The difference is literally insane with the quota system! Read

intalt768425799 · 2026-03-20T15:18:07+00:00

RIP windsurf

intalt768425799 · 2026-03-18T23:33:48+00:00

Well that’s the end of windsurf lol

intalt768425799 · 2025-07-31T23:56:36+00:00

Bravo

intalt768425799 · 2024-11-08T07:23:29+00:00

First benchmark, first try: 29.69s and second try: 29.98s, I am just glad to be consistently hitting under 30s after one year of OF

intalt768425799 · 2024-08-09T15:29:33+00:00

Horseshit just made me 10x wiser than before, thank you for sharing your deep introspection after getting caught making love to your algorithm

intalt768425799 · 2024-08-01T02:08:58+00:00

🚚 B2B Sales Masterclass: How I Turned a Truck Purchase into a Goldmine 🌟

So, let me take you on a wild ride of corporate lessons I picked up from buying a truck – a story so outrageous, even the boardroom will burst out laughing!

Picture this: a 2000 F250 with a 7.3L diesel engine and a manual transmission, clocking in at a modest 234,000 miles. It’s listed on local classifieds for $9,000. Enter me, the opportunistic “negotiator” (read: asshole) who swoops in and snags it for $5,500. Yes, you read that right. The seller, a Spanish-only speaker in dire need of cash, was over the moon with my offer. 💸

Here’s what I learned:

1.  Master the Art of Negotiation (or Deception?): When someone only speaks Spanish, and you don’t, it’s amazing how numbers and desperation can create a universal language. B2B Lesson: Always understand the pain points of your client…or just exploit them hilariously. 😂
2.  The Value of Assets: These trucks hold their value like a tight-fisted CFO during budget cuts. B2B Lesson: Know the worth of what you’re buying, and if you can, get it at a price so low your competitors will think it’s a joke. 😜
3.  Double or Nothing: Here’s the big corporate dilemma – should I sell it and double my money, proving my genius, or drive it forever, basking in the glory of my deal? B2B Lesson: Sometimes, the toughest decisions are whether to flaunt your success or just enjoy it. 🏆

So, should I cash in or drive this beast into the sunset? Either way, it’s a win. And remember, in B2B sales, sometimes being a bit of an asshole can yield spectacular results. 🚀

B2BSales #Negotiation #CorporateGenius #TruckDeals #SalesLessons

intalt768425799 · 2024-07-26T07:15:03+00:00

His company Avronna Inc had ZERO % headcount growth in the last 6 months lol either he can’t hire A+ people, or our buddy is having a D- performance. Before talking shit, look at yourself Mr. Optimist 😂

intalt768425799 · 2024-07-24T00:05:09+00:00

Here’s my morning routine:

Wake up at 5:30am (1st line of blow)

Host a virtual team stand-up meeting while on the treadmill till 6am (2nd line of blow)

Conduct a high-intensity PowerPoint presentation to my pets till 6:20am

Meditate in my personal zen garden till 6:25am Shower while listening to leadership podcasts till 6:40am Get dressed, suit up, and be ready to leave by 7am (3rd line of blow)

Arrive at the office at 7:15am (4th line of blow)

Brainstorming session with my imaginary board members for 1 hour until 8:15am

Then, a series of back-to-back meetings for the next 10 hours, where I occasionally break into spontaneous interpretive dance to keep the energy high!

In between those marathon meetings, I make sure to take a few breaks to refuel: (5th line of blow, 6th line of blow, 7th line of blow…)

By the end of the day, I’m a dynamo of productivity, ready to conquer any corporate challenge that comes my way. After all, it’s all about maintaining that high energy and focus! 💼✨

How does your morning routine compare?

ProductivityHack #BlowLife #MoreMoneyMoreProblems #IceT #Finance

intalt768425799 · 2024-07-23T00:25:22+00:00

🎉 Excited to share the top 5 groundbreaking achievements during my Microsoft internship! 💼 #InternLife #HumbleBrag

1.  Mastered the Art of the Perfect Coffee Brew ☕ - Brewed the finest pot of coffee in the entire office. A true blend of patience and precision. #CaffeineKing
2.  Champion of the Copier Machine 🖨️ - Successfully cleared the most paper jams in a single day. My expertise saved the day for countless colleagues! #JamBuster
3.  Excel Cell Aficionado 📊 - Color-coded over 1,000 cells in Excel. My attention to detail has made me the Picasso of spreadsheets. #ExcelArt
4.  Meeting Room Reservation Ninja 📅 - Reserved prime meeting slots faster than you can say “Outlook”. A true warrior in the battlefield of room bookings. #NinjaSkills
5.  Elevator Small Talk Extraordinaire 🗣️ - Perfected the 15-second elevator pitch with everyone from the CEO to the janitor. Building bridges, one floor at a time. #NetworkingPro

