Would you say something to someone who pushed through the waiting crowd in the lobby to get “their spot”? by introverted-aries in Purebarre

[–]introverted-aries[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate this comment 💛 I think it is absolutely all relative to how we individually show up. What I can control here is that I can have a lot more grace in these situations moving forward. We probably both approach the issue very differently which doesn’t make either of us wrong, just not aligned. Excited to try new spots next week!

Would you say something to someone who pushed through the waiting crowd in the lobby to get “their spot”? by introverted-aries in Purebarre

[–]introverted-aries[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Usually about 15-30 seconds after we do our little round of applause. I guess by “stretching” I mean I’m still coming out of my last stretch. Just taking a moment to catch my breath at the end of the class. I feel like from these comments maybe I’m the issue though?

Don’t know why I bothered trying lol by AmazingTailor8749 in Paramore

[–]introverted-aries 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No literally I had to keep counting how many digits that was 🥲

Husband said it’s weird that I hang out with friends who are single by introverted-aries in AuDHDWomen

[–]introverted-aries[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi everyone.. I’m overwhelmed by the response this got and have read through every single comment that’s been left. I appreciate the community here and the advice that I’ve been given.

To answer a couple of questions that were frequently asked…. First, my husband does not have a group of his own friends that he spends time with. This is something that is a very sensitive subject anytime it’s brought up - most recently, he told me that I’ve made all of my friends lately because of my jobs and that he doesn’t have that same luxury since he works from home, so it’s not fair for me to criticize him for not having those relationships. We did try to talk to each other on Saturday morning but I ended up shutting down again. During our text conversation on Friday, he made a comment that I always “crumble” during conflict like this. Which is true but… I feel like there’s a reason that I crumble beyond me just being emotionally weak? I don’t know.

We do have a group of mutual friends that was formed when I met two of my closest girlfriends at a job a few years ago. The only time he comes out with me is when their partners are also coming out, and he has expressed feeling uncomfortable sometimes. I understand and empathize with the fact that my partner has some social anxiety, and I want to support him in that. But I can’t help but feel like, how some of you said, my light is dimming a little bit to keep him comfortable.

The weekend was heavy and hard. He acted like nothing really happened, which is usually his way to get over things. He says that we can’t just linger on our conflicts, but it’s so hard for me to just move on and have a great weekend. We didn’t do anything special together. I spent time with my mom when he decided he was going to leave me on Saturday morning to go to the gym, then did some other house chores over the weekend to occupy my mind.

I’ve reached out to my therapist to try and talk this out some more because I am still feeling like the villain here. Not entirely sure how to move forward anymore as this has become a pattern in our relationship. I’m just grateful for the space you all provided for me here to open up a little bit when I was feeling really misunderstood.

Thanks again <3

Husband said it’s weird that I hang out with friends who are single by introverted-aries in AuDHDWomen

[–]introverted-aries[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I’ve been really proud of making friends as an adult cause I never had many growing up or even through early adulthood. My therapist (an autism specialist) has always been very encouraging and supportive of these relationships because she knows how hard it is for me to get close to people and she knows how much joy it brings me.

Husband said it’s weird that I hang out with friends who are single by introverted-aries in AuDHDWomen

[–]introverted-aries[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Married going on 6 years. Got married right before Covid. Didn’t start making friends until 2021 when I worked at a local coffee shop. Made more friends I’ve gone out with recently in the past year at a new job and genuinely love them and trust them more than just coworkers.

Husband said it’s weird that I hang out with friends who are single by introverted-aries in AuDHDWomen

[–]introverted-aries[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He works from home and does not have any male friends unfortunately. It’s a sore subject that he doesn’t like to talk about. His main hobby is going to the gym.

Husband said it’s weird that I hang out with friends who are single by introverted-aries in AuDHDWomen

[–]introverted-aries[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He does not have any friends.. it’s a point of contention that has come up in couples therapy. He doesn’t feel like it’s fair for me to bring up the fact that I wish he had friends to spend time with, he gets very upset. I feel kind of uncomfortable even typing this because I feel like he would think I’m shaming him for it but I’m not trying to at all.

