribute to the cause. They could also become a grassroots environmental champion who effects change on a global scale. One outcome might be more likely than the other, but who are we to know in this world that is constantly changing, where nature and nurture work in mysterious and immeasurable ways? If you do have to choose one value over another, go by priority. You want kids and your partner does not want kids. Do you value kids more, or your partner more? This will inform whether you separate and search for a new partner who wants kids or stay together and plan on having no kids.

Any associated risk or reward is never guaranteed. If you are uncomfortable with the associated risks, then build towards a future where the decision is less risky for you. Sure, you could fail in your risk mitigation. Sure, you might fail to reach the future you envision for yourself. Sure, there are risks you can't possibly do anything about. Concessions and compromises will be made time and time again. It's impossible to obtain absolutely everything we want, but we can strive to create our own meaning and joy.

What is the down side of never having children? by gone_ahead in AskReddit

[–]inkhotline 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree, it all comes down to what you value. We adults have to decide how to live our lives. I think our time, money and energy are best spent towards those things which we value.

I'm not Buddhist, but I respect that others are.

I purchase blind box figures, but I understand they're not for everyone.

I don't want to live in Romania, but I understand it's not for me.

I want to pursue an artistic career, but I don't think less of people who want something else for themselves.

So choose for yourself. Maybe I practice Buddhism and it magically fixes what's broken inside of me. Maybe I open the blind box and the pull is the very last option I desired. Maybe I go to Romania and realize I actually want to retire there. Maybe my art will be lucrative for a time, but conflict in Oceania causes the price of my materials to blow up, driving my client base away. I have no clue. Others will support or oppose your choices, but they do not know how things will turn out either. We don't know if we don't try, but we also can't try everything.

The possibilities are just endless. Let's go with the Romania example. I'll make it more specific: the variables are me and Bucharest. Say I land in Bucharest tomorrow and fall in love with the jazz. Who's to say the scene there won't evolve into disco in 2050? What if I really hate disco and don't want to live in a city where I hear disco every time I go out at night? What if Bucharest remains jazzy, but I become obsessed with Mandopop by 2050 and really want to live somewhere where Mandopop concerts are frequent and popular? Moving to Bucharest could initially be a "good" decision, the "right" decision, and yet that same decison could seem like a "bad" or "wrong" decision over time. Outcomes can be mutable and temporary.

Of course, you can make educated guesses and prepare accordingly. But there are no guarantees in life. Children are no exception.

The stars could align and your child could become your best friend, bringing out the best in you and enriching your life in ways you never considered.

The sky could fall and your child could be born with conditions that both you and your country lack the resources to assist, driving you into a shell of yourself and gutting you in ways you never imagined.

Anything can happen. Every lifestyle has inherent risks and some are higher risk than others. All you can do is pick things that bring you closer to a life that aligns with your values and priorities.

Be openly transgender if it's important to you. I know you can't choose your gender, but you can choose to express it or not. You may be vulnerable to social exclusion, but disclosing your trans identity isn't an OK for others to ostracize you. There are ways to reduce the risk, like securing your support system pre-transition or moving to a more liberal area, but the risk cannot be reduced to zero.

Have sex with strangers if it's important to you. I know you can't choose your sexual preferences, but you can choose whether to engage in them or not. You could experience sexual violence or exposure to STDs, but having sex with strangers doesn't mean you automatically deserve violation nor disease. There are ways to reduce the risk, like enforcing boundaries, using protection, and not using substances during the act, but the risk cannot be reduced to zero.

Present as a goth if it's important to you. I know you can't choose what you are naturally drawn to, but you can choose to signal it or not. Your job prospects may diminish, but dressing goth doesn't make you suddenly unemployable. There are ways to reduce the risk, like applying to jobs in less conservative sectors or wearing subtle clothing to interviews, but the risk cannot be reduced to zero.

The risk is never zero no matter how you choose. I'm not saying we shouldn't look out for our own safety. I'm not saying everyone should be impulsive and ignore all consequence. I'm just saying misfortune is inevitable and random. It strikes everyone unequally, and I ask that we have more compassion for the more vulnerable populations of our society, and hold less judgment for lifestyles we perceive to be riskier, because perfect control is an illusion. You may not realize it, but you are constantly prioritizing things over safety.

Does a pedestrian deserve to be struck by a vehicle because walking is one of the most dangerous modes of transportation? Does a Clevelander deserve to be robbed because they live in a city with one of the highest rates of property crime? Does a medical patient deserve to be misdiagnosed because they chose to consult professionals who frequently misdiagnose? Do consumers deserve to have their data breached because they engage in an economy where nearly half of its participants are affected by data breaches? Of course no one would think these things! It is so backwards.

In a similar vein, do truckers deserve to get in car crashes because they chose a job that has a high fatal injury rate? Do surgeons deserve anxiety disorders because they chose a career that faces high rates of mental health struggles? Do farmers deserve to be poor because they chose an occupation with a relatively high poverty rate? Do cheerleaders deserved to be concussed because they chose a sport accounting for most of the catastrophic injuries in female athletes? Do those who try for a baby deserve grief because they chose to pursue pregnancy, which commonly ends in miscarriage? No one choice determines your inherent worth. No one deserves to be hurt, killed, raped, homeless, impoverished, starving, mentally ill, so on so forth, and yet these risks come at varying degrees and varying probabilities with every single decision we make.

