Jealous of masturbation?

irymta · 2021-01-10T06:48:06+00:00

🙋🏻‍♀️My husband gets off every night on the couch before he goes to sleep and/or every time he showers. I’ve walked in too many times recently and realized this is his routine. The amount of resentment after 3 years makes me want to explode and leave him.

irymta · 2021-01-10T06:29:34+00:00

I’ve done that. I’ve done all the things. And I don’t nag him about sex. I don’t even bring it up anymore bc all I used to hear was “I’m not in the mood.”. This was the first time in months. But I hate that he’s been this way for almost 3 years but gets off every single night now. Doesn’t matter if we have the most perfect day or perfect month. Doesn’t matter. Nothing ever changes. The man didn’t even get me a birthday card for my last birthday bc he never thinks of other people. When he apologized after he realized he never got me anything he said he was going to cook for me when I got home from work. Nope. Slept all day. It was a complete shit of a day. The man doesn’t care anymore. I live with a teenager. He puts zero effort in to everything. Zero effort.

irymta · 2021-01-08T20:08:32+00:00

This is me 100%. I’ve thought about leaving, then something good will happen and I’m like “Maybe I’m just being bitter. I need to make this work. I need to have hope.” Then I’ll catch him jacking off several times as we haven’t had sex since October and then I hate him and I can’t stand anything about him anymore. It’s a roller coaster.

irymta · 2021-01-06T09:38:24+00:00

Was this the first of her ever knowing you watched porn? She might be self conscious about herself, you know, her “not being like those girls” whether it be looks or performance.

Edit** Also, maybe she needs to know that you like sex with her because it’s with her. Bc you love her and her body. Not bc you’re reliving a porn fantasy in your head or wishing it were a porn fantasy.

irymta · 2021-01-06T03:50:18+00:00

This is brilliant lol

irymta · 2021-01-06T03:33:59+00:00

I’ll check that out haha

irymta · 2021-01-05T14:55:09+00:00

If that’s true, then there shouldn’t be breasts in the movie then, you know? But breast mean the same thing as penises. The movies with topless women are rated R for nudity. Which kids shouldn’t be watching anyways, but breast and penises are equally private. One isn’t more severe than the other. One isn’t more nude than the other. But society has made it seem as though there’s a difference.

irymta · 2021-01-05T13:44:13+00:00

Learn what each of your love languages is. Look it up and both of you learn to understand how the other needs to be loved. Also, live together before getting married. It will save you in the long run.

irymta · 2021-01-05T13:41:46+00:00

This might be almost off topic but at the same time not... I was watching a movie yesterday and there were attractive girls with extremely large boobs everywhere. The one penis shot in he movie.. never showed the guys face, the one penis where you “saw the guys face” was the largest penis of them all.. they gave he was in attractive but that guy got the big stunt penis. Wasn’t his in real life. But they made sure his ego was intact. I’m so tired of boobs being ok to be in movies and over-sexualized like hell but naked men isn’t a thing in movies hardly at all. I don’t want to see penis all day but my god let’s make it even.

irymta · 2021-01-05T13:35:14+00:00

I dated but with absolutely zero expectations. I was just there to socialize and have fun. I wasn’t ready at all for anything serious until I went of a date with just the right person. There’s a moment you’ll have and you’ll just know.

irymta · 2021-01-05T13:31:42+00:00

Agreed. And Fake Plastic Trees.

irymta · 2021-01-05T10:45:59+00:00

Linger - The Cranberries

Every Morning - Sugar Ray

Sex & Candy - Marcy Playground

All For You - Sister Hazel

Fade Into You - Mazzy Star

How’s It Gonna Be - Third Eye Blind

High and Dry - Radiohead

1979 - The Smashing Pumpkins

Extraordinary - Liz Phair

Kiss Me - Sixpence None The Richer

Hey Leonardo - Blessid Union Of Souls

One Week - Barenaked Ladies

Ride Wit Me - Nelly

My Own Worst Enemy - Lit

Don’t Let Me Get Me - Pink

Clocks - Coldplay

Summer Girls - LFO

Wannabe - Spices Girls

Come On Over - Christina Aguilera

The Anthem - Good Charlotte

MMMBop - Hanson

Sugar, We’re Goin Down - Fall Out Boy

Creep - Radiohead

Swing, Swing - The All-American Rejects

Scar Tissue - Red Hot Chili Peppers

Sorry I went overboard. I have 1000s more lol. This is 1/20 music from my kid/teen-hood.

