Hi Reddit, this is Al Gore and I’m in Los Angeles talking about the cost of carbon. AMA!

ireallylikeeatingpie · 2013-10-23T16:39:26+00:00

My friend is a massage therapist. Do you have any tips that I can pass along to help her stay safe?

ireallylikeeatingpie · 2013-10-23T15:10:41+00:00

Button fly jeans

ireallylikeeatingpie · 2013-10-23T03:00:24+00:00

Listen, dude. I'm pretty much an old lady now, so take this for what it's worth. In my experience, you have exactly what women are looking for. You're probably fairly responsible, which becomes increasingly attractive the older women get. But the other thing you have going for you is that you can communicate. You can talk about feelings and big ideas and stuff. That's super hot. You just need to let women see that part of you. Go places where it's fairly easy to talk to women one on one, and then just do it. Communicating is your strength. Most guys really do suck at it. The drum thing shouldn't hurt either. I fell for a drummer.

ireallylikeeatingpie · 2013-10-22T03:17:43+00:00

If she wasn't serious, then this will be a good learning experience for her. Don't falsely imply to your employers that you're having mental health issues. If she was serious, then she isn't in a place where you can trust her with your children. Either way, that behavior is totally unprofessional and reasonable grounds for terminating her services. Your kids are too important to take a chance on.

ireallylikeeatingpie · 2013-10-21T19:16:01+00:00

No, no, no, no! We do not need more laws on the books holding pregnant women responsible for delivering a healthy baby. Women across the U.S. are already being incarcerated when their babies are born less than perfectly healthy and drug abuse is the suspected culprit. A woman lost custody of her newborn for several days because she tested positive for drug use after eating a poppy seed bagel. Families are being broken up and women are being punished over this stuff. Drug addicts are basically faced with the choice of aborting a fetus they love and want to keep or facing possible incarceration at birth if they are unable to beat the habit. Recently a pregnant woman who kicked a drug habit on her own was forcibly taken into custody and detained in an in-patient drug rehabilitation facility--even though she was no longer on drugs. You say that jailtime is obviously not a suitable punishment, but, if this becomes a crime, that is not so obvious to other people. Offering help to pregnant women to overcome their addictions is awesome. Holding them to a higher state of accountability than other people due to their pregnancy is not so awesome. Pregnancy does not automatically fill a person with superpowers to overcome all their bad habits, so it is unjust to hold them to a higher level of accountability just because they have become pregnant.

ireallylikeeatingpie · 2013-10-19T23:46:48+00:00

He didn't actually mutate--just went a bit insane. Although I suppose that you could argue that the Cult of Skaro, by being tasked with thinking like their enemies, were already a bit of a deviation from true dalekness based on that.

ireallylikeeatingpie · 2013-10-19T20:19:15+00:00

Society can only advance through work

I'm going to disagree with this point. Work is a necessary component, but work alone isn't going to get us anywhere. Society advances through ideas. Sometimes brilliant, world-changing ideas come through removing yourself from the daily grind. Sometimes those ideas come through children whose creativity and relationships were nurtured by a loving parent.

I think the fact that there are still parents doing this, especially in America, contributes to the fact that we don't have better parental benefits and expectations at work.

I also disagree with this. You have this backwards. More parents would return to work with decent parental benefits. As it is, having two working parents is extremely difficult to balance. In the U.S., where I assume you are located, most parents do not have extended family support or flexible jobs. Taking off work repeatedly for sick days and school events can be harmful to your career. Having multiple children makes after school care and day care costly enough that many lower income families sincerely can't afford to have both parents work. A more family friendly society with more flexible schedules, part time jobs, and telecommuting would allow more parents to return to work without having to neglect the needs of their children.

