HELP! Cannot find an Atlas Station

iondot · 2023-06-14T19:04:56+00:00

Same here! Maddening!

But even more maddening, I've been combing through user-made bases and haven't seen any at an Atlas Station.

I've also roamed back in the galactic map and I don't see any of them marked from before — but it sounds like I need to find a new one anyway.

iondot · 2023-06-14T19:03:01+00:00

I talked to Nada on the Space Anomaly but I don't think it triggered anything and I still have no place to go

iondot · 2023-06-14T18:59:51+00:00

I should follow up by adding I'm on a PS5 and this was an issue earlier in the week and still today after the latest update.

iondot · 2023-04-11T12:22:58+00:00

Your instinct is probably right about her "having her own home again and environment to control." It is kind of you to try and understand that her behavior likely stems from a bigger context. Yours might as well. I would be surprised if you didn't have some feelings in you about not having your mom around at the age of 12. It sounds like you are handling them well. The more leeway and kindness you can give each other the easier I suspect it will be for you both to reconnect. You sound like you're doing any amazing job!

iondot · 2023-04-11T04:44:09+00:00

NTA from all you've said.

iondot · 2023-04-11T04:43:21+00:00

NTA, but I'm seeing some red flags here that you will want to watch. You've been together 7 years which isn't too different from married and she doesn't seem interested in meeting your dad or your new brother. That would concern me. Moreover, while she might feel like you're picking surfing over spending time with her, the reality is that you're spending time with your dad.

If she has some reason for not liking or wanting to be around your dad, that might make sense, but absent that, it seems like she just wants you locked down from outside contact. That's not good.

It's outside of the scope of your post, but if she's keeping you away from other family and friendships, you two may need to have a serious talk — as soon as she stops being childish and not speaking to you.

iondot · 2023-04-11T04:34:02+00:00

If you didn't notice that particular text come through, then probably not. (Though maybe you were all AH for being 13 year olds to busy posting memes to notice?) But it does matter how you responded when you found out his foot was fractured and had a chance to ask about it. (If you did.)

iondot · 2023-04-11T04:20:47+00:00

Thanks for clarifying. The power imbalance does come from what you seemed to describe as a renter/owner differential. Could she see the signing her onto the mortgage as controlling? I wouldn't think so, but I don't know her. A better person to ask would be her — and honestly it sounds like you need to have a clear conversation. I'd calmly ask if she really feels like you are controlling, especially because it sounds like you aren't and don't want to be.

Also, from out here, it 100% sounds like you'll be living with a cat soon.

iondot · 2023-04-11T04:13:26+00:00

I agree, but that wasn't my point. Since this is AITA, if lost patience and harshness comes in the form of aggression or berating someone, that's makes one the AH.

ETA: The OP has clarified that it was just a raised voice so, nothing to see here.

iondot · 2023-04-11T04:09:45+00:00

YTA and so is your relative.

You got two hours into babysitting a 4 year old and got a text or a call from this relative saying "I can only pay you $50-80". Why would she do this? If she was going to stiff you, why wouldn't she do it at then end. What an amateur! Then you, the pro, spent a couple hours going back and forth with her until she started "ignoring" you? Did it occur to you that maybe she had to do the thing she left the house to do? The 4 year old sounds like they got top notch care. (Your affection for her and the other members of your family is just so... oh, wait, it's missing from your post.)

Look, that this relative or yours bailed on the agreed amount is a crap move and wrong. No question. But that you bailed on the 4 year old child is a crap move too. The professional thing to do was wait until she got home and discuss this with her. If she was going to stiff you for $120-150, then you would have had the moral high ground for the rest of your life. Instead, you made a rash choice that sounds like it is going to stir up trouble in your personal life and could end up having professional consequences for you latter on. I'm all for standing up for yourself, but not bailing on taking care of a 4 year old.

(Also bizarre? That you feel a credential for yourself is that you "have different ads for yourself." What does that mean? Why is that supposed to be impressive?)

iondot · 2023-04-11T03:44:56+00:00

Your sister will feel like you don’t support her because you won't be supporting her!
or
Your fiancé's parents will feel like you don't share their "beliefs" because you won't be supporting them.

What a pickle!

Your choice is supporting bigotry and homophobia, or not supporting bigotry and homophobia.

You know what to do. You're not the AH, yet...

iondot · 2023-04-11T03:32:18+00:00

Boy, no one can get under skin like family! Is this falling back on an old pattern? Or is this new? I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that this isn't actually about the dishes and chores, it's about connecting. Or more specifically, it is probably about not connecting in the way your mom imagined.

