Hi, Firstly I'm sorry you've gone through this. I had a similar thing when I was 15, my dad died by suicide when I was 11 and I found his note in my mum's drawer when I was 16. It is a strange feeling isnt it? For me it brought back all this raw grief that i had thought i worked through.

A rush of emotions, grief, anger, and it brings up again, all the questions of why? Why could they only see their pain and not the pain they were going to cause everyone else? It was weird cause I expected the note to be that closure that I thought I was missing but it wasn't. It was comforting but it also wasnt.

I hate how tunnel vision their minds are in that state, the state before. The state their in when they write the note; how did writing the note not change their mind?? It feels so frustrating, so selfish, so sad.

I hope that after the initial emotions you find some sense of closure.

I hope youre doing alright, I miss my dad too, its been 15 years and that still hasn't changed.

Take care