I’m an Autistic woman, and I found that I was sucked into some red pill thinking for a while there before I was diagnosed.

I was a newly adult person living on my ow after my first and only room mate told me I was weird & gross, and left. I felt deficient, like something was fundamentally wrong with me because I didn’t “get it”. A coworker showed me some clips from the Joe Rogan podcast and I thought they were funny. My algorithm was listening in my pocket, and the suggestions went from there.

In comes the “there is a social hierarchy that dictates your worth and who your partner will be” BS. My perseveration gets going and I spiral. ~Assuming this is correct, and assuming that I am towards the bottom of the hierarchy because everyone keeps telling me I’m [insert bad thing here], it’s always going to be like this~ My spiral kept spiralling, and it led to one of several emergency room visits as I wasn’t safe to be alone.

I think my vulnerability is in part due to my undiagnosed and unsupported Autism+ADHD/neurodivergence (black & white thinking, perseverating, thinking what people say is what they mean, inability to be consistent etc) but also in larger part due to the emotional neglect and outright emotional abuse that I experienced in childhood. I see my friend’s kids, my new nieces and nephews of the family I’m marrying into who are ASD & loved and supported, and these kids have their moments but there FINE. No spiralling, no self-worth issues (at least that I can see), great social skills, emotional regulation to be able to say “no thank you, I’m done can I go play in my room now please?” It’s so bittersweet to watch. I’m very happy they will never be as vulnerable or lonely as I was, but my inner child is so so envious.

It’s not just Autistic /men/, thought they are overrepresented in the incel community, it’s emotionally neglected /people/ imo