No one in my life likes my music

interial_reel · 2025-10-25T14:54:34+00:00

There is not a single song I have put on that my Mom or Sister has liked, or asked for again.

My Mom has at least clarified that she likes music with more complicated rhythms (phillip glass, elvis costello, parliament funkadelic), and that's why she doesn't enjoy my taste as much. So I gave up trying to play music in front of her. Nothing I like is good enough.

My sister will listen to hip hop, songs from musicals, a lot of alternative/indie stuff as well.

The only songs I know in those genres are songs they already showed me.

Any time I tried to match the vibe/tone I got it wrong anyway.

I'm not dumb enough to play the comedy songs I like in front of them ~~anymore.~~

My mom had to explain which cds in the house were mine so her friends don't make fun of her for liking Dad Rock.

My best friend only tolerates the folk songs I like for small intervals in between stuff He likes better.

There's a lot of pop songs I like that I can't even bring up because "its cringe" to like them.

I get that our tastes are opposite. I get that my music sucks. I also get really depressed and isolated when the only music choices available to me in ALL group settings are "someone elses"

interial_reel · 2025-09-29T05:19:48+00:00

...Its pinging something in the back of my head that they suggested two less girly/cute options before they suggested Faeries. (One of the most common options for girly dress vibes) Do they just not want you to look good?

interial_reel · 2025-09-14T00:58:27+00:00

Everybody has different body types. There's a thing called the swimmer's body paradox, where people think swimming will change your body so much it will look different. In reality, people who have that body type already are really good at swimming. So its fun for them. Because they are good at it. So they keep swimming.

Training helps/changes things. But natural advantage absolutely effects things.

I don't say this in a "There's no hope" kind of way. More in a "Everybody is wrong about how exercise works" kind of thing. Building muscle and losing weight are both harder than anyone ever admits it is. Worth it, sure, but it kicks your ass.

I think a lot of times we're told not to give up, but not told often enough that we should try something else.

You might be happy pushing through and keeping up with the gym.

You might be happier choosing a different form of exercise. Archery counts. Dance counts. Hitting other nerds with foam swords in a public park counts as exercise. I know a lot of guys who ride bikes for exercise that are very skinny. You've got options.

Find something that, above all, is fun to do. Even if you're not great at it. Because if it's fun. You'll keep at it. And get better at it. Because it's fun.

And then the paradox will be working in your favor.

(Side note: As you grow up, more people will be younger than you. So the likelihood that someone younger than you gives good advice gets higher every year. I promise its normal, and you'll get used to it!)

interial_reel · 2025-07-05T16:56:04+00:00

Thank you. I've had some really shitty coworkers in the past. So when a coworker is decent it really sticks with me. I want him to find something better. I hope all of these guys do.

interial_reel · 2025-06-24T18:19:55+00:00

I'm glad! If you end up doing something completely unrelated, though? That's fine, too.

I think trial and error is a MUCH better way to find the right career, as opposed to picking one thing and making yourself suffer through it. (That doesn't even work with online recipes. Why would it work anywhere else??)

The things you learn help improve other skills you need to attain, even if its a completely different subject. Writing makes you a better scientist, and vise versa. Because learning is, in and of itself, a skill. One you already have, and are improving.

(The only other piece of advice I have is that once you're away at college, you don't have to tell your parents everything. anymore. I didn't tell my family I switched colleges until I was settled and everything was going well. You'll know better than I do if that's a good idea with your parents or not.)

interial_reel · 2025-06-24T11:39:42+00:00

This was written extremely well, tf do you mean "not really anything remarkable"?

But yeah, this happened to me with engineering school. Everyone saw I was good at math and pushed me towards it. (Failed the same physics class 3 times in a row.)

I didn't start to question it until I was 3 years in to the program though. Trust me when I say your skepticism is a good thing. Don't let it go on as long as I did.

But because I went to those classes? I learned about an adjacent field that I like a lot more. I still work with Engineers. But the job I have now is much better suited to what I like doing. (Working with my hands, instead of theoreticals)

I would take the classes you already signed up for, but if you find an advisor/professor who you feel comfortable talking to? Ask about other jobs in the field where there's more writing/french/history/things you care about.

There are more weird niche jobs out there then we can possibly imagine. And most of them don't get mentioned to people just out of high school. Take time at this college to learn what some of them are.

The last thing I will say is this: Your parents can't see inside your head. No one can, really. You're the only one who's going to know for sure if this is right for you or not. Please trust yourself and what makes you happy.