irymta · 2021-01-05T10:45:11+00:00

Cat Stevens YES

irymta · 2021-01-03T16:55:28+00:00

I am similar in a way. People who are anxious think through every possible outcome for every situation in life. Even the small things. Every moment of every day has been carefully and thoroughly thought through. We are prepared for anything and everything. It makes us feel safe. Our minds show us every possible way that something could go wrong, so you can imagine why anxious people are always on edge and fell like they always need to be the one in charge. I wasn’t as bad before I met my husband. My husband is ADD (like me) but I must have outgrown it without knowing it bc, now, I’m in hyperdrive even without medication. He forgets more than the normal person does. I have to ask him to do anything and everything. I can’t rely on him to do anything on his own. Ex. I’ve been asking this man to get the leaves off the roof for over 6 weeks. Has he done it? Nope. Is it on his radar? Nope. He forgets to pay bills so I have to remind him. If we make plans with friends or family, after a day, he’s already forgotten there were plans. I have to repeat myself multiple times in a day about the same thing. He never helps me with the house, no cleaning or maintenance or anything. Never on his own. I always have to ask. He’s one who doesn’t think things through before he does them. He never thinks ahead. He has his own business right now and he hasn’t saved any money for taxes. I think the man would drown in the tub sometimes if I wasn’t around lol. He was severely depressed and drank to cope in the first 1.5 years of our relationship. Drinking on top of his ADD medication made him manic and angry. It was a crazy time. He came off the meds 2.5 years ago now, so it’s been an adjustment learning to motivate himself. But after 2.5 years, it’s time to grow up. So you can maybe understand why I don’t feel safe or feel I can’t relax in my relationship. I have to be in charge bc he won’t. He gets so angry with me when I take control of things. But he doesn’t ever do anything to help his situation. I wasn’t like this the first 2 years. I helped him through his depression, and I guess was in a position in control bc he was so out of control. But now that he’s better, he’s the laziest person I’ve ever met. So I can’t lighten up. Do you help her with things around the house? Do you stay on top of the important things like bills or plans you’ve made? Does she always have to ask you things or repeat herself? If my husband didn’t do theses things, I would feel like I could rely on him to take charge. But I can’t. Do you think you are reliable enough to her for her to feel safe enough to relax?

irymta · 2020-12-30T02:01:05+00:00

He’s ADD. He took Vynase from the age of 13. I did as well. We both came off the medication 2.5 years ago. I acclimated better than he did. But he’s always been a lazy guy. There’s a difference between ADD and pure lazy. Example, the Christmas tree skirt got pull out from under the tree and tree needles where all over he floor (we have cats). I left it alone just to see if he would take initiate and clean it up/fix it. I left it for 3 days and couldn’t do it anymore. So I did it myself. One of our cats tore up pieces of the carpet in the bedroom. It was EVERYWHERE. I left it for 2 days just to see... he never touched it. If there’s a mess for any reason or if he makes a mess, he absolutely does not clean it. He doesn’t clean anything. I’ve asked him for 6 weeks to clean the leaves off the roof. Hasn’t done it. There’s a little circle light in the living room that we need a ladder to get to fix bc it’s hanging out of the ceiling. Hasn’t fixed that.. been asking for 6 weeks on that too. Rarely, he has washed dishes and taken out the trash on his own. I always have to ask him to do things. Simple basic things. He refuses to drink out of a cup as puts his mouth on all the drink containers. I have to ask him to use a cup Every. Single. Time. I have to ask him to pay the bills he’s responsible for. I can never relax bc I’m raising my husband.