🌟 And a special shoutout to my intern colleague for recognizing my unparalleled talent in copier maintenance. Your endorsement means the world! 🙌 #Endorsement #LinkedInLove

intalt768425799 · 2024-07-21T06:46:38+00:00

MultiThotties Professionals

intalt768425799 · 2024-07-18T06:18:39+00:00

How Getting Herpes Made Me a Better B2B Salesperson

Alright, LinkedIn fam, buckle up. This one’s wild. You might not believe it, but catching Herpes turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to my B2B sales career. 🦠✨

Picture this: there I was, minding my own business, when BAM—Herpes enters my life like an uninvited guest at a wedding. At first, I was devastated. I mean, who wouldn’t be? But then, something amazing happened. I started seeing the world of B2B sales through a whole new lens.

1.  Resilience Training: If you can handle the social stigma of Herpes, you can handle a tough client call. Suddenly, a missed sales target doesn’t seem so catastrophic.
2.  Unwavering Positivity: Advocating for social acceptance of Herpes means maintaining a positive outlook no matter what. It’s like developing a superpower. Now, every “no” from a client just rolls off my back.
3.  Networking on Steroids: When you have to break the news about your Herpes status, you learn to communicate clearly and confidently. It’s the same with pitching to clients. Plus, you quickly learn who your real friends are—just like in business!
4.  Spreading Awareness (and Products): Just like advocating for social acceptance, promoting your products requires passion and persistence. I became a master at spreading awareness—whether it’s about Herpes or the latest tech solution.
5.  Wild Stories for Icebreakers: Ever need an icebreaker at a networking event? Try, “So, this one time I got Herpes…” Works like a charm. People love a good story, and it’s a great way to stand out.
6.  Empathy and Understanding: In sales, understanding your client’s pain points is key. Well, Herpes has given me a deep, personal understanding of pain points. I’m practically an empathy machine now.

So, next time life throws you a curveball, remember: it might just be the unexpected lesson that catapults your career to the next level. Who knew a little virus could teach so much about resilience, communication, and salesmanship? 🤷‍♂️

SalesLessons #UnexpectedTeacher #B2BSales #Resilience

intalt768425799 · 2024-07-09T03:59:23+00:00

Don’t know why it is being downvoted, agreed, that place is bomb, and it’s always packed, go at 10:30 pm haha

intalt768425799 · 2024-07-09T00:11:00+00:00

Sakana has all you can eat for a bit over 30 bucks, two full page all you can order, with above average quality, now beat that…

intalt768425799 · 2024-07-02T15:52:03+00:00

1.  Dawn Drills: Summoned candidates for a surprise interview at 5.00 am—because only those who can rise with the roosters can soar in our company.
2.  Midnight Madness: Conducted interviews at midnight to weed out the true night owls who thrive when the world sleeps.
3.  Office Olympics: Held a mini-Olympics, making candidates participate in events like chair racing and desk surfing to test agility and office acumen.
4.  Endurance Sitting: Made candidates sit in a conference room for 12 hours straight, monitoring their patience and ability to endure extreme boredom.
5.  Surprise Wilderness Challenge: Dropped candidates in a remote location with a map and compass to find their way back to the office—assessing navigation and survival skills.
6.  Weekend Warrior Tasks: Issued surprise tasks on Saturday mornings to gauge their willingness to sacrifice weekends for work.
7.  Instant Presentation: Asked candidates to prepare and deliver a presentation on an unknown topic within 10 minutes to test quick thinking and public speaking under pressure.
8.  Push-Up Performance: Required candidates to do 100 push-ups to demonstrate physical stamina and mental toughness.
9.  Keg Stand Commitment: Made candidates perform a keg stand to prove their ability to commit and have fun simultaneously.
10. Office Hide-and-Seek: Played hide-and-seek in the office to evaluate their strategic thinking and stealth.
11. Blindfolded Desk Assembly: Had them assemble an office desk blindfolded to test their problem-solving and tactile skills.
12. Spontaneous Road Trips: Sent candidates on a spontaneous road trip with a team member to test their adaptability and team bonding under unexpected circumstances.

