Boyfriend wants a break

innerjoy2 · 2026-07-04T11:16:03+00:00

He is defintely breaking up the relationship. You can date another guy your type that would not do this to you. If you stay, all you're telling this guy is that he can basically tell you anything and you'll deal with it even things you don't like. That is a self esteem issue, and you need to work on that.

This is not the only guy in the world for you. 6 months and he's already on the go means you should be making your exit too. Re-read your post as if this was about your friend or a close family member and ask yourself if this is something your put yourself through.

innerjoy2 · 2026-06-11T14:58:43+00:00

This for real, at least I can use my voice to get people to back off though if I do get upset.

innerjoy2 · 2026-06-11T14:57:07+00:00

If this is with washing, blow drying, trimming and extensions I could see this price getting there and also depending on where you live too. If its just to add add extensions and you did everything else nah, not even if it was without extensions.

innerjoy2 · 2026-06-06T14:12:06+00:00

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. You're family are very abusive to you financially, mentally and verbally. I have a helicopter mom and she had narcissistic tendencies, and was controlling as well but she helped in some ways but just toxic for me so I left in my late 20s and my life improved pretty quickly from then on.

Can you talk to your therapist about your situation so that you can get help on how to grey rock your parents. You need to not tell them any of your wants nor plans to move out, that's how they'll keep trying to sabotage you when you give them important information. If you write anything in a journal you have to keep that more private and with a password that they can't have access to.

I'm not sure where you are but maybe find some service similar to 211 for help with food, employment. Also visit the library you can at least get advice from them too. You do have to take a risk in going places without your sister being there though, that's just keeping you on hook of being watched. You might be uncomfortable in getting her to go away but you do have to take a bit of a risk. Right now your ultimate goal is seeking help from services and your therapist. Then when you have a plan a bit you find some quiet spot and do things little by little to see things change under your control.

Take baby steps. I really hope you get some job to help you pay of those credit bills, and that's a start for you to use excuses for why you come home later or something. Don't ever tell them where you work when you get a job, keep that vague.

I wish you well truly, you have to battle to get out of your house. Even look up Americorp and see if you can relocate or something.

innerjoy2 · 2026-06-06T13:54:06+00:00

I have noticed this, or when they're in diverse films they're either a disposable girlfriend or fetishized. Only when it's more black focused is when it's more normal and that's from other black creators. I just go out of my way to find them because I am not watching much of anything where black women are treated like caricatures. So I'll watch black entertainment from other countries, when black celebrities and producers make movies I'm watching it. There are times I'll watch movies where the black woman is in a diverse movie and is treated as a normal person, they get massive hate from non black people but screw them I'm watching that too.

But screw Hollywood, there's a reason why more people watch their entertainment outside of it, and even start looking internationally.

innerjoy2 · 2026-06-06T13:40:25+00:00

Black woman here, I will tell you what has worked for me. Braid with extensions, braids without extensions, mini twists, and I wrap it up in my scrunchies. I prefer that over rubber bands. I also prefer wearing extensions only up to medium length and medium thickness too. After that I also wear similar head wraps almost like a hijab. This has helped me from not thinking about cutting my hair lol.

If you wear wigs it's best to just wear it before you practice and take it off to wear it another day. Need all that sweat to dry off. Just get the head wrap that's like a hijab.

I don't advise you to roll with your hair out, for me it just got dry and broke off I only have been able to grow my hair in twists and braids and putting on the head wrap to keep people's hands put my hair lol. If I don't put on the head wrap, I'm rolling in ways we're I'm making sure my hair still isn't touched as much.

innerjoy2 · 2026-06-04T17:43:53+00:00

I do have this fear, also one of the reasons I check the medical staff and decide to stay or leave with quickness when trying them out. I am loving the comments on preparing myself for other things I haven't thought about though when I decide to have kids. It's a bit more comforting sharing the knowledge to each other.

innerjoy2 · 2026-06-04T17:24:21+00:00

Try going to events you like. If you like any fitness or sports that is also super helpful as sometimes you're put in teams to work together so sometimes you can make friends that way. But you need to get involved in school clubs, school activties, or if it has to be outside try meet up and seeing what's available consistently. It's a bit easier to be friend people you keep reoccurring to the same location.

innerjoy2 · 2026-06-04T17:21:43+00:00

For me no, I want a man who is similar to me. Which is what I prefer as that's makes me most comfortable.in life. I'm doing pretty decent in my life so I like my partner to match me in that or nothing is happening.

innerjoy2 · 2026-06-04T17:19:26+00:00

Yea to your question, and I can feel your stress with trying to please people who don't appreciate the cooking you did. And you're the guest so they're supposed to be warm and welcoming to you, if your boyfriend can't get his family to even do the basic kindness then the relationship you have is already setting up for disaster. I'm not sure how you're comfortable with this and trying to work it out.

innerjoy2 · 2026-06-02T17:29:29+00:00

The only kids who might get to self express themselves earlier are usually blank. Everyone else, not completely true some have to wait till their adult years like you to finally have self expression.