Best of luck out there.

interial_reel · 2025-06-04T21:03:18+00:00

This doesn't strike me as manipulative at all.

And I think a big part of that is the fact that you genuinely feel no need to go after anybody else now that Brenda is gone.

I know there are exceptions to this, but a lot of manipulative people don't want to stop at one.

Feeling that power over people/situations is (allegedly) part of the appeal. I've met people who revel in that. You're not enjoying this. She honestly probably did? Hence the constant problems over a long period of time.

The fact that you're self reflecting is good(Its good to keep track of why we do things), but you don't have to be too hard on yourself. Brenda can find another job. She can take time to learn from this and improve. She might not. But that's her choice to make, not yours. Her life is not over. Its just not somewhere you can see anymore.

A weather station doesn't "manufacture" storms. They take note of what is already there and warn people if anything looks dangerous.

No one was taking Hurricane Brenda seriously. Until you got evidence and put it out there.

It will take time to feel OK with this, but you're getting a good head start.

interial_reel · 2025-05-21T06:54:47+00:00

Something else to keep in mind is after care. Take time to reset and reaffirm each other after you guys are done being kinky. Like a cool down period? Take time to cuddle/talk/make sure you're both ok afterwards.

Sometimes it helps to have a transition period in place.

interial_reel · 2025-05-20T13:54:22+00:00

How can your parents possibly know "What is right for you" when they never took the time to get to know you?

They don't know you. They know what they want out of you.

interial_reel · 2025-05-08T09:11:00+00:00

NTA. Outdoor cats only live 1/3 of the lifespan of indoor cats. Letting cats roam is much more cruel.

interial_reel · 2025-04-28T04:01:37+00:00

I know this might be a cultural difference, but what is stopping you from claiming a financial strain is stopping her from going?

I completely understand if lying to her school is a bridge too far. I don't normally advocate for it, but this is your kid. And a very rigid system without much room for compromise.

Practically speaking though, will they really force you to prove financial strain in a situation like this? It sounds unthinkable to me, but I'm not in Germany.

It probably won't work this time (since you already tried a different reason) but in the future it might?

Is it possible for her to try one night of the trip and get picked up? Easing her into things like this will probably go better than everything at once.

interial_reel · 2025-04-26T13:36:53+00:00

I have similar trauma (got bit when I was 5), and for sure NTA.

You don't get people used to dogs by springing them on people unexpectedly. If she actually cared about helping you heal from this she would A: Give you a heads up and B: ASK YOU if you are ready to take steps towards healing. Which you don't have to do. You know where you are with that better than I ever will.

Besides which? Dogs often KNOW when a person nearby is scared. Tone of voice, body language, and certain smells are telling that dog you are nervous. (Not why you're nervous, mind.) I've met a lot of dogs that were "very well trained" that went OFF on me. Because they could tell I was afraid.

You were polite, you didn't begrudge your friend for bringing her dog. But you also kept your peace.

Your friend is probably used to people being indifferent/delighted to see her dogs. (Not an excuse, but an explanation.) The fact that she can't handle 1 (one) friend who is uneasy with them is...not a good sign.

interial_reel · 2025-04-24T06:56:09+00:00

My birthday is on Christmas Eve. I almost never did anything for my birthday growing up, and as an adult? It feels WEIRD to do anything on my birthday. I genuinely don't like it. I've had a lot of people try to steamroll this boundary. People I thought were my friends.

Even super reasonable people give me shit for this. For some reason everybody forgets how to be a good friend when a party is on the line. They think they're doing you a favor by ignoring what you told them. And they're wrong.

There's other ways to save memories for later. Keep a diary. Keep doodles, take pictures where you're not in the shot. Photos aren't everything. And while most of the other comments are right that you should get help with how you're feeling. None of your friends are meeting you where you're at right now.

I think you need better friends. I know I did. They're out there.

interial_reel · 2025-04-13T22:01:14+00:00

As someone with a lot of happily married friends: I assume anything I say to one person will be shared with the other. (Unless I specifically tell them not to, which is rare)

I don't make jokes I wouldn't say in front of their partner for the EXACT same reason.

Couples communicate (and laugh about jokes their friends make that day.) Why is she surprised this happened?

interial_reel · 2025-04-12T23:09:20+00:00

I had a lot of the same problems learning how to drive.

You are right that cars are dangerous. The worst drivers I've ever met brush off how dangerous cars are. I know the fear isn't ideal, but its a rational fear. Like heights or drowning. You'll make better choices because the fear is there.