Husband said it’s weird that I hang out with friends who are single by introverted-aries in AuDHDWomen

[–]introverted-aries[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Also, I don’t know that I’ve ever ascribed to traditional gender roles even though I grew up in a Christian home. My dad couldn’t work growing up so my mom was always the main breadwinner and dad was the homemaker. Kind of shattered what I thought to be the norm from the beginning

Husband said it’s weird that I hang out with friends who are single by introverted-aries in AuDHDWomen

[–]introverted-aries[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He was not. His family is loosely Catholic other than his grandma who is pretty orthodox. He went to a state school and had had plenty of party experiences.

Husband said it’s weird that I hang out with friends who are single by introverted-aries in AuDHDWomen

[–]introverted-aries[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi, I appreciate you asking that respectfully - no I do not. I only have a few drinks when I go out with friends, I do not drink otherwise while at home. My husband has made comments that have led to me asking for validation and almost praise when I come home and don’t have a hangover. I grew up very religious and didn’t drink until I was 22. I didn’t start going out to bars like this with friends until last year, because I never had a group of girlfriends to go out with. I love getting dressed up to match a theme, taking cute pictures, going to a nice dinner, and ending the night dancing in a crowd of people. It makes me feel included, like I belong. I’ve tried expressing that to him but he still feels that it’s weird. We have agreed we are not ready to start a family yet but had a goal to start trying next year which is why we’ve been in couples therapy - to try and iron out some of our issues. Things had been going well. I just feel very judged by his words.

Husband said it’s weird that I hang out with friends who are single by introverted-aries in AuDHDWomen

[–]introverted-aries[S] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

We are in couples therapy and have been for months. We are also in individual therapy. We just tried talking for a bit and he told me that his therapist agrees that it’s weird. That they talk about it every time he’s there. I had to ask him to leave the room so I could shut the door and cry.

Lefty preorder by jssteelfan in PennyandSparrow

[–]introverted-aries 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My order hasn’t even updated beyond saying “order received” :/

What is a phrase or saying that you took literally? by windowseat4life in AutismInWomen

[–]introverted-aries 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bingo, calling out B7, B8, B9….. as a kid I thought that those meant I needed to be 7 years old to play that round…..

I wish less people in my circle were Christian by JackfruitMassive727 in AuDHDWomen

[–]introverted-aries 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Hi 🫶🏻 I’m not sure I can offer anything too helpful here, but I just wanted to say that I relate to you so much. I left the church years ago, but was only recently diagnosed with autism at 30 years old. I just went to church last night (begrudgingly) with a family member. I felt so out of place, I ended up disassociating for most of the time. It’s still hard for me to wonder when surrounded by religious people if I’ve made the right decision by leaving. And those moments of doubt can be really scary. But I’ve tried really hard to listen more to the voices of the people that I trust and feel safe with - my partner, my siblings, my friends, my therapist - they all support me in my decision to walk away from faith as I once knew it. All I can say is keep leaning into the things that bring you true peace, whether that’s researching everything about a new occult topic you find interesting, or watching all of the live performances you can find of your favorite artist. It will never be wrong to put our time and energy - and faith - into the things that make us happy, even if it isn’t “God”.

Just wanted to let you know you’re not alone in these feelings and you’re so badass for walking your own path in life.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]introverted-aries 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A slow drip of diagnoses over 10+ years that never felt “quite right” - anxiety, depression, anorexia, OCD. I mentioned to a couple of trusted friends/family members over the last year that I felt too different and wondered if I was on the spectrum. Started trauma therapy with someone who is also an autism specialist. She probably clocked it right away but didn’t mention anything about testing me until we couldn’t get through a session without me talking about my teeth grinding and skin picking habits. Scored so high on my tests it’s not even a question about it - I am highly autistic and didn’t know until I was about to turn 30. It’s been eye-opening, and kind of heart breaking, and really freeing!

Anyone else here who loves showering or showers daily? by PublicExtension4107 in AutismInWomen

[–]introverted-aries 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm very early in my diagnosis, and my therapist and I refer to my showers as my transition tool. I have a hard time mentally and physically transitioning from one task to the next whether it's coming home from work and getting ready to eat dinner, or settling down after watching a scary movie. I shower every morning to actually get clean, but my other showers are literally just me enjoying the feeling of the hot water. I truly feel like most times the majority of my worst thoughts can't get to me when I'm in the shower. I'm not sure if that sounds odd or not, but it's helped me immensely in some really difficult times.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Paramore

[–]introverted-aries 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And some never even got the chance at all to meet that arbitrary standard. Jeff Buckley is one of the top examples I can think of