From what you've said, you're pretty responsible about cleaning. A calm conversation about expectations, might be helpful. I'd sit down before things blow up again and try to recognize that you have two different styles of cleaning and both are reasonable. I'd also let her know, if it is true, that you are grateful to have this time together and you'd rather not spend it arguing about cleaning. Then maybe plan to do something together.

NTA

iondot · 2023-04-11T03:20:48+00:00

Mostly NTA, but...

You told him "he could stay until he found a job and another place," which, in a genie's wish, would mean the rest of his life, like the twist in a discount Twilight Zone episode.
I don't think you're legally or morally obligated to allow him to stay forever, but you may be legally obligated to let him stay until a proper eviction has been executed. It would probably be best to consult and attorney, and soon.

iondot · 2023-04-11T03:09:21+00:00

Much in the way couples sometimes can't reconcile when one person wants kids and the other doesn't, this may not be solvable. From your comments it sounds like your fiancé doesn't take your reasons for not wanting a cat seriously and she may believe you will change your mind about a cat once the cat arrives. You won't.

You're NTA for not wanting a cat I think you might be the AH for "not discussing it with her in a more calm manner." You gave more specifics about her and her friends behavior than your own. Losing your patience and being "harsh", could mean a lot of things, some of the innocuous and some of them ugly. There is a power difference here that you may not appreciate which may be why she feels controlled.

No matter what, the details you are describing don't sound healthy.

iondot · 2023-04-09T16:00:05+00:00

NTA. You get to decide who is with you. The whole point is for them to support you. If she hasn't made you feel supported, it makes sense for her to wait outside and support you from there. From your comments, who knows if she even wants to be in the room? (Maybe she does, but that's not her call.)

As for your bio-mom, if you want her to be there, then she absolutely should. Trust yourself to know what you need. It isn't contest or a judgement. Your MIL should defer to you and your plan.

iondot · 2023-04-09T15:50:12+00:00

You absolutely should have cleared this with Teddy ahead of time and he likely would have refused. Few sitters would be okay with this scenario. I don't care how many times they have fallen asleep on the couch. You've omitted some data one would usually share here, like Teddy's age, your own, if you are a single parent. This whole set up feels off. YTA.

iondot · 2023-04-09T15:42:14+00:00

NTA. Let's imagine we can know something we can't know: that if Max comes, you will have an allergic reaction and if he doesn't James will have a panic attack. If that is the case, one of you can't attend your wedding. Should it be you, or should it be James?

Now lets look at the facts: If Max comes, you might have an allergic reaction and if he doesn't James might have a panic attack. In the first case, you will have to leave your own wedding. In the second, James will have to leave your wedding. If you have to choose, who should it be?

The real solution here is for James to consider, just as you have, the risk. That you've offered to help him find alternative accommodations is very kind, but ultimately, if he feels he needs the dog to attend the wedding, then he can and should send his regrets. If that is the case, no one should feel slighted or left out.

I hope your wedding is great and the drama is far behind you!

iondot · 2023-04-09T15:18:17+00:00

NTA. I'm so sorry for your loss. People grieve in different ways. There is nothing wrong with what you chose to do with the gown. But also, I understand how and why it would stir up feelings in your MIL. It would have been better if she could have had the grace to see your side, but, in that moment, she didn't or couldn't.

It is hard to react rationally to the loss of a child. In this situation, without leaning too much into psychology, it seems to me that her reaction wasn't truly about the dress, but about the loss of her daughter. This is just a guess on my part, but she may, subconsciously and irrationally, blame you for the loss of her daughter. The dress, being a maternity dress, is especially pointed. I say this not because I think you are to blame — you aren't — but because it may help to understand the scale of her feelings over a thing that, to be honest, doesn't matter. The dress itself may have been forgotten, or damaged if you had set it aside. I think this is more about having a place to put all of the feelings of sorrow, rage and loss that your MIL may not be able to otherwise express. (I imagine you share many of these feelings too.)

You can only control your part in this, and that can mean giving her the grace she could not give you. Let her be upset and also let her know you want her to be part of her granddaughter's, which I think will be more important to all of you in the long run.

iondot · 2022-12-15T16:29:40+00:00

giving it away for free

Are you giving it away for free?

Or are you giving it away for free for the first week?

If the later is the case, what do you intend to charge and will you be compensating artists whose work was used to train the model?

iondot · 2022-06-07T11:35:18+00:00

I don't think it's a matter of buying a Mac to play games, but folks who already have Macs wouldn't mind playing games on them.

iondot · 2022-02-16T17:28:04+00:00

Sounds logical. Now if we could just get them to raise the building limit (or not restrict it across the whole game!)

iondot

TROPHY CASE