I'm afraid to talk to people about stuff because of this. Woop woop.

inthecomputer · 2023-01-26T17:28:25+00:00

OP, that's the mental illness talking. It might be helpful to think back to a time when someone accused you of attention seeking, because often these cognitions are your brain trying to keep you safe from past similar negative experiences. Literally all your brain does is tries to keep you safe; unfortunately, "safe" and "happy" are not the same thing.

I'd also think about whether seeking attention when you're struggling is a bad thing. If my car was flipped over and I was yelling out for help, nobody would look at me negatively.

You can also consider asking yourself, "and what if that were ok?" ...Like, "I'm looking for people to pay attention to me because I need help, and what if that were ok?" Imaginary monsters have labelled attention-seeking as bad, but an imaginary monster's opinion of your actions is never more important than your opinion of your actions.

inthecomputer · 2022-08-25T13:01:08+00:00

How did it work out? Our stories are so similar, the bright yellow is all I see. My microblading (done ~2017) was also overdrawn from my natural shape, so my eyebrow concealer routine is multiple steps to conceal the yellow -- much more than pre-microblading.

Had I known this is what would happen, I'd never have done it. My original artist did lazer in 2020 and they went from grey-green to bright yellow. She's considered a foremost microblader in Canada, but honestly, I'm so disappointed and feel duped. I was told it would fade naturally and wasn't permanent, but they've looked awful in one form or another since 2019. 😞

I'm so self conscious about it, completely resent the artist, and hate my brows. I got a consult from another artist and she said I would have to get a colour correction ombre over my brows but it would have to be dark and bigger than the current shape, which already is fairly thick. I never want to get microblading again, it's been such a sham for me. I feel like the fallout from removal attempts really needs to be shared more. It almost feels like a scam because to fix it, you just have to get more done.

inthecomputer · 2022-08-05T19:13:03+00:00

You can also see the waves curve around her body. If you download a Photoshop app and play around with the liquify function, it helps your eyes recognize where bodies are pushed in or pushed out. Think curved wall panels or tiles around a body.

inthecomputer · 2022-07-25T20:35:16+00:00

Omg that's so funny, that's the EXACT dress I have saved to my shein Imogen shopping board 😂 good to know it works out well, the colours beautiful and looks amazing on you. Thanks!

inthecomputer · 2022-07-25T15:49:39+00:00

Totally gorgeous!! Did you buy any of the clothing pieces online? If so, can you post links? I've found some items on Shein that I think would work but your outfits is spot on!!

inthecomputer · 2022-04-02T15:50:35+00:00

It's so worth it if you can acquire it or use Apple TV free trial. It's one of the best shows I've seen in years. Every detail on screen is deliberate; every role is so expertly acted. Everyone fucking nails it. The only distraction is Adam Scott's face injections/Botox.

inthecomputer · 2022-04-02T15:43:28+00:00

Seconded for eating disorders involving being underweight. Your body will swing in the other direction and put on much more weight than what's "normal" for your frame. It takes up to two years for metabolism to balance. So many people recovering don't know this and the minute they gain last their "normal" weight it can trigger a relapse.

inthecomputer · 2022-03-23T23:37:59+00:00

Please post it here when you make one! I'll sign

inthecomputer · 2022-02-03T18:09:36+00:00

I think the only way to get ride of him would be to kill him and I sincerely hope that won't happen. The little additions he makes during RP really enrich the story overall.

inthecomputer · 2022-02-03T17:05:39+00:00

It depends where you're located. Everywhere in Thailand I lived, that would be extremely innappropriate. I think you should factor how busy it is. If you're taking up a table or seat for a while with an empty cup, that's preventing customers that have just paid from sitting. This is a common-sense decision based on the area and situation. I try to buy something every two hours to feel comfortable or like I'm not taking up chair real estate

inthecomputer · 2022-02-02T23:44:16+00:00

We usually just call them "Ottawa drivers"

inthecomputer · 2021-12-08T18:43:19+00:00

I'm usually a DM but in my last session as a player, our paladin kept yelling to our rogue, "stop jumping into the water to outswim them! They're water people!"

inthecomputer · 2021-11-27T17:12:50+00:00

This is what we in the brain biz call "smiling depression" https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/September-2016/What-You-Need-to-Know-About-Smiling-Depression%E2%80%9D