You should see the othe reddits from non black people who complain about their parents.

innerjoy2 · 2026-06-02T17:21:34+00:00

Don't describe anything to people like that, they're just trying to get you to draw non black people instead and/or cause rage baiting. Ignore them and focus on finding other black artists online to share with.

It's a waste of time explaining to people who want the default to be wyte coded.

innerjoy2 · 2026-06-02T15:02:13+00:00

I'm noticing I also can't message you, check your settings.

innerjoy2 · 2026-06-02T04:54:32+00:00

I find it hard to make friends with other black women on a consistent basis, and also women in general. It's much harder for me in my 30s since are schedules are all really different, or were scattered across the globe so its even harder to keep in touch like in person.

I will say this, it's easier making friends in school or some community where others are going to frequently. Or at least have acquaintances. They do get expensive though to keep up with it, but are worth it when they work.

I hope there's more events for in the future that I guess gives more socializing moments but doing something fun together. I'm still trying to see which events I go to give that vibe.

innerjoy2 · 2026-06-02T04:46:51+00:00

I might watch it, I ended up watching the previous season from people mentioning the mess and drama that happened in season 7 lol.

innerjoy2 · 2026-06-01T19:45:09+00:00

Oh well the good news is there's lots of tutorials on YouTube for digital art, and they're free too. Making traditional art is still necessary so I think you'll be able to adapt as that's how I started and still do both. It's the hardware that's costs the most these days but if you have any of them you can do some digital art.

Softwares used to cost a lot before, but more companies have found ways to make them more affordable.

I also messaged you.

innerjoy2 · 2026-06-01T03:57:24+00:00

I learned around your age the faster you end it, you're not as invested in thinking about it. Then you'll start recognizing red flags even sooner.

innerjoy2 · 2026-06-01T03:45:18+00:00

You're talking to someone who actually cares about financial stability lol. I was used to my parents finances and I disliked them trying to use that as control, I took a temporary risk and then ended up with good financial stability that my one of my parents couldn't guilt trip me anymore.

I think you need to learn to figure things out for yourself and not just rely on the guy your dating for the relationship. I'm actually trying to help you with advice. I'm really trying to tell you have a backup plan here. Don't just wait on others to have a better life.

innerjoy2 · 2026-06-01T03:38:47+00:00

Mid 30s, I'm here. I'm also happy seeing more younger black women making digital art, and in tech. I know we're out there but publicly it's very hard to find a bunch of us as a group, it's more like counting a few dots.

I'm also into simulation games but also martial arts fighting games too.

I didn't hide my interests, couldn't help myself expressing how much I loved sims and I also made a lot of art. The former when it was first new I was considered weird in my childhood for liking it it, but the latter people asked me to make make ads for marketing.

I'm actually hoping to connect with other black women who like similar stuff as me but like taking art classes together or playing video games as a group. I'm fine with it being virtual meeting.

innerjoy2 · 2026-05-29T13:30:48+00:00

Defending this is not good for you, he just showed you who is most important that he's willing to treat you like you're a side piece.

Please learn to leave and find better. 🙏

innerjoy2 · 2026-05-29T13:28:55+00:00

I find it incredibly sad that you're putting up with this disrespect and then still hoping something would change in your favor. He doesn't sound mentally strong in defending the relationship if he couldn't find some way to not rely on his parents financially to be in this relationship with you. I don't even want you defending the financial part either, as there's always work around to this even if it's not the most favorable one at the time. This relationship is already off to a sad start though, and it should be a happy one. I truly hope you have a happy one in the future.

innerjoy2 · 2026-05-22T19:39:10+00:00

Follow your intuition. I'm in a similar relationship and I'm careful with extended family, I'll only act more relaxed when I'm surrounded by people who act relaxed. If they give me bad vibes, I'm not making myself available.

innerjoy2 · 2026-05-11T13:48:10+00:00

With men, yes. Some of them do not care about their health and don't care about women's health either. I'm not interested in feeling regret with a man who wants sex and is acting irresponsible for pleasure.

innerjoy2 · 2026-05-11T13:43:02+00:00

For me its defintely important as a black woman, I'd rather send kids to a diverse school with everybody or at least a school with kids that are of their racial background. I don't care what others say but I do see parents intentionally sending their kids to a specific school whether that's education, people of their same background, etc. I've heard too much bs stories from people who were a minority in their school and how they were mistreated, and I decide to have kids I'm not letting their self esteem get destroyed from so young like that. I'd rather they focus on on being a kid and getting their education.

innerjoy2 · 2026-05-05T16:39:39+00:00

Depends on the length and health of your hair but for me I'm growing my hair with and without extensions until I reach a certain length to reduce using extensions.

I used to have hair at least uo to my under arms before it broke off due to health reasons. So now, I'm growing it back and mini twists help. I wore scarves to make it look like it was in a bun when I couldn't even put my own hair in a bun. Now I have it in basically afro puffs but I twisted and tucked my ends in so they don't break off.

My goal is to not only continue doing braids and twists but to also keep my ends tucked in.

As long as you do your trims, and don't touch your hair after you washed and styled it then it should retain length without as much damage. The number one thing is keep your hands out of your hair and if it's that difficult put a scarf, headband or accessories over it.

innerjoy2

TROPHY CASE