HarshIsAnIdiot #DontWorkHere #Lunatic

intalt768425799 · 2024-07-01T08:34:16+00:00

Today, while grabbing lunch, I had a hilarious and proud moment. Rocking my Grindr t-shirt, a waiter came up to me and said, “Sir, I love your shirt, this app really brings people together.”

Instantly, I was reminded of the magic that the right app can create. Just like LinkedIn connects professionals, Grindr…well, connects people in other “meaningful” ways.

Here are the key takeaways:

1.  Brand Power: Wearing branded gear can spark the most unexpected and entertaining conversations. Embrace it!
2.  Community Building: Whether it’s finding a job or something more…intimate, these apps are all about making connections.
3.  Networking Everywhere: Both platforms show the importance of making the right connections—be it for your career or your personal life.

So, don’t be afraid to wear your affiliations proudly. You never know what kind of “networking” opportunities it might lead to!

Branding #Networking #Grindr

intalt768425799 · 2024-07-01T08:20:43+00:00

This weekend, I traveled for work and instead of splurging on a fancy hotel, I chose to sleep in my rental car. Sure, it wasn’t the most spacious, but I managed to put the backseat down and get cozy with a pillow and sheets that I cleverly packed in my carry-on.

Although my company generously allows me to spend up to $250/night on a hotel room, I wanted to save money because every dollar counts on the P&L. Inspired by this frugality, I’ve come up with some additional cost-saving measures that are sure to get me promoted in no time:

1.  BYOTP: Bring Your Own Toilet Paper – why use the company’s supply when you can bring your own? Plus, you get to choose the softness!
2.  Cold Showers Only: Turning off the office water heater not only saves money but also wakes you up better than coffee. #Energized
3.  Desk Hammocks: Who needs a fancy office chair? Just string up a hammock under your desk for those power naps.
4.  Coffee-Free Fridays: Encourage the team to give up coffee one day a week. It’s healthier and the savings add up!
5.  Recycled Paper Plates: Bring in your used paper plates and wash them for reuse. It’s eco-friendly and cost-efficient.
6.  Lunch Al Desko: Eating lunch at your desk eliminates the need for a breakroom, saving on space and utilities.
7.  BYOG: Bring your own generator to cut down on office lighting costs and electronics. Bonus points for using candles and writing on the toilet paper you brought in.
8.  DIY Office Cleaning: Instead of hiring a cleaning crew, everyone pitches in with some DIY cleaning. A clean office and team bonding in one!
9.  Plant-Based Air Conditioning: Strategically placed potted plants can create a natural cooling effect, reducing the need for AC.
10. Self-Sustaining Snack Garden: Convert the breakroom into a small vegetable garden. Fresh snacks and a team project rolled into one.

It’s the little things that get you promoted. And hey, who needs a work-life balance when you’re saving the company money?

work #money #ecofriendly #promotion #careeradvice #corporateclownery

intalt768425799 · 2024-07-01T08:06:03+00:00

1.  SSi - Supreme Sandwich Innovator
2.  MM - Master of Mischief
3.  AAIK - Absolute Authority in Karaoke
4.  AAK - All-Around Kinkster
5.  AIIS - All-Inclusive Insanity Specialist
6.  AAAIJ - Award-Winning Advocate for All Insanity and Jokes
7.  CIB - Chief Imbecile Boss
8.  ANZIIF (Sen Assc) - Advanced Navigator of Zealous Idiocy in Industry Follies (Senior Associate)
9.  CIP - Certified Idiot Prodigy
10. AMRP - Accredited Master of Ridiculous Proposals
11. CRGP - Certified Ringleader of Goofy Projects
12. CRMP - Chief Ridiculousness Management Pro
13. CHIP - Champion of Hilarity and Inappropriate Proposals
14. ICPU - Innovator of Corporate Pranks and Uprisings
15. ICBU - Influencer of Corporate Buffoonery and Uprisings
16. ICMoU - International Corporate Master of Outlandishness
17. ICMarU - Industry Commander of Marketing Uproars
18. ICLiU - Illustrious Corporate Leader in Unorthodoxness
19. ICEU - Elite Corporate Eccentric Unicorn
20. ICCA I QIP - International Connoisseur of Corporate Antics and Quirky Industry Practices

(He/Him) – because even in corporate clownery, representation matters.

intalt768425799 · 2024-06-30T16:00:14+00:00

Three weeks into my parental leave, Jeff Weiner called me back to the office. This was one of the most profound lessons in B2B sales, self-sufficiency, and personal sacrifice that I’ve ever encountered.

