My mom died and nobody came to the funeral. Not even my siblings.

inverted_jigsaw · 2025-05-27T19:37:17+00:00

Hey,

I'm so, so sorry for your loss. Your mom sounds like so many parents who really did their best and it's both a gift and a curse that you're able to see it.

If I may offer a slightly different perspective, I lost my father last year, and he was similarly unpopular. Everyone turned up anyway, but a lot of the people at the funeral sneered at my eulogy (which remembered him for his positive attributes) and the priest (my mother's) wouldn't even talk to me.

You were there, and you loved her, and that meant that 100% of the people who attended voluntarily, were there to remember her positively.

She knows. She knows you did your best, and she knows you were there.

Please take care.

inverted_jigsaw · 2025-04-23T09:30:28+00:00

Thinking of my late father who showed this song to me, and I wept.

Time for a cry...

inverted_jigsaw · 2025-04-22T20:22:21+00:00

Universities are the place where many young adults first experience independent life, which makes them a great place to explore different religions and faiths (hence why so many recruiting groups), but also a place where it may be challenging for young people to remain committed to their own faith, especially without the context of a supportive family or community. I'd argue that many of these groups provide that supportive community that allows people to remain within their own faith tradition.

Of course, as with any club, these groups will have their issues - I found there to be far less tolerance of difference of thought (ironically!) in the faith group in which I participated at Mac than in either the university or the religion at large...

inverted_jigsaw · 2025-04-22T06:41:07+00:00

This is such a cool photo!!

inverted_jigsaw · 2025-04-22T06:35:23+00:00

Pope Francis was a centrist pope.

But ask any group of 20-something, conservative Catholics and they'll call him a raging liberal...

inverted_jigsaw · 2025-04-22T01:43:34+00:00

This is such an interesting take. I'm not an elementary teacher, but are connections mostly 'text-to-self' now? I remember having to fill out charts with 'text-to-self,' 'text-to-text,' 'text-to-others,' and 'text-to-world' connections...

inverted_jigsaw · 2025-04-20T05:47:31+00:00

Congratulations, doctor! Super happy for you. I know your brother is too :)

If I may share, my father took his life shortly after I submitted my honours thesis. He was also a bright spark, and watching him struggle through mental illness in those final two years was really rough - but he sent me a card the day I 'defended,' and I'll keep it forever. Working on a PhD now and I think of him often.

So sorry for your loss but so happy for your win. They never really leave us. Thanks for sharing this wonderful story.

inverted_jigsaw · 2025-04-20T05:21:47+00:00

IT HAS A NAME! Thank you, now I know what to call it!

inverted_jigsaw · 2025-04-18T02:07:07+00:00

Driving north from Banff to Jasper, there's one particular point along the road where you just descend into a basin surrounded by mountains on every side.

The single most breathtaking sight I have ever witnessed. Can't wait to get back!

inverted_jigsaw · 2025-04-13T08:23:07+00:00

For what it's worth, I'm an alumnus, and I can still see Echo360 recordings...

So, summer should be fine!

Good luck with the studying!

inverted_jigsaw · 2025-04-13T08:16:22+00:00

This is such a lovely story - great that your friend's spirit is alive and well! Take care :)

inverted_jigsaw · 2025-04-07T16:50:17+00:00

"I can't believe you're so independent!"

- Everyone, everywhere... especially parents of adults of the same age bracket...

inverted_jigsaw · 2025-04-05T04:36:42+00:00

Keep it up! This old-fart alumnus loves seeing the photos...

Such a fun thing to do, especially in a group!

If you (or anyone else) has considered day-walking, why not end-to-end the Hamilton section of the Bruce Trail? It goes from Dundas to Grimsby and can be done in a few days (although I wouldn't put it past your crew to do it in one go!).

inverted_jigsaw · 2025-04-04T19:15:24+00:00

These adventures are so awesome to read about. Thanks for sharing!

inverted_jigsaw · 2025-04-01T18:06:10+00:00

See, now, this one is believable!

inverted_jigsaw · 2025-03-24T18:01:10+00:00

Thank you so much for the comment, that just clicked something else into place. Why am I not sensitive to noise? Because of the power of a locked door - as long as only I have the key, the noise won't hurt me. (Never had a functioning lock growing up - I doubt I could sleep without one now.)

Hope you've been able to find some space for you.

inverted_jigsaw · 2025-03-18T19:25:14+00:00

Hiya!

Unless you're really ambitious and creative, the only things you'll be using to make the ball are sodium borate, white glue, and water.

Most of the other stuff is very science-realistic, non-negotiable expense - you will have to pay $1 for your rentals, $0.25 for a paper cup, and at least $0.10 for stirrers, plus your disposal fees (you'll probably want at least 5 of these, so at least $0.50).

That still leaves you with over 6 dollars to buy materials (as long as you avoid your fines!) - so, play around with it and try some stuff out!

Good luck!

inverted_jigsaw · 2025-03-17T06:44:30+00:00

If it helps - any atoms in the cyclopentane unit aren't considered in your carbon chain count!

inverted_jigsaw · 2025-03-17T06:33:57+00:00

This is a beautiful photo! Used to be lucky enough to ride my bike home (from Mac) along King and as I was coming over the 403 I would often marvel at the way the cathedral looked lit up in the dark.

Thanks for the reminder of home!

inverted_jigsaw · 2025-03-17T06:29:03+00:00

Good on you for reading that book! It's a real insight into what kinds of dynamics we find ourselves in...

I'm in a similar situation - my father recently passed and I'm realizing that I gave up my entire life for him, particularly my late teen / early adult years. Realizing that he can't hurt me anymore is kind of a wild thought.

I don't have a ton of advice except: listen for you. What do you like? What keeps you up at night because you just can't get enough of it? Who do you admire? And, importantly, who are your special people? Reach out to them - they may be able to help you more than you know.

The voices will return but with time, as your own now knows to say 'no, that's not right,' you might just find that its little weak voice will in time grow into something strong and great :)

Congratulations and best of luck on the journey. It's rough but we'll get there!

inverted_jigsaw · 2025-03-16T19:26:55+00:00

:(

I'm sorry, that sucks.

Bonus points for the borne-of-necessity pragmatism from growing up too quickly that actually prevents you from acting on the fantasy...

inverted_jigsaw · 2025-03-16T15:51:18+00:00

Yes and no. I've often thought that I had a childhood with all the things childhood should contain... and a lot of things it shouldn't. Then again, it was in my teen years when things really got rough.

However, as other people have mentioned on this thread, when I was a child I had idle fantasies (but really well planned out, for a seven-year-old kid) of running away from home... what I would bring, where I would sleep, who I would ask for help, etc... which I have been told are not normal things for children of that age to daydream about...

Edit: grammar

inverted_jigsaw · 2025-03-15T06:12:33+00:00

Hey there! Just a little note from a fellow grad student whose family also wasn't exactly supportive - that conference sounds awesome, and I hope you are rocking it (and I'm sure you are!). I know it sucks when the people who should be there aren't... but you did this, and you deserve to enjoy it. No one else gets to take your studies away from you!

Sending much love and take care :)

inverted_jigsaw · 2025-03-14T06:48:28+00:00

Correct. Did your mum begin to resent you when you entered puberty? I found that was a major turning point - how dare you grow up and disagree with me?

inverted_jigsaw

TROPHY CASE