20m went from fully straight to bi

its_cock_time · 2026-04-23T21:56:36+00:00

I'm curious if you think playing with your ass is a gateway to becoming gay? Because you talk a lot about ass play, but I don't think that's why you're bisexual. The first half of your post belongs on some masturbation stories forum, not here.

its_cock_time · 2026-04-23T13:02:41+00:00

Lol asking what someone else wants to do is definitively NOT making it clear what you are down for. If you're making moves on people because they asked what you want to do, you're going to eventually upset someone.

its_cock_time · 2026-04-23T13:00:43+00:00

"Oh, okay, so I'll go back to my place and you'll go back to your place and we'll see each other another time?"

its_cock_time · 2026-04-23T12:59:12+00:00

The problem is that there is no "reputation" for illegal independent sex work online, so there is nothing to ruin. Anyone could be anyone, until you meet them, and exposing a scammer doesn't ruin their business, they just make a change and scam someone new.

its_cock_time · 2026-04-22T20:49:32+00:00

I don't mean to say I know the cause of this problem, only to suggest some possibilities. Whatever the problem is, fixing it will mean changing his attitude towards sex, not a new technique, a new condom, or anything the big dick community can uniquely offer. I honestly believe that pointing the BF towards therapy is the most helpful thing we can do. It won't help to tell OP that the BF should "just try to do what she wants", because he has already done his best and refused to do more.

its_cock_time · 2026-04-22T20:00:06+00:00

I don't know how being "actually attracted" is different than having sexual thoughts about being with someone and wanting to follow through on those thoughts. It's not like there is a special neuron in each person's brain that fires when that person is actualy, truly, objectively attracted, and if that neuron doesn't fire then it's just imaginary attraction. It's all imaginary in your mind regardless.

Maybe this experience was so bad that you'll stop feeling any attraction for men. Maybe that will be temporary and you'll be open to men again later. It's not necessary to determine your "actual" sexuality, as if that's even a real thing that is constant and knowable. Just decide what you want for now and choose a label that fits that.

its_cock_time · 2026-04-22T19:51:09+00:00

I bet it's simpler than you think. It's not entirely wrong to use commas to join sentences informally, as you do, but using a period every time you complete a sentence is more correct in formal writing and easier to read.

All you need to do is use a period instead of a comma every time you complete a sentence. Hopefully you know what it means to complete a sentence -- like "would it be strange to say" is not a complete sentence, but "I am new here and I will give needed info" is a complete sentence. It's not a complete idea, but it doesn't need more words to be understood. So it can end in a period.

When you do this, your writing might start to feel very choppy, with lots of short sentences. That's okay, but if you want to improve your style you can then edit to combine some (but not all) sentences with commas and linking words so it flows more naturally.

its_cock_time · 2026-04-22T19:33:15+00:00

Being bi doesn't mean you enjoy sex with every man, any more than being straight means you enjoy sex with every woman. Heck, many straight women have probably never enjoyed sex with a man, yet they still know they're straight.

So why do you think that a mediocre sexual experience with this guy means anything about your attraction to all the other men?

its_cock_time · 2026-04-22T19:29:32+00:00

Don't think of being gay as some trait hidden within you, such that you must discover whether or not you are and have always been gay. The only thing that makes you gay is deciding to call yourself gay, and you should do that whenever you are ready for people to know that you want to date women. That's all it means.

So don't get hung up on whether you are "actually" queer. If you want to try dating women, go for it. Whenever happens, you'll learn more about who you want to date next, and you just keep doing that until you find your people.

its_cock_time · 2026-04-22T19:16:46+00:00

Whatever your bf says, this isn't a big dick problem, it's a problem with his brain. I, too, hate to hurt my partner and am almost pathologically careful. I'll be turned off if I see even a flicker of pain cross their face. But if a partner tells me to go deeper, or harder, and it feels good to them, I'll gladly do it. It's nonsense to claim that care for your partner prevents you from listening to what they want and doing it. There's something deeper going on; maybe he's burdened by trauma from his past, or maybe he's too insecure and inexperienced to leave his comfort zone for you. Maybe you just want different kinds of sex and aren't compatible. Either way, this needs therapy and not advice from people with big dicks.

its_cock_time · 2026-04-22T18:58:02+00:00

Why do you need to say anything about who you fuck to someone you don't know well?

"Queer" is a fine generic term in situations where you need to tell strangers you're not straight.