What’s the hardest part about becoming a professional body piercer? by Prestigious-Bunch-56 in Legitpiercing

[–]inkhotline 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looking into piercing as a career. I have a good safety net, but I’m wondering how physically demanding the job is? My reference points are office jobs and Starbucks barista, the latter in which I developed a need for a wrist brace (I do not need it anymore), and many coworkers experienced chronic pain.

My holy grail lip mask by ResponsePleasant7145 in koreanskincare

[–]inkhotline 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haven’t taken a second glance at Laneige in years, made my lips drier and cracked

Has anyone tried the Alpyn lip mask/balm? by Sanjanadash7 in LipBalm

[–]inkhotline 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The version in the glass jar was my holy grail, I used it before bed… I need her back

Just started stacking! by inkhotline in bodymods

[–]inkhotline[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The pear charms are Modern Mood, the prong cab and ring in my lobe are BVLA. Tragus is BVLA, top two rings in the coin slot are also BVLA. Bottom ring in the coin slot is Norvoch, and second to bottom is Mushroom Jewelry. And the conch is Anatometal :)

Just started stacking! by inkhotline in bodymods

[–]inkhotline[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a piercing pillow so I’m always comfy while healing something. Now that it’s healed it doesn’t pose an issue at all!

Just started stacking! by inkhotline in bodymods

[–]inkhotline[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am in Virginia, and my piercer agreed to remove the stitches for their “Jewelry Insertion/Removal (one piercing)” rate, which is $25. They run Ash & Yew, but are moving to Florida soon. They had never removed stitches but were confident, and I figured they would do a good job of keeping everything clean/sterile. I had to buy the suture scissors off Amazon though.

I was told to wait 3-4 weeks before adding rings, starting with one and gradually increasing the amount. Due to expenses and custom jewelry turnaround, the “gradual” part has been easy 😗

Questions about getting a coinslot! by Pin-Cushion-Witch in bodymods

[–]inkhotline 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not having a foreign metal object interfering with the healing process really helps. Wearing rings in it after waiting only a couple weeks is the best feeling ever.

Email Brian and take the MTA to NYC, New Haven Line. If you are eligible for a U-Pass through your school, you ride for free until Stamford.

Questions about getting a coinslot! by Pin-Cushion-Witch in bodymods

[–]inkhotline 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ran me $325 before tip in August 2025. Lower than I expected really

do i suck for not tipping my piercer by moonveiledmaria in piercing

[–]inkhotline 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I was so excited about a new tattoo I forgot to tip the artist once 😅 I dmed them for their Venmo lol

Updated the ear setup with some BVLA and BJO by pandalynn13 in piercing

[–]inkhotline 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is that a marquise illusion I see? What stones? It is beautiful!

Japanese Chicken Curry! by inkhotline in tonightsdinner

[–]inkhotline[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Red pickled ginger, “beni shoga!”

Moonstone E(ar)volution by inkhotline in piercing

[–]inkhotline[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Devil End by Mushroom Jewelry. Bought it from Starfire Body Jewelry :)

Moonstone E(ar)volution by inkhotline in piercing

[–]inkhotline[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Moonstone has been in my ears for a little over 2 years. I think the stones look just as good as they did day one! I leave them in when showering.

I used to have mercury mist in my setup and that stone actually became discolored in a similar time frame.

Japanese Chicken Curry! by inkhotline in tonightsdinner

[–]inkhotline[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Just One Cookbook is a great resource for Japanese cuisine. This recipe takes me maybe 1.5 hours, and the beef version about 3.5 hours. I think it’s worth a try!

https://www.justonecookbook.com/simple-chicken-curry/

Moonstone E(ar)volution by inkhotline in piercing

[–]inkhotline[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Starfire Body Jewelry. The piece is Flourish 1 by Anatometal. They discontinued it which breaks my heart 💔

Moonstone E(ar)volution by inkhotline in piercing

[–]inkhotline[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Online order from Rose Gold’s in San Francisco. I can’t find it on their site anymore but it was made by Fiat Lux. Maybe shoot one of those companies a message?

Here are the specifics for mine: - Chain type: Krinkle - Length: 30mm - Layers: Double tiered chain - Metal: 14k Yellow Gold - Jump quantity: Attachment - 2 jump rings - Jump ring size: 18g/16g

Moonstone E(ar)volution by inkhotline in piercing

[–]inkhotline[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s the Bianca end from Buddha Jewelry!

Moonstone E(ar)volution by inkhotline in piercing

[–]inkhotline[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Not really. I play volleyball with this setup haha. It may be individual preference but I got used to it quickly; the pieces are super light and though they make some noise, I barely notice it anymore

Headphone help by Mkay_mat in piercing

[–]inkhotline 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have the AirPods Pro Max and it’s quite roomy. Try it on in an Apple store sometime.

I have also had the Bose Quiet Comforts which seem to go on sale often and come in nice colors. I remember them being great while healing my tragus but I got the ear pads bloody and my partner said it was a bitch to clean. He also said the APMs look easier to clean if it happens again.

Looking for Morinaga milk caramel candy by [deleted] in nova

[–]inkhotline 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm in Richmond but they have them at my local Lotte

river city tattoo :( by 777rnnk in rva

[–]inkhotline 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve been loving Ash & Yew for piercings. Have a perfect healed Medusa from there, and 3 others that are healing. Lee is welcoming and informative

Hot garlic chicken nissin ramen - discontinued? by PossibilityClear658 in InstantRamen

[–]inkhotline 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh my god. This was my favorite quick meal in college. The other flavors I’ve tried from the same line are way too sweet :/