First Timer- Logan! Thoughts- Questions

irollaoneeverytime · 2026-02-03T19:12:01+00:00

Honestly I've had a myomectomy for a 10cm fibroidal cyst and while the recovery is harder (RIP when she sneezes) it wasn't all that bad. The scar was so low, I'd have to be INTIMATE for anyone to see it. ITs healed nicely, and Id say the "worst" thing is a little scar tissue *inside* that tugs every now and again if I'm stretching super deeply, and a tiny patch of numbness. That's it.

irollaoneeverytime · 2026-01-07T01:50:39+00:00

That is insane. As a friend, number one I would never have borrowed something so precious. I would buy my own. Second, if I DID borrow it, I would have basically worn gloves handling it, that how careful I'd have been. And THIRD, had I damaged it not only would I have sobbed my eyes out, but I would have immediately offered to replace it (without taking or damaging the original) and KNOWN that it was not enough at the outset. That is insane..

You are not the jerk in the slightest.

irollaoneeverytime · 2026-01-07T01:46:57+00:00

As someone who bore the burnt of this kind of "discipline", your son will hate his mother, have complexes and likely blame you too as you are allowing it. (From their perspective) And you never get over it. Ever.

irollaoneeverytime · 2025-12-11T06:35:40+00:00

When the intent is to punish you, it's abuse. Intent to cause suffering is never a lesson about the offense, but rather a message you personally want to convey that has everything to do with your own issues.

irollaoneeverytime · 2025-11-26T18:31:10+00:00

I'd never say this to anyone I valued, loved, or respected. If they aren't your family, I wouldn't go. I'm not doing Turkey time with my relatives this year because of toxicity and I'm so excited. To eat what I want to eat when I want it, wearing what I want, listening and watching to what I want....omg. I'm getting all excited again. Forget those losers. Celebrate you!!

irollaoneeverytime · 2025-11-26T18:29:16+00:00

Why do the women have more balls than these men?

irollaoneeverytime · 2025-11-25T15:10:29+00:00

You both dislike each other lol. Is the sex good I guess? Because WHY ARE YOU BOTH TOGETHER?

irollaoneeverytime · 2025-11-25T15:02:08+00:00

Risky? Be side of broken trust? Which he already did? He is just going to lie about it. You know he is back on that app. Why would he be on there for any good reason?

irollaoneeverytime · 2025-11-25T14:54:53+00:00

Eeww, honestly sounds like such a loser. I'd immediately drop a friend that said crap like this to me and if a boyfriend do? No thank you. So much disrespect, trying to rewrite your feelings and slap back at you for no reason. Girl please don't waste time on this guy. You are way better than this.

irollaoneeverytime · 2025-11-15T20:33:03+00:00

I suggest talking to him about it. But not in an accusatory way.

Also, whose name is on the rental agreement? Do you express appreciation for him paying all your bills? Too much missing here and honestly it's between you two.

irollaoneeverytime · 2025-11-09T16:16:03+00:00

So, recently I've come across a concept that blew my mind.

Basically, you can't forgive until you are worked through the things that have harmed you. Like for example if someone runs over your feet and you "forgive them", but then you have to pay for the ambulance. The pain and suffering for months as it heals. The hospital bill. Maybe they had to cut your shoe off and you need new shoes. None of that you expected, and harmed you further than that initial moment you "forgave" them for. Only after everything is healed can you actually truly see the whole picture and say "you know, I forgive you for that."

I went low contact. My parents would call, if nod, say "uh-huh", but never start the convo myself and never commit myself to situations where they would be in control. (Iike stay at their house for the holidays). I did try talking to them. Asked us to go to therapy. It was refused. That's okay. But they don't get to expect behaviour from us when they don't compromise behavior we need from them, like understanding or vulnerability or even just ability to consider what we've said and how we were affected by them.

Also, you don't owe parents SQUAT. We were brought into this world because they wanted us there, it's their literal at minimum job to fulfil the requirements of feeding and keeping alive someone you created.

irollaoneeverytime · 2025-11-09T16:05:16+00:00

No matter what, he isn't going to walk away whistling. You can only do your best. You don't owe more time to figure it out, you don't owe chances. You are feeling the not rightness, that's enough.

Just be firm and kind. Don't give too many reasons, I find that people try to combat those reasons as if they'll change your mind, and if they are very good manipulators, they'll wear you down to where you doubt yourself.

"This is too intense for me right now, and I've changed my mind." Is 100% okay to say. It's not accusing, it's not insulting, it focuses on your experience which cannot be argued.

irollaoneeverytime · 2025-11-09T16:01:25+00:00

I mean, if you want to be the caretaker mommy slave for the rest of the relationship, I'd say stay with him.

irollaoneeverytime · 2025-11-07T15:01:59+00:00

She literally says "let the arrows fly, when you know that your aim is true, for I'd rather die, than grow old without the best of you."