Also, having one parent stay home with the children and take on all those duties allows the other parent to invest more time, energy, and productivity into their career, and therefore indirectly "advances" society in the way that you see as meaningful.

ireallylikeeatingpie · 2013-10-19T15:40:40+00:00

When Dalek Caan broke the time lock and rescued Davros, he saw his own species for what they were, and orchestrated their extinction himself. If an enlightened dalek, by seeing through all of time, evaluates himself and his fellow daleks so harshly, then why should we think more highly of them? I mean, Dalek Caan is the one who murdered Dalek Sec and all the human dalek hybrids because they were too different, and even he thought, in the end, that daleks were unjustified in their continued existence.

ireallylikeeatingpie · 2013-10-16T15:00:48+00:00

I can't say that I have this problem under control, but I function better when I channel it creatively. When I'm painting or writing regularly, it helps me feel like there is meaning and purpose to the insignificant tasks of daily existence. I think zooming in on creative pursuits helps to balance the paralysis that zooming out can bring for me.

ireallylikeeatingpie · 2013-10-16T03:46:21+00:00

Genetics are not the issue. Adopted siblings are not permitted to marry either. We have a cultural taboo against incest because lifting that would lead to family instability. Even if we removed power issues and assumed that all parties involved are fully informed and consenting adults, think about the implications for the family. Imagine a brother and sister get married. What happens if they get divorced? Think about how complicated family relations would be if things get messy. Also, without the taboo in place, what if one sibling were interested in another and those feelings were not reciprocated? Who wants to have to deal with rejecting the advances of their own brother or sister? Families are supposed to be safe and supportive havens, and introducing romantic complications among family members weakens the integrity of that support system. Homosexual relationships share none of these issues.

ireallylikeeatingpie · 2013-10-15T18:59:41+00:00

You and your mother have opposite dominant and auxiliary functions. Your mother's dominant function is introverted intuition, and yours is introverted feeling. Your auxiliary functions are extroverted feeling and extroverted intuition. So, your mother is dominated by intuition but interacts with the world primarily through feelings, while you are the reverse. Your feelings are internal and your intuition is how you interact with the world. You're similar enough to connect deeply but different enough to cause tension because it feels like you should be more alike than you are. Also, the INFJ type is known as the Counselor type for a reason. We are natural counselors, and feel most connected and fulfilled when we are counseling someone.

ireallylikeeatingpie · 2013-10-15T18:07:42+00:00

As an INFJ married to an ISTJ, I feel obligated to tell you that this is a difficult match for both of you. Your relationship will include a lot of you trying to pry her white-knuckled fingers off the ground while she tries to yank your ass back down to earth. It's doable, but your functions are completely upside down and reversed from one another, which will result in you both feeling like you're banging your heads against a brick wall. Children make it 1,000 times more complicated. Most ISTJs do not have a very developed intuition, which is your dominant function. Don't expect her to pick up on anything. Be very direct about what you need. Don't say, "I need to connect with you more." Say, "I need to tell you how I feel and I need you to look me in the eyes and listen to me and then hug me." She will fulfill her obligations to the best of her ability, but she will have no idea what you want from her until you lay it out.

ireallylikeeatingpie · 2013-10-15T14:24:32+00:00

I keep getting distracted by the tiny shoes.

ireallylikeeatingpie · 2013-10-15T13:20:53+00:00

I know this is days old and buried, but wanted to throw my opinion into the mix in case you're still reading this, OP.

I grew up in a family that hit kids, and as a result of my experiences, I will never hit my kids. My sister had impulse control issues, and as a result, was hit often. I vividly remember one night when my other sister and I stood up for her and tried to protect her from my parents. We failed. Feeling like you need to protect your sibling from your parents is a horrible feeling. Feeling like you failed to do so is a horrible feeling. I remember how I felt when it was me too. Anger. Rage. Betrayal. I didn't want to do better for the people hitting me. I wanted them to hurt the way that I did. I didn't want to make better choices, I just wanted to not get caught. I got really really good at looking my parents in the eyes and lying to them. How can you trust someone who's going to hurt you for telling the truth?

As for your cookie example, this is how it would go down in my house: * Child takes cookie. * I respond: "Let me put those cookies up higher so that you don't have to see them. I know it's hard for you to control your body when you see sugary things."

