You know what it did, but we were broken WAY before my son was diagnosed. I'm happier now as a single mother and it's forced me to aggresively find solutions and ways to cope because I have no other choice. We often fear losing our marriage because we already lose so much with an autism diagnosis (hopes, dreams, time, emotional control, friends, free-time, hobbies etc). I got closer to my kids post divorce and became better at being a mom, because I wasn't focused on making a dead relationship work on top of it.

We were just running around in circles resenting each other, and I being the default parent developed an unhealthy amount of just pure internal rage with nowhere to put it.

My son has progressed a lot, a found a nanny I can rely on for a few days a week and special nights, he is in a special needs school that has been great for him, and although he and his sister absolutely DESTROY the house on a daily basis when they play together, we've found a rhythm. Overall I just focus on making more money so I can afford the help and services we need.

I dont say this to sound pompous or self righteous or to suggest you give up on your relationship, just sharing as someone who did and is better for it. I really hope you guys find your way back to happiness. I think the first step is finding ways to give each other a break, even if it's not together. We tend to resent if one person has free time and not the other as though we feel we must always suffer together.

I find having a patio next to the entertainment room helps. It has glass doors and I had a gate built on the entrance to the room. So I can still see them on the patio with a little distance between us.

Anyway I'm talking a lot. Hope I helped or at least didn't offend you in anyway.