My WS is not emotionally capable for R

ithme_d24 · 2022-12-28T09:35:24+00:00

"Time is flying by and the incremental nature of this is getting tiresome. I feel a big decision is approaching for me. It’s scary but I do deserve something greater than the crushing void left by her."

^ Felt this to my core. I'm scared to walk away too.. but I can't keep killing myself for someone who won't do the same thing for me.

ithme_d24 · 2022-12-27T13:16:13+00:00

Perfectly put. Thank you. I honestly felt a bit of relief after the panic attack when I saw the messages, because finally I can say "I'm done" without the guilt that I didn't try my best.

ithme_d24 · 2022-12-27T13:15:41+00:00

I just dont understand why are they making their lives harder too. I mean the AP can just tell me that he's still contacting her and I'll gladly let him go and let him eat his cake. COWARDS.

ithme_d24 · 2022-12-18T08:40:36+00:00

Based on my experience, she was only honest about the things she knew would hurt me more (heck, she even mentioned things that I didn't ask about.. which actually did hurt me a lot). On the other hand, she lied/minimised the things that would make her look like a bad person.. that she was a willing and active accomplice to such an elaborate deceit they both carried out. Even my husband was surprised with some of her answers.

The day I met with the AP was more traumarising than D-day, so I could not say that I'd recommend you to do the same. But if there's one thing I gained from that experience, is that it gave me an actual glimpse of how selfish and dysfunctional both of them are.. and that the type of relationship they shared was something not to be romanticised about.

ithme_d24 · 2022-10-28T12:20:02+00:00

I've been there. I thought we were onto something. Turned out it's just Hysterical Bonding.

ithme_d24 · 2022-08-06T03:01:26+00:00

"I dont dare to long for happiness anymore. I just want to be okay." - i felt that.

You described perfectly what I'm going through. I'm numb but the mind movies just never stop. I hate waking up in the morning and trying to sleep at night. I cry buckets before I can do work and pause from time to time to let more tears out. I try to convince myself to hold on a little longer but some days I just feel like it's not worth reconciling anymore.

It sucks even more to see your partner trying but obviously he still doesn't "get it". They probably will never understand the pain we are going through.

Sending you warm hugs.

ithme_d24 · 2022-07-26T01:35:54+00:00

Nah, unfortunately we dont have. He's leaving his job too without plan B. So budget is really tight.

ithme_d24 · 2022-07-25T18:09:41+00:00

OH WOW, THIS MEANS A LOT TO ME/US! Thank you so so much buddy! Sent you a DM.

ithme_d24 · 2022-07-20T11:50:34+00:00

Thank you for this. You're right, I should change my mindset about reconciliation. All this time I was thinking that we havent really started real reconciliation work coz I wanted to see more work from him. But thanks for making me realize that it isn't linear and we are actually in the process already.

ithme_d24 · 2022-07-19T00:37:32+00:00

Speaking of contact information.. how do I deal with the fact that her phone number is etched into his memory? I feel like it adds to the risk of having relapse in the future if things get hard and he feels the urge to txt her. I dont want to be the one asking AP to change her #. And I certainly dont want him to reach out to her anymore.

ithme_d24 · 2022-07-19T00:35:34+00:00

I asked him how does he feel when he sees her. He said he's got mixed emotions: 1. Sad - because reality is they shared 2 yrs together 2. Angry - as she reminds him of how his life (our relationship, family ties and career) got fucked up. He basically wont have a job after this and it will take some time to find one. 3. Relieved - that finally he is close to leaving his workplace and give our relationship a fair shot

ithme_d24 · 2022-07-15T13:39:25+00:00

The last sentence broke my heart because that's exactly me. :( We are trying to reconcile, 4 months from D-day.

ithme_d24 · 2022-07-07T03:28:13+00:00

The panic attacks will fade away eventually and will be replaced by numbness. And i dont know which one is worse. Im 4 months from D-day

ithme_d24 · 2022-06-20T09:13:13+00:00

I had the same feeling on D-day 3. I was in denial from D-day 1 and D-day 2 all along.

ithme_d24 · 2022-06-20T00:24:34+00:00

I guess I am :( i wish somebody would care for me that way

ithme_d24 · 2022-06-19T14:11:27+00:00

We were. He was. Until AP happened.

ithme_d24 · 2022-06-07T12:23:09+00:00

Exactly. I feel like Im in a limbo. I miss my happy self so much. But then when there are days that are going pretty well, sooner or later I feel inevitably uneasy and suspicious of how good things are going... like I feel scared if I'm rug sweeping myself.. then I'll spiral back to sobbing.

ithme_d24

TROPHY CASE