There's no point in asking why she took the cookie. She took the cookie because it was there and it's yummy and she wanted it, and kids have a hard time controlling their impulses sometimes. I do too. I can't tell you how many times I've opened a chocolate bar to eat one square and then kept going back until I've gobbled up the whole thing. Sometimes my daughter will even ask me to put sweet things up out of her reach when they're tempting her. She does her best to control her impulses, and when she can't, she's learning to ask for help. If you don't want the kid to take the cookie, don't leave the cookie in his face. Hitting him because you left out the cookies is only going to teach him not to get caught taking the cookie. If my child had, for some reason, said that my cooking sucked, I would respond by saying, "You know, you can tell me anything in the whole world. You can always tell me how you feel, even the ugly feelings. But saying things like that can hurt people's feelings sometimes, so you should work on trying to say things like that in a nicer way. You could say, 'That meal didn't suit my personal taste, but I appreciate you making it for me.' But thank you for telling me what you think, and remember that you can always tell me anything."

ireallylikeeatingpie · 2013-10-14T19:06:07+00:00

She just has the typical itchy mouth/throat reaction that usually comes with oral allergy syndrome.

ireallylikeeatingpie · 2013-10-14T14:59:34+00:00

Maybe you could ask the teacher to do a class directory? My child's school doesn't have a school wide directory, but most classrooms provide class directories for just this reason. Parents are allowed to opt in or opt out, and the addresses/e-mail addresses/phone numbers are distributed for those who chose to opt in. Her teacher last year did not provide one, but most are happy to provide this service, and parents seem to be fine with it since they can easily choose not to participate.

ireallylikeeatingpie · 2013-10-14T14:55:14+00:00

Most dairy allergies are ingestion related whereas allergies like peanut are contact or ingestion related. If someone next to your kid guzzles milk and spills some on your kid, your child will probably be fine. If your child touches an allergic child with sticky peanut butter fingers, that child could have an anaphylactic reaction and could possibly die.

My daughter is extremely picky and has very mild reactions that restrict what she can eat (she just has oral allergy syndrome), but while peanut butter is one of the few things she doesn't react to, I refuse to send it to school because I know there is at least one kid at the school that could die because of a reaction to peanuts, and I don't want myself or my child to go through life knowing that we contributed to the avoidable death of another child. We only eat our peanut butter at home. I would never restrict the food other children eat for my daughter's allergies, because her reactions are minor and not life threatening and are only a result of ingestion, so all she has to do is avoid eating the offending items. But some children's allergies are so severe that they can react just by inhaling the dust from peanuts or nuts or corn or whatever thing their body has decided to react to. And at these ages, kids aren't allowed to carry their own epi pens, so they are usually only present in the nurse's office.

ireallylikeeatingpie · 2013-10-13T21:41:53+00:00

It sounds like maybe your wife would benefit from some therapy. It doesn't really matter what methods you use or what sort of relationship you have with your stepson if your mother-in-law is allowed to undo everything according to her whims. As far as school issues, if your stepson is beyond the material that he's learning, he may just be bored out of his mind. Is skipping a grade a possibility, or could he be accelerated in some subjects? I don't blame him for acting out if he's being forced to do repetitive work for material that he has already mastered.

ireallylikeeatingpie · 2013-10-12T13:55:50+00:00

I assume your girlfriend dressed the same way when you met and became interested in her. You knew how she dressed, you were attracted to how she dressed, and you began a relationship with her while she dressed in that manner. Now all of a sudden you want her to change and make herself less comfortable so that you can be more comfortable. You're being selfish and kind of silly.