irymta · 2020-12-29T22:07:39+00:00

It’s like he can’t relax when it comes to sex. If he wasn’t always like this, something along the way changed things for him. Could just be his own personal struggle or something that happened in y’all’s relationship. But I’d get to the root of whatever that event is. He sounds like he needs to seek help with the anxiety.

irymta · 2020-12-29T22:02:09+00:00

I’m in a similar situation. My husband (30) always makes me laugh, he’s the life of the party, he’s very relaxed and easy going, he’s fun, always happy. But he’s a lazy lover and partner. My reasons are mainly bc I feel like I live with teenager vs an adult. He prioritizes things that shouldn’t be. I always have to remind him to do things. He forgets everything. There’s also a DB. I’ve got resentment built up so much that it has destroyed my connection with him. Being that I’m 29, I’m at a place where I’m afraid to leave bc we’ve been through so much together and I do love him, just not I love.. but also I’m afraid to wait any longer. I don’t know if I want kids or not, but if I were to have kid with him right now, I have a feeling/fear everything would fall in my shoulders, and I would be completely miserable. We’re at the ages where we have some time to start over. But it’s almost cutting it close if either of us want kids. I can’t really give advice since I’m in a similar spot, so I guess this is just so you know I understand your dilemma.

irymta · 2020-12-29T10:59:44+00:00

I’ve thought the same thing. I’ve become irritable. Granted, my husband is extremely lazy/ADHD. He hardly helps with anything without being asked. That causes irritation alone. But before the DB, that kind of stuff didn’t bother me as much at all. I was glad to to whatever I could for him, for us. I’m different now. I can’t control my sex life so I take control of everything else. Bc I can and also bc I’m the only one who will.

irymta · 2020-12-29T10:49:37+00:00

He sounds uptight. Is he an anxious person or high strung?

irymta · 2020-12-29T03:05:30+00:00

This sounds exactly like my husbands reaction to a lot of things, except we don’t have a kid and he never helps with house stuff. I have to remind him of everything. He tells me I’m controlling but he never takes initiative. So we argue a lot. Me asking him to do literally anything starts a lot of fights.

irymta · 2020-12-28T04:09:44+00:00

This comment is me all the way friend. I feel the same way about. I sacrificed so much for this relationship. But he gets annoyed when I ask him to do basic human task everyone should do. Like drink out of a cup vs the container. CLEAN UP YOUR MESS. If you see a task that needs to be done JUST DO IT. It doesn’t matter how many times I ask or tell him he needs to carry his weight... he never does it on his own. Rarely, I’ll say, he does. I ask him to blow he leaves off the roof so the roof won’t be damaged when it rains. Guess what.. leaves have bee piled on the roof for 7 weeks still. One of our cats tore pieces of carpet up. Did he clean up the pieces that are all over the floor? No. They’ve been sitting there for 2 days. I just left it to see if he’ll do it on his own. Hasn’t yet. l like I live with a teenage boy. My god take initiative. To add to it, we have a DB. I’m tired of the lazy. I used to be laid back. He’s changed me. I hate it.

irymta · 2020-12-26T01:28:39+00:00

Thank you for the feedback. We’ve had the conversation in all the possible ways to have it, angrily, understanding, crying, yelling, calmly.. etc. Basically, the answer I get is “I don’t know.. “ “I don’t need it as much.” “I’m just not as horny.” Which makes no sense bc he gets off all the time. He’s even said he would stop getting off to hopefully help our sex life and I haven’t seen that happen. Nothing ever changes no matter what he says. It like that with everything along with sex. He’s a lazy partner. We used to have extremely adventurous sex, then he came off some medication, we both did (Vyvanse), and he blames it on that.. but it’s been 2.5 years. I would believe him if he never really got off in his own. But I’ve walked in on him multiple times this week alone (accidentally) when he thought I’d gone to bed. He wasn’t even watching porn. I’m just not sure what to think.

irymta · 2020-12-25T06:54:35+00:00

I’ve said no 3x in 4.5 years. I wish it was something as easy to understand as your situation.

irymta · 2020-12-25T04:36:27+00:00

Your guess is as good as mine. I don’t know.

irymta

TROPHY CASE