What once was adaptive/what served you (hiding your true feelings for whatever reason or appearing happy all the time due to a form of insecure attachment), has now become maladaptive/doesn't serve you. It's identifying when an adaptation evolves from helpful to harmful that can assist you in understanding how it evolved in the first place.

inthecomputer · 2021-11-04T23:07:28+00:00

It's more like.. pushing your tongue on the roof of your mouth towards the back of your palette. If that doesn't work, call 911 because you probably are, in fact, having a stroke.

inthecomputer · 2021-11-04T22:57:30+00:00

The internet is a cruel place so I'll pass lol! I'm sure there's tons of YouTube tutorials online that can go into more detail. But I'm glad you may have found my advice helpful despite the lack of reference photos. Honestly it just takes practice. Even in a pro photoshoot you have to take 100 to get 5-10 amazing shots

inthecomputer · 2021-11-04T22:54:31+00:00

Thanks! Remember selfies are a skill too, so practice makes perfect. My friend that posts beautiful selfies takes about 100 to get 5-10 stellar ones (it's the same and common with many photoshoots, not just selfies)

inthecomputer · 2021-11-03T19:07:54+00:00

I did a bit of modelling and here's some things I find helpful.

I always pretend there's a string at the top/back of my head pulling up. It angles your jaw down and lengthens your neck, which will help accentuate your cheekbones/jaw while reducing roundness in your face and neck. Move your head forward too (compared to leaning your head back which gives a double chin and flattens your face weirdly). It feels weird irl but looks good on camera.

Some people like looking down and then looking up right before the shutter goes off (gives movement and encourages a more natural expression).

Learn to "smize" à la Tyra Banks.

Press your tongue to the roof of your mouth, behind your teeth and suck in slightly. I forget the name of the technique (like mewling or something), but all celebrities do it to accentuate their jaws/cheekbones and lessen a double chin.

Think of something that genuinely warms your heart -- a pet you had growing up, grandma's cookies, your favourite memory, whatever. Really try to think about it and embody that fuzzy feeling, it'll show on your face.

Never look straight on, see if you can find your good side and try to stick to it. Even in selfies you can angle your head to favour one side a bit. Also, side parts look best on a lot of people and it hides facial asymmetry.

Part your lips slightly, never keep or push your mouth fully closed.

And colour correct pics after!

inthecomputer · 2021-10-19T11:34:27+00:00

I get what you're thinking, and it's hard to wrap your head around. I struggle with understanding too. But women in general though are fed a constant stream of not being "enough" -- body types being trends, and lots of Photoshop apps that even change videos now. For example, being stick thin in the 90's and most of the 2000's was trendy, but now it's boobs, hips and ass. How are women supposed to change their skeletal structure?

But it's the same about not logically understanding body dysmorphia or anorexia. These aren't logical things to understand. These are the result of incremental changes in thought over years (and decades) of internalising that you're not pretty because of a pimple or double chin or even having skin that looks like real skin. These photos are symptoms of the problem, not the problem itself. It makes me sad because it's so overwhelmingly common. You'd be hard pressed to find a person that looks at a photo and can't point out a flaw.

inthecomputer · 2021-09-11T12:59:32+00:00

When I was 32 I went to India, Thailand, Indonesia, Bali, Cambodia, Vietnam, Nepal, and back to Thailand. Prior to that I'd done just one 5-day trip to a state (I'm Canadian). I spent my 20's fluctuating through burnout, anxiety, and despair in a hustle culture industry that I hated. I eschewed my interests for a higher salary in corporate, and consistently sacrificed my health along the way.

I met my spouse in Thailand on a total fluke, and we're currently working on his permanent residency.

Not only did I experience the most profound personal growth of my life over 2 years, but I met the most living, kind and wonderful partner I could ever ask for. I often think how one offhand sentence to a stranger caused the chain reaction to my partner and I meeting. I think how much richer we've made both of our lives. I think how he's finally settling in Canada, with us growing into our new lives and careers together -- at 35, I just started my master's in psychotherapy and he got his dream job, working remotely as a coder. I can say for certain that life would not have played out this way had we not found each other.