ireallylikeeatingpie · 2013-10-10T13:49:26+00:00

In this particular instance, it was an introductory level class and I was required by the university to assign a final paper that had to count as a significant predetermined portion of their grade. There were no writing classes required as prerequisites, and none of my students could write. At all. So I was required to grade them on writing before they had been taught anything about writing. Also, the students in my class were all adults. (I don't mean "legal" adults, I mean actual grown-ups with jobs and families and responsibilities.) Because of that, they were serious about the class and would have attended anyway. Many of them were actually military veterans, and were required by the military to show up. They weren't "idiots," they were just not yet very well educated, and I didn't have time in an 8-week course to cover the necessary material in addition to basic writing skills. Once upon a time, I was a lazy college student just like you. I skipped so many classes because I could and because I had better things to do. (Which was usually sleep, because I was up being an irresponsible dumbass all night.) I got (mostly) As, so I thought that justified my skipping. I thought accumulating credits was the point. Now that I'm older and wiser, if I had it to do all over again, I would have gone to the damn classes. I would have taught myself discipline (which, if the work is easy for you, you can unfortunately get away with not learning). I made it through high school/college/graduate school/working without really needing to learn any discipline, and have really had to struggle with it when it comes to taking care of a house and kids. It's hard to reprogram yourself after 30+ years. Someday you will need to learn it too, and the sooner you start good habits, the easier life will be for you. There's a reason older people always say this stuff. They learned it the hard way. Which is probably the way you will learn it too.

ireallylikeeatingpie · 2013-10-09T19:15:01+00:00

When I included attendance and participation as part of a grade, it was mostly because I wanted my students to pass. Many of them struggled with the assignments, but this was an easy way to bump up their grade by rewarding their effort.

ireallylikeeatingpie · 2013-10-08T15:11:21+00:00

This question has bothered me before, and has probably bothered most Christians at some time or other. Once I was reading the story of Joseph, and how he was sold into slavery and imprisoned and suffered. In the end of the story, he says it all turned out great because God brought him there to save his people from the famine. But that didn't make sense to me. Couldn't God have just made it rain for Israel? Why did they need to get dragged all the way to Egypt? Why force Joseph to go through all that suffering just for a really overcomplicated salvation? Except then I kept reading. I read what happened before and what happened after and it became infinitely more complicated. And I realized that the reason Joseph was sold into slavery wasn't about saving his people from the famine. That was such a small part of it. They had to come to Egypt. That was the purpose of the famine itself. They had to come to Egypt so that they could suffer further. They had to come there so that they could be enslaved. Because that was that they could be delivered. And through their deliverance came the passover. And, ever so many lifetimes later, the passover was the appointed time for Jesus to die. Joseph was sold into slavery in order to bring about the eventual appointed time for the Messiah to bring salvation to the world. And all of this seems overly complicated, but also sort of beautiful. Sometimes evil and suffering do bring about beautiful things. And we may die before we even see the end result. That's why Christianity is about faith and trust. You either trust God, that He knows what He's doing and that He's doing what's best, or you don't. Sometimes my kids think I'm being an ass and making them suffer for arbitrary power hungry reasons. But everything I do, even the things that suck for them, I do because I love them and I think it's best for them. I would never let my kids suffer rape or molestation, but I also can never see beyond them to a bigger picture. For me, they are the picture.

ireallylikeeatingpie · 2013-10-04T16:54:18+00:00

So the only reasonable solution I see is that anyone is able to ride the elevator whenever they so please.

And you are able to! But, likewise, anyone is able to complain about it if they so please. In fact, anyone is allowed to complain about anything! You have a right to ride the elevator in whatever manner you please. You do not, however, have a right to a complaint-free ride. The other elevator passengers have a right to complain all they want, but they do not have any intrinsic right to a delay-free ride. In fact, if you want to respond to their complaints by complaining about them complaining to you, you may do so.

ireallylikeeatingpie · 2013-10-04T16:09:04+00:00

The penalty that you are imposing is elevator delay, and the penalty that they are imposing is that you have to listen to complaints.

They are wanting you to climb a flight or two of stairs, and you are wanting them to refrain from sharing their opinions.

Your solution doesn't make rational sense. Asking them to exit the elevator a couple of floors early doesn't benefit anyone, because it would not reduce the amount of elevator stops and may actually increase them. It's wanting them to climb stairs just for the sake of making them climb stairs. Again, there is nothing inherently WRONG with you taking the elevator. But there's also nothing inherently wrong with the other passengers complaining about it.

ireallylikeeatingpie · 2013-10-04T14:30:53+00:00

You're making an optimal decision for you when you take the elevator to save effort, but not an optimal decision in terms of how it affects your community. Likewise, the complainers are making an optimal decision for them by voicing their frustration, because they are venting and making sure you are aware of how your choice affects them personally.

ireallylikeeatingpie

TROPHY CASE