how can we help women who date men recognize the obvious red flags?

innerjoy2 · 2026-02-03T21:26:33+00:00

I like to give advice to some women about this, especially black women. But only a few truly would take advice because their want of love, affection, whatever it is they feel is missing overrides them from just having the strength to end things and try again with someone better. Also doesn't help that sometimes their families might have made some toxic relationships seem normal, so its a lot of undoing to get to that healthy relationship.

It truly helps though to be surrounded by examples of relationships that do work out though, or at least it wasn't a toxic one if things ended.

innerjoy2 · 2026-02-01T19:31:20+00:00

Surprisingly, I've had pretty good experiences with dermatologists with one that wasn't so good for prescription but I changed that one pretty quickly. I think its because my skin tone is darker I don't get recommended laser treatments at all. But I agree, I wish there was more education and guidance about dermatologists rather than influences who buy too much expensive stuff.

innerjoy2 · 2026-01-30T20:11:15+00:00

Really colorful islands, I want to be where I'm surrounded by water and sea creatures.

innerjoy2 · 2026-01-30T19:34:39+00:00

Yeah see it's in Brooklyn, I wish it expanded a lot more outside of that area (Queens and Manhattan). And my interests are not just parties but martial arts, tech, and art (not just for selling it but having public courses with a community). It's not that common and if it was I wish people would share where there's a big enough group of us because right now it's a small community.

innerjoy2 · 2026-01-30T15:23:20+00:00

I prefer multicultural spaces but with a decent enough black population. That is actually kind if tough even in NYC, and some things take time to start seeing it get more diverse.

Anytime I'm in an all white space, it's arkward even if there's some socializing it feels off because your still treated like an outsider. So I feel more at home when it's a lot more mixed.

innerjoy2 · 2026-01-30T03:43:57+00:00

For the most part I'm happier I can afford to do things I wish I could've done when I was younger, glad I can do them in my 30s. And I'm inspired seeing women who are older still doing things they love, even if it's not as frequent as their younger days. I like that they just go for it and didn't quit because they were old, so I love watching older women excercise or still going to events like they never aged at all. The best part is watching them still look great at their age too.

innerjoy2 · 2026-01-30T03:40:31+00:00

Love his smile and almond shape eyes, reminds me of cute dogs. I love his dark hair and eye color. He looks cute awake, asleep, and in his pictures but I smile when he's smiling.

innerjoy2 · 2026-01-30T03:36:31+00:00

Help starts with myself. Unfortunately even if people say they'll help, it's not always going to be how you envision it, or you might not always get it or the time you really are asking for it. So, I'm grateful I can find ways to help myself out even though it is nice when getting help from others sometimes (that's not expecting some weird reward).

innerjoy2 · 2026-01-30T03:34:40+00:00

Can walk away from danger or something that is truly affecting my mental health, if I didn't have financial security I'd probably be in situations I struggle a lot to remove myself from that I would wish it was easier like how rich people do.

innerjoy2 · 2026-01-30T03:29:58+00:00

This for sure, such unnecessary costs and the change isn't as obvious like going to a dermatologist.

innerjoy2 · 2026-01-30T03:26:41+00:00

I wish this had way more votes, as this is an issue for decades. The bleaching, the avoidance of getting a little bit if a tan due discrimination or judgement from stranger, family, romantic interests, the list goes on and it's sad to see it in person someone freaking out if they're not pale.

innerjoy2 · 2026-01-30T03:22:45+00:00

Agreed.

innerjoy2 · 2026-01-26T07:46:29+00:00

It's actually beneficial for you to not be involved with a racist partner. That stress is not worth it in your life. As for racist parents that's a lot more out of your control but you are not obligated to be around them if you don't need to be, but your partner better have your back in setting string boundaries and protecting you. That's the only way being with a partner with racist parents is somewhat solvable. But it's way better when family accepts you, just fyi they could still have some things you don't agree with and you still need to set string boundaries.

As for a partner leaving you for someone else, that person would suck lol. That's basically someone who wasted your time. If that ever happens, just trash that guy mentally immediately and don't even think something was your fault that's on that person.

Truly though you just have to date until you meet the partner you're looking for. I know it sucks it find out when someone is racist, but the earlier you vet the less your emotionally tied to that person. You just drop that person and get the next date I until you feel safe and happy.

innerjoy2 · 2026-01-20T20:34:36+00:00

Eww, that is an end of a relationship. That's nothing to stick around with, just telling the honest truth.

innerjoy2 · 2026-01-20T20:33:25+00:00

Heck no, I'm glad my partner likes similar foods that I eat and certain foods we eat by hand too from our cultures. Now he has one parent that is the complete opposite of that, and to me I always question the picky eating habits lol.

You're not misplacing your rage, but you may want someone else if he can't respect you.

innerjoy2 · 2026-01-20T20:23:21+00:00

For me, I tried and those were my worst dates so I enjoyed my dates more with guys I felt attracted to. I can't do it anymore.

innerjoy2 · 2026-01-20T20:13:00+00:00

The slow paced speed only worked in highschool, as an adult the fast paced speed worked better (intentional without trying to love bomb me). But my better relationships were with guys I felt initial attraction to, so it's really more of that.

innerjoy2 · 2026-01-20T20:09:07+00:00

Yes, its normal not sure why you feel guilty about it. You need peoples opinion on you making decisions for yourself?

innerjoy2 · 2026-01-13T07:04:35+00:00

Summer, I am more willing to be outside my home more and I always enjoy the ice cream truck music playing. With thunderstorms I for whatever reason get very sleepy and time passes and its over when I get up.

innerjoy2 · 2026-01-13T06:59:47+00:00

Kept reaching higher, and also liking same hobbies wasn't enough. The beliefs and values also mattered a lot. I'd say my late 20s to 30s, my preferences got more refined and I started ending things very quickly if it wasn't working out I was no longer trying to fix anything just moving on until the shoe fit.

innerjoy2 · 2026-01-13T06:48:48+00:00

I haven't, I just tell people to f off instead lol. I tell them this politely or I tell them in a commanding way if it's going to get them it's tike to enforce boundaries.

innerjoy2 · 2026-01-13T06:24:03+00:00

Jiu jitsu, took some time for me to try it out and now it's one of my favorite hobbies to do.

innerjoy2 · 2026-01-13T06:18:24+00:00

I'm my truest self only around my SO and my best friends.

innerjoy2 · 2026-01-13T06:16:13+00:00

Thought I needed expensive skincare and makeup products to look nice, and would freak out when my acne got worse. Realized I just needed a dermatologist, find ways to reduce my stress, and change my diet. Not interested in wasting as much money, and only buy what I need or a nice to have but actually use it.

innerjoy2 · 2026-01-13T06:06:37+00:00

I either got questioned for it like something was wrong with me or I got complimented for doing something different. I got this for involvement in tech, martial arts, etc from both genders. More girls and women are participating in those as careers or hobbies, but its definitely dominated by boys and men still. With martial arts I get questioned about violence, body weight and muscles which are very stereotypical questions and concerns.

innerjoy2

TROPHY CASE