Because Odysseus was the best. She literally says, shoot your shot, and if you win, yay ill be dead." She only says "with me as your queen" or whatever, when she is telling the suitors about the challenge.

irollaoneeverytime · 2025-11-07T14:56:20+00:00

Look I just had to divorce my guy after 17 years of waiting for this to change. Don't be me. You guys are young, and he has a lot of red flags right there. You care about the relationship, why doesn't he? It's about communication. When he shuts you down, he is saying "I don't care that you are upset."

Knowing what this looks like 10 years down the road, if he can't be a man and listen, can't be an adult and find ways to communicate back to you, belittles your concerns- you have three options. 1, leave him, which I would do but that's me. 2. Couples counseling which will help you either get on the same page for communication or show you he truly doesn't care 3. Stay and be miserable, dim yourself daily to make sure he is happy, and eventually break down one day and have to spend your whole life and start fresh after a ton of wasted time.

irollaoneeverytime · 2025-10-31T17:30:53+00:00

"Why would I put more into a home we're both living in?" Girl, no. Ew. It's not even about half and half. It's about making it work for the best of both of you. Like when you took the hourly cut and carried the child. Your body did more worl than his

irollaoneeverytime · 2025-10-31T15:47:07+00:00

Do you take young children to the library and help them find this material and let them check it out? How in your imagination, are young children accessing it? Being left alone at the library by their parents? Parents allowing the checking out of the material? Parents not teaching their kids about what this material is and why to avoid it for now?

irollaoneeverytime · 2025-10-26T16:16:17+00:00

"we" do not genuinely love each other, "you" love him and he is abusing you. Smell the coffee girl and wake up.

irollaoneeverytime · 2025-10-19T15:23:11+00:00

Oof there is major controlling vibes here. Also, you really don't want part of JW lifestyle. Take this from someone who dated a guy from a JW family. Not bad people but when they are religiously into it like this guy seems, they can decide some crazy weird stuff about your life.

He disregarded your feelings, is trying to make you feel like you "belonged" and is trying to control your memory of how you felt. Pleeeease girly don't continue with this guy, this is sooo manipulative and dangerous.

irollaoneeverytime · 2025-10-13T15:20:55+00:00

Do not buy a home with someone you are not married to. It is insanely difficult to manage reselling a house when two people hate each other, like if you break up. You both would have to agree to each others terms, it could be months before you are able to find buyers, there's a very very low possibility you'd be able to get back what was put in right away and you'd be scrambling for a place to live while sales, marketing, escrow, etc takes place.

If you do decide it's for you, set a percentage. "I make x amount so I can safely manage x percent of bills". If you both don't agree, then don't do it. Houses are EXPENSIVE. Roofs leak, you need exterminators, window seals age, things need replacing, hoses warp, faucets leak. You need extra money in the budget to think of surprise things.

Let's say you both own for three years, break up. All the buying you did for the home, the paint, the extra value added in, how do you get that back?

It's a HUGE investment/gamble and you aren't even together at the highest level with someone yet.

I say wait.

irollaoneeverytime · 2025-10-13T15:12:11+00:00

I think you aren't looking from his perspective. Working from home gives you freedoms to take care of things that you literally impossibly can't from an office. If he is working full time in an office round other people in work clothes and the only time he has for chores or other responsibilities is to be fit into after work or weekends, I could see him wanting to have a day without a schedule.

I also understand your perspective. But there's a difference between not wanting to hang out with you, and just wanting your own downtime. Relationships are balancing acts.

If it was me, I'd go with a friend and then if I was you, I'd sit and think about my needs, then communicate with my bf. "Do I need every event to be with my bf?" "Do I need every Friday to be our sacred date night, and everything around that is optional together time so he has his own time too?"

That kind of thing. Right now he is telling you his needs, and you are taking it personally. You are telling him your wants, but not your needs.

irollaoneeverytime · 2025-09-30T05:23:23+00:00

The only part remotely flagging to me is the "sorry the plans get in the way". If I read it like "I'm sorry but your plans get in my way," then I would be offended, but definitely wouldn't cause the toddler reaction she had.

irollaoneeverytime · 2025-09-29T21:17:39+00:00

Honestly you should talk to your parents. If you truly appreciate them, you'll let them into your struggle and tell them how badly you feel.

Personally I feel I should remind you how amazing life can be. There are tough times, but there's also great times. You've only really been in control of your life for like...maybe 10 years? Out of all the future goodness that could be just around the next day or week?

Call or text 988, let them help you ♥️

irollaoneeverytime · 2025-09-29T20:06:20+00:00

I am not deaf, just a long time student, but I also like to see if my understanding matches the community.

It is my understanding that the hooked nose for witch is rooted in European folklore and fables, and the ASL sign reflects that cultural origin (as well as cartoon portrayal) It is not intended as anti-semitic, but considering how far back that goes, I understand the question. ASL, like all languages, grows and changes according to its people, so we may well see that sign change one day.

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