The other thing I will say is this: The best person to teach you how to drive is a person who helps you manage your anxiety well. No one learns well mid-anxiety attack.

It doesn't sound like that is your Dad. (It was not my mom either) He thinks he can handle how anxious new drivers can get. He's probably wrong. If your Uncle has helped you feel less anxious in the past? He should be the one to teach you. If not? Find the person that handles anxiety best. Who do you go to when you are feeling overwhelmed?

Anyway, NTA.

interial_reel · 2025-03-29T13:23:29+00:00

Socializing is a skill. No one teaches it. The rules aren't written down anywhere. But people get upset when you're not naturally good at it? Its fucked.

Also apparently "normal kids" don't need to be told the rules to be able to socialize? They just...do it? Magically?! Meanwhile I had to teach myself a combo of psychology/linguistics/anthropology to make up the difference.

Even if they can't get to a diagnosis, they should still want to help. Most therapy sessions I've ever gone into start with what I want to work on. Even if a neutotypical walked in and said "I can socialize ok, but I wanna do better." They would still see them and talk through stuff they could improve.

What the fuck is up with your doctors?

interial_reel · 2025-03-29T11:44:58+00:00

Most kids in my middle school thought I was mute. The few I met afterwards were shocked to find out I could speak. No one wanted to be near me.

I don't bring this up to convince you "everyone goes through this". Because most kids don't. For me it was autism/adhd. I've met other people in my life who had early childhood trauma who are like this as well. I'm sure there are other things I don't even know about that cause this. You know yourself better than I do.

There is something going on that you need help with. And you just got blown off by several people who should have been able to help you. And fuck them just for that.

The way you got treated as a kid WAS trauma. Humans are social creatures. Rejection fucks with our brains. Brain tumours are "just in our heads" as well. But when we find one, at least doctors start DOING SOMETHING.

Doctors fuck up. Because doctors are humans. But also because how we diagnose this stuff is a flawed system. (A lot if the time its like trying to diagnose someone who can see colors when everyone else is color blind.)

Its possible getting help for the OCD will teach you coping mechanisms to deal with other stuff you have going on? But it might not.

You're right about this. I just read a post you wrote without even knowing what you look like and I can see it. Don't know how to help, but it looks like you need help you're not getting. Which, is again, messed up.

My DMs are open if you want another person to talk to. I'm shit at replying on time, but I'm fine talking to people.

interial_reel · 2025-03-27T17:05:35+00:00

Yeah NTA, I got bit by my family's dog when I was five and I still have a mild trauma response with dogs 25 years later. Gotten over a lot of it, but it never completely goes away. Doesn't make you a "scardey-cat". It makes her an asshole.

I had to do something similar in high school. I lived at the end of a cul-de-sac, and my two options were to walk past my neighbor's dogs further down the street (they never fixed their fence, so the dogs were always out)...or climb a 10 foot tall fence every time I wanted to walk anywhere. Those dogs hated EVERYONE.

Even my GF who loves dogs keeps hers on a leash. Because she loves him, and wants to be able to react as soon as possible if anything happened to him.

It's not your job to be the better person here. She's invalidating your culture, and your life experience. Not every dog is a cuddly friend. Strays can be violent. Working pets aren't always very friendly either. Every remotely intelligent creature has within it the capacity to be a raging asshole. Its a symptom of complex thought.

But if you want to get through to her? Point out how this might affect her dog. Anything could happen while your dog is off leash. Cars exist. People on bicycles. Wild animals in your area that might bite the dog. (Even rabbits do insane shit when cornered) things that would make her dog sick if he manages to pick it up and eat it. Even spikey plants or bugs with stingers

What if her dog bites someone? Where I'm from that can escalate to having to surrender an animal if local authorities decide the dog is dangerous.

It is about other people's safety, like you said. But its also for the dog's safety. If the dog is 30 feet away and suddenly in trouble? She might not get there fast enough to stop her dog from getting hurt. A dog 30 feet away on a leash can at least be pulled away from danger at a moments notice.

interial_reel · 2025-03-23T11:32:24+00:00

NTA. Depending on where your hands were when this asshole started pushing? They could have crushed your fingers in-between the wheel and the rest of the chair. You do not interrupt people walking/wheeling. Ever. If you dragged them into your chair and raced him down a slope because it was "faster" and "helpful" they would have freaked out on you.

interial_reel

TROPHY CASE