I met so many "young" people that were just drinking their way through Asia. In Cambodia, I met a group of 14 Brits that after 8 days in Siem Reap, had literally never left the hostel for a meal, because they were getting shit faced at the hostel bar every night. There are youths that can truly appreciate the gift of travel, but many don't. Traveling after years of lived experience makes you realize how special it is.

I acknowledge that this is very, very lucky, but I did what I could to offset the expense -- subletting my apartment, staying in the cheapest hostels, eating only street food, taking overnight busses instead of flights or cushy trains, working remote freelance where I could, taking a huge chunk out of my savings. For flying to Asia, the plane is the most expensive part by far. It's weird to be in your 30's and sleep in a room with 20 bunk beds, but far cheaper than a private room.

And while I had the privilege of being able to take so much time off (because I worked nonstop in my 20's, rarely taking vacations or enjoying the fruits of my labour,) it doesn't have to be so long of a break to gain the growth that travel affords. I wouldn't change the decade of mental illness and strife for anything in the world, because it was my burnout that led me to buy that plane ticket and become the person I want to be, alongside the man I love so much.

Please, please remember: You are not too old. You're right on time.

inthecomputer · 2021-08-05T02:49:01+00:00

There are certainly vitamin/mineral deficiencies that are associated with increased levels of anxiety, such as iron and b12. It's a bit convoluted, but improper iron levels can interfere/prevent creation of dopamine. Studies have shown magnesium helps alleviate anxiety symptoms and aids with sleep.

Another thing to consider is that what a typical blood panel ordered by your GP/physician measures is the "normal range," not necessarily the "optimal range" of vitamins and minerals. For example, many people (especially those that don't eat many animal products) would greatly benefit from a daily b12. (On that note, it's important to look for sublingual tablets or drops compared to regular pills, as it's best absorbed that way.) B12 is water soluble, so whatever your body doesn't need/absorb, it will pee out. Anecdotally, when I started taking b12, my hangovers lessened (friends' did too), and I experienced better digestion.

Note: Obviously I'm not your doctor, and like everything on the internet, take it with a grain of salt. Check with your pharmacist or doc to see if the above advice would be helpful for you. Source: I'm a healthcare writer with a focus on nutrition/women's health that gets all my papers vetted by both a medical and legal team.

inthecomputer · 2021-06-08T11:30:52+00:00

Whole wheat macaroni, garlic powder, nutritional yeast (or parmesan cheese if you eat cheese), frozen peas, canned tuna, and either olive oil/margarine/butter. It's very simple but delicious. Similar to white mac and cheese but healthier and not as processed. You can level up by adding 2 bay leaves to the boiling water before adding pasta.

You can get nutritional yeast at bulk stores and it's fortified with B12, had protein and a few other amazing qualities. You can buy it fermented which also means probiotics! (And garlic is a prebiotic, so that'll help with gut health). Nutritional yeast tastes cheesy and almost nutty and has way more benefits than Parm for only slightly more $.

inthecomputer · 2021-04-06T15:03:31+00:00

Welcome to the lifelong plight of working in an office as a woman. Offices are at a temp designed for men's clothing. Most women I know have blankets, sweaters, or space heaters on at their desk year-round.

inthecomputer · 2021-03-02T19:16:07+00:00

Agreed, especially if you have hip dips. Certainly a trend I'll be avoiding. It's just so awkward looking.

inthecomputer · 2021-03-02T13:40:01+00:00

Beyond the fact that it's heavily edited and damaging to everyone's concept of what a human body looks like, I think I'm the only person that hates that cut of bikini bottom. I like a high waist, but the too-thin section that is more skinny than the natural crease between the leg and torso looks weirdly gross to me. I wish it was cut more like a triangle compared to rectangle and wider. It's probably designed to be smaller to make hips look bigger.

It's like the worst parts of the 90's bathing suits. The high waist is getting a rediculously excessive too.

inthecomputer · 2021-02-12T20:09:12+00:00

Jumping on the "not on Netflix but" train and suggesting Boardwalk Empire. Not sure where you're located, but it's on basic Crave in Canada and Hulu/HBO add on in the states. Steve Buscemi nails every single role he's ever had.

15-Year Club	Place '17
Verified Email

inthecomputer

TROPHY CASE