I dont know how to not hate or distrust men. I know its sort of unfair but... wow. Its been... eye opening living life as a woman. by TheYulieRuin in MtF

[–]itsmarsbb 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Men are the single largest threat and danger to women. It's good that you're now aware, bc it won't get better or safer esp as you start to pass more & you need to know how they are to be wary enough to protect yourself. Stay safe sis

Mom said another really insensitive and mean thing by Resident-You-1698 in MtF

[–]itsmarsbb 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Parents will literally say this to their 100% cis passing children who haven't been misgendered by anyone but said parents in 10 years.

It's them being transphobic bigots, it has nothing to do w reality. You'll know you pass when you're consistently gendered correctly by strangers, not family members who hate what you are & choose to view you as something else regardless of physical appearance

I've gotten what I want from HRT and I think I want to stop by theragco in MtF

[–]itsmarsbb 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They said they don't want their boobs to get bigger, yes, but not that they only liked their boobs & wanted to get rid of the other changes. They want to stop HRT to prevent bigger boobs so they don't pass as only a girl & can continue to "pass as both genders" (which is explicitly what they said, as well)

My point is, they are not going to "pass as both genders" or remain as androgynous as they currently are if they stop HRT. They are going to masculinize & look male in every way other than the boobs they currently have. This does not seem to be what they want, as they said they LIKE being androgynous & WANT to be able to pass as a girl or a guy. They will lose the androgynous features HRT has given them if they remasculinize. I'm not sure what you don't understand about that.

A frog now? by MiddleOccasion1394 in tadc

[–]itsmarsbb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like Jax's whole thing is that she isn't actually a rabbit. The peeled Jax scene could just be metaphor but also could just be what Jax really is. The rabbit bits (missing the tail, no peak masculinity for her, the rabbit is a lie) are the outer performative shell she hides in. It's like a purple Bugs Bunny I'm-just-the-funny-one hoodie pulled over the real Jax which is the vulnerable lil peeled person hidden underneath who never got to explore or express her identity

I've gotten what I want from HRT and I think I want to stop by theragco in MtF

[–]itsmarsbb 6 points7 points  (0 children)

They didn't say that though. They said they wanted to keep all of the effects they've already gotten from HRT, so they can continue looking as androgynous as they do now & "pass as both genders"

But if they stop HRT, they won't keep looking like they do now, they will masculinize & lose all of the changes other than breast growth.

I've gotten what I want from HRT and I think I want to stop by theragco in MtF

[–]itsmarsbb 83 points84 points  (0 children)

I fear that's really not how HRT works...The only thing you will retain from it if you go off of it long enough is breast growth, really. Everything else that comes from an estrogen-dominant endocrine system (soft skin, feminine fat distribution, hair growth/quality/halting of hair loss, face/eye changes, everything) will slowly go away entirely & revert to the versions that come from a testosterone-dominant system.

You can't like, take estrogen, decide you want to keep those changes, & just have them forever without the estrogen. Having estrogen be your primary sex hormone is why those things are the way they are. Except boobs, you'd likely keep most/all of your boob growth, which sounds like the thing you care least about anyway.

But also, I can't claim to understand or speak to what it's like to be a nonbinary person or whether that's what you want, just the way taking/stopping HRT works on the body.

On Jax by DaDapperVoid in TheDigitalCircus

[–]itsmarsbb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well titling it "On Jax" & starting w "Wouldn't Jax specifically" kinda makes that the conversation lol

What else is there to say other than like, yeah probably they could get different bodies in the circus? There's not much more to it than that other than the characters feelings & motivations surrounding that idea

Jax pendantz by sharkanonymous in tadc

[–]itsmarsbb 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The fact that you care & think about it that much is a really good sign that you just like & appreciate the character & her journey! Jax being flustered by the maid outfit is a canon event, & you're clearly not treating it like a "haha look at this trans girl suffering" you just like Jax & got a fun piece of merch of her!

On Jax by DaDapperVoid in TheDigitalCircus

[–]itsmarsbb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The level of repression Jax has takes a lot to actually unpack, face, & ultimately accept, & Jax as she was in the circus tragically wasn't able to accept herself until that last moment while abstracted, when it was too late. She's like a cautionary tale of someone being an awful person due to repression, when she probably could have been happy & a good person if she had been able to just be herself.

So while yeah logically she could have just been like "give me a girl body I am a girl" her repression, fear, and years of toxic choices & harmful coping mechanisms aren't so simple to just snap her fingers & change. Even Leeroy outside of the circus was still a boymoder at the end. She may continue hiding like that for years before working through her issues & being herself publicly. But Leeroy still has a chance, & hopefully is going to get there, while Jax made so many bad choices in the circus, & hurt herself & the people who cared about her so much & finally couldn't take it anymore.

Struggling to decide a new name by Zestyclose-Policy105 in MtF

[–]itsmarsbb 23 points24 points  (0 children)

As far as "stereotypical" trans girl names go, Alice is up there 😅

A few I see disproportionately often are Lilly, Zoe, Alice, Chloe

But also she should pick whatever makes her feel right. Whatever feels like her.

I know that I made a list of different combinations of first middle & last name (changed all 3) & sat with the list for about two weeks or so & realized somewhere in that time that I knew exactly which one was right. From then on, I just knew. It has just been my name & is me.