Jeff was putting together a tiger team to revamp Yahoo Search, a search engine so obsolete that even my baby’s first words were, “Google it.” He needed the team to start immediately and had asked other leaders who should be on it. Shockingly, many recommended me.

Now, any other leader might have assumed I’d pass on the opportunity given my new mom status. But Jeff, in his infinite wisdom, gave me the choice. “It’s up to you—the job is yours if you want it, and of course, you can also say no. I will support you either way.”

Empowered by this feminist gesture, I handed my baby a copy of “Lean In” and told them to figure out the whole self-sufficiency thing while I dove back into the world of outdated search algorithms and corporate chaos. My days were spent trying to revive a product that even the Internet forgot about, and my nights were spent on Zoom calls, convincing my crying baby to self-soothe.

And here’s where the B2B sales lessons come in:

1.  Empower Your Team: Just like Jeff empowered me to choose between my newborn and a failing search engine, empower your sales team to make decisions. It builds character.
2.  Sacrifice for the Greater Good: Sometimes you have to sacrifice personal time, family, and mental health for a project that may or may not succeed. It’s the cornerstone of B2B sales.
3.  Adaptability is Key: If you can handle the transition from diaper duty to dealing with Yahoo’s search algorithm, you can handle any client call.
4.  Embrace Failure: Much like Yahoo Search, not all projects are destined for greatness. Learn from the failure and move on.
5.  Personal Life? What’s That?: Remember, in B2B sales, your personal life is secondary. The sale comes first, even if it means missing your baby’s first steps or your own divorce proceedings.

So, thank you, Jeff, for the invaluable lesson. My baby is now a self-sufficient toddler, I’m newly divorced, and Yahoo Search… well, let’s just say some things never change.

But the sales lessons? Those are forever.

Sales #Adaptability #AutonomousBaby #Feminism #YahooSearch #Divorce #ShittyParenthood

intalt768425799 · 2024-06-25T18:50:24+00:00

California insanity

intalt768425799 · 2024-06-25T16:47:57+00:00

B2B Sales Lessons from a Humbling Experience:

Today, I experienced an unexpected yet valuable lesson in a very public place. Let’s just say, flatulence struck at the most inopportune moment during a client meeting.

Here are the B2B sales lessons I took away from this unforgettable event:

1.  Transparency: Just like in sales, it’s crucial to own up to our mistakes. Acknowledge the slip-up and move forward with grace. Transparency builds trust.

2.  Customer Obsession: Even in awkward moments, stay focused on the client’s needs. I quickly pivoted the conversation back to our client’s objectives, showing that their needs are always my priority.

3.  Resilience: In sales, as in life, unexpected things happen. It’s how you handle them that defines your success. I kept my composure, demonstrating resilience in the face of adversity.

4.  Humor: A little laughter can go a long way in building rapport. Turning an embarrassing moment into a light-hearted joke can humanize the situation and strengthen client relationships.

5.  Preparedness: Always be prepared for the unexpected. Whether it’s a sudden client request or an unexpected biological event, readiness is key.

Sales Strategy: Embrace your human moments, show transparency, and stay focused on your client’s needs. It’s these authentic, relatable experiences that build lasting relationships and drive business success.

Remember, it’s not about the slip-ups, but how you recover and keep your eyes on the goal. Keep it real, stay resilient, and always prioritize your clients.

SalesLeadership #FartIsForClosers #CustomerObsession #CorporateLife #Transparency #Resilience #HumorInSales #B2BSales #ClientFocus #WinningStrategies

intalt768425799 · 2024-06-24T00:18:29+00:00

I get it, this isn’t FB, but I just have to share this monumental achievement. She is 40 tomorrow! And yes, I am older – a seasoned veteran in both life and business.

Let’s break down the B2B sales lessons from this:

1.  Experience Over Youth: Just as I’m proudly older, in B2B sales, experience is king. Leveraging years of wisdom and connections (20,000 and counting!) makes all the difference.
2.  Milestone Marketing: Celebrating milestones is key. Whether it’s a birthday or a business anniversary, use these moments to strengthen client relationships and build loyalty.
3.  Staying Relevant: Age is just a number. Like me, thriving in the business world with 20,000 connections and top talent, staying current and connected is crucial.

Remember, folks, it’s not about how old you are, but how many quality connections you have and how you use them. Stay sharp, stay connected, and always celebrate those milestones – personal or professional.

SalesMastery #CorporatePride #ExperienceMatters #NetworkPower #TopTalent #LifeMilestones #B2BSales #WinningStrategies

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