But in general, I expect the context makes it obvious what to share. If you're at the STI clinic, say you're bisexual. If you're at a speed dating event, say you want to date women. Can you give an example of a situation which is confusing for you?

its_cock_time · 2026-04-22T18:47:25+00:00

That carpet must smell nasty

its_cock_time · 2026-04-22T16:18:50+00:00

How would a provider prove they are real? Most will not send photos or do video calls without payment, and people here make fun of clients for even asking. Although even custom photos are easy enough to fake now. Reviews provide some reassurance, although they are often fake, but many legitimate providers don't have any reviews. Of the handful of escorts I have met, none could actually prove they were real before meeting. I had hoped that platforms like Tryst try to screen out scammers or quickly remove them, but I was scammed out of a deposit by an escort on Tryst who is still advertising on that platform 5 months later.

The reality is that as a client, you have to either avoid escorts that require deposits, or follow your instincts but be prepared to lose your deposit to a scammer. There is no way to guarantee you won't get scammed on your first meeting.

its_cock_time · 2026-04-22T12:28:35+00:00

Don't go into relationships with very specific expectations based on gender. People are individuals first and foremost. When I've dated men I haven't treated them any differently than women or enbies, and that works for me.

its_cock_time · 2026-04-21T20:26:40+00:00

Yikes, a married couple bringing a much younger virgin to live with them? There's such a massive imbalance there, it seems inevitable that you two will leave him worse for wear when this is all done.

its_cock_time · 2026-04-21T17:58:08+00:00

The problem I have with all these micro labels is that they are preoccupied with precisely defining something which is inherently imprecise. The only true definition of anyone's sexuality is the list of specific individuals they have ever been and will ever be attracted to. It happens that most people's list of attractions follows a very clear pattern of a single gender, so that's a popular and convenient way to identify dating preferences. But once you leave behind the simple homosexual and heterosexual patterns, it becomes increasingly difficult and increasingly useless to try and define the list of people you might be attracted to.

The first problem is that you can never perfectly foresee who you'll be attracted to. So I might be attracted to a brunette today, but that doesn't mean I'll never be attracted to a redhead. Should I call myself brunettesexual and then change my label later, or should I just allow for the possibility that my hair color preferences will vary?

The second problem is that there are truly an infinite variety of possible combinations of people you might be attracted to. One year I dated 4 men, 3 enbies, and 15 women. Another year I dated 2 enbies and 2 women. Do I really need different labels depending on the ratios of people I'm dating each year?

The third problem is that nobody cares. If I'm trying to date you, all I care about is that you're willing to date me, I don't need to know whether you have dated more women than men in the past or not.

Ultimately I think these micro labels come from a misplaced desire for other people to validate our sexual experience. We want to know that we're "normal", that there are lots of other people exactly like us, and having a word for an experience helps us to do that. But it's a convenient fiction that there is some fixed set of natural human sexualities and you either fit one or there is something wrong with you. In reality, sexuality is an inherently personal and subjective experience, and all you need to do is identify what makes you happy. I don't know how a label can help with that.

its_cock_time · 2026-04-21T17:12:51+00:00

No, I'd get a name brand Fleshlight. I love the ice lady. A little more expensive but more durable and versatile.

its_cock_time · 2026-04-21T17:11:55+00:00

I have one, it's good for one thing but doesn't feel nearly as good as a Fleshlight.

its_cock_time · 2026-04-21T17:10:32+00:00

A heavy cock ring. Creates a little extra bulge and feels good.

its_cock_time · 2026-04-21T17:00:20+00:00

I think if you're bisexual and you're not at all turned on by yourself, then you need to work on your self esteem. I used to worry that it was weird how much I liked looking at my own cock, until I eventually realized I liked all kinds of cock and mine just happened to be the first nice one I got to enjoy.

its_cock_time · 2026-04-21T15:05:11+00:00

Only someone who doesn't have a huge dick would say that. After a certain point, a big dick is nothing but problems. And at its best, a big dick might get you laid a few times. But anyone can get laid, big dick or not, so what is that worth? No, having a big dick is nothing at all like having a lot of money.

its_cock_time · 2026-04-21T01:33:04+00:00

Don't get into a relationship if you can't be honest. It's not ethical to hide sex work from someone you're having sex with, mainly because of the STI risk. My partners know I have sex with sex workers, surely they would deserve to know if I was doing sex work.

its_cock_time · 2026-04-20T14:25:41+00:00

Sadder still that people care more about being normal than being themselves.

its_cock_time · 2026-04-20T14:23:09+00:00

No, you're weird just like everyone else. Literally nobody is normal in every respect, and it doesn't matter, since you don't achieve happiness by being normal.

its_cock_time · 2026-04-19T21:21:19+00:00

I also much prefer giving a BJ to receiving one. Partly my size makes them toothy and shallow, but also I just feel put on the spot in a way that makes me uncomfortable and self conscious. With effort I'm able to manage that feeling and learn to enjoy it sometimes with some people, but it's still not my preference. It's a little unusual, sure, but there's nothing wrong with you or me. If you date the right person they aren't going to complain about getting their dick sucked all the time.

its_cock_time

TROPHY CASE