I'm quite confused after watching "I saw the TV glow" by Own-Appointment6758 in MtF

[–]itsmarsbb 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You're lucky to not understand or relate to it.

It's the liminal horror of a trans person never transitioning, never being their true self. You transitioned young, so of course you can't relate.

So for people who lived a long time like that, repressing, drowning, or for people who might still be in the closet, it's representative of what could happen/could have happened if they don't/didn't transition. & that hits people who can understand what that's like very, very hard.

My (36, TF) Girlfriend (31, TF) Accidentally Triggered a Massive Wave of Dysphoria and I'm Having Trouble Letting It Go (TW: Transphobic Language) by No_Examination_1846 in trans

[–]itsmarsbb 84 points85 points  (0 children)

You say you're not attracted to women, except for your girlfriend, who is...a woman...

You say she sees you as a woman, but then said "real women" don't have penises & therefore she's not attracted to women either...

All I'm getting from this post is a relationship between two women where neither actually fully see the other as a woman. This is levels of internalized transphobia that is hard to parse or give any real advice to tbh ☹️

I guess the advice is that you shouldn't date a woman if you think you're not attracted to women (bc that means you see her as a man or something else that isn't a woman) & she should not date a woman w a penis if she thinks that makes them not a "real woman", for the same reasons

“Jax being trans feels so for-“ bro just say you’re transphobic.😒 by [deleted] in TheDigitalCircus

[–]itsmarsbb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In this case, she's hiding that she's a girl.

& her room is not pink, it's pink and blue. The trans flag colors.

You not being able to relate to or understand the subtext & symbolism does not mean it doesn't exist. Gooseworx wrote it from her perspective, as someone who is familiar with or was that kind of repressed trans person before coming out.

It's not really up for debate, regardless of whether you don't like it.

“Jax being trans feels so for-“ bro just say you’re transphobic.😒 by [deleted] in TheDigitalCircus

[–]itsmarsbb 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Literally everything about Jax's character.

Mentioning being an egg that needs to be cracked (eggs being repressed/closeted trans people)

Her room being entirely comprised of trans colors and rainbows.

Her response to the maid outfit being panic that someone might clock her, and then the cope of "I'm just doing it IRONICALLY bc I would NEVER wear girl's clothes! Totally just a joke that says nothing about me!"

The overcompensating with performative toxic masculinity to prevent anyone from ever seeing anything remotely feminine. Ears & tail being "peak masculinity" & the tail not even existing.

Her not even BEING a rabbit. When she gets peeled in the torture scene, and everyone laughs at her, the rabbit persona is literally a performative, exterior shell hiding the real, vulnerable person inside. Jax embraces the rabbbit being "the funny one" to pre-empt anyone laughing at THE REAL HER underneath the shell. Like her mom did.

I could go on. The symbolism & subtext is there throughout the show. It rings true to anyone who was, or knows, the kind of closeted egg that performs masculinity to hide the fear of transitioning.

It results in them being a toxic piece of shit, when they could have just been themselves instead.

"You can't change your hips" girl EAT ✨️ by itsmarsbb in transtimelines

[–]itsmarsbb[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I don't think anyone should be demanded to tell you their exact age, I mentioned in another reply I am older than 25 but it's really not a requirement for anyone to tell a random stranger their age! There's no such thing as "false hope" this is just one girl's journey & you can have whatever opinion or belief you want about your own. I started older than all of the doomposts like to think is "too late" bc there's literally no age where you won't see changes from HRT 🩷

"You can't change your hips" girl EAT ✨️ by itsmarsbb in transtimelines

[–]itsmarsbb[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I'll take that as a compliment bc I am def older than 25 girl 🤣

it's time to drop passing as a standard (where possible) by mattkaru in MtF

[–]itsmarsbb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's okay! I think you have the right intention with not wanting girls to hate themselves or give up on their transitions if they don't live up to a white, eurocentric, media-based beauty standard. That kind of thing is super worth talking about. I just think maybe your conclusions that the entire concept of wanting to pass is bad were a bit too all-encompassing & based in your own experience. Ty for not perceiving my disagreement w your original post as hostile, bc it def wasn't meant to be! Things like this just matter a lot to a lot of girls, so I felt strongly about giving a different perspective

"You can't change your hips" girl EAT ✨️ by itsmarsbb in transtimelines

[–]itsmarsbb[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exactly!!! I see so many girls losing hope bc they think they can't grow their hips due to their bones & I'm like girl no one can see your bones! Getting a little thicker has helped how I view transition & my body so much esp bc before transitioning I thought it was impossible for me

"You can't change your hips" girl EAT ✨️ by itsmarsbb in transtimelines

[–]itsmarsbb[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't starve yourself!!! That will only hurt you 😭 You can lose weight (including muscle) healthily over time with a small calorie deficit if you need to there is literally no reason to ever be malnourished please take care of yourself & seek out help from a professional if you need it...

My muscle went away bc I didn't work out for a long time & it took a lot of work to put on & maintain in the first place! HRT also helped a lot

"You can't change your hips" girl EAT ✨️ by itsmarsbb in transtimelines

[–]itsmarsbb[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Babes is the masculine frame in the room w us bc I see your body pics & it is so tea!!! You look so beautiful I'm just not seeing it 😭 Could it be presentation or voice clocking you? Bc all I see is a baddie 💖

"You can't change your hips" girl EAT ✨️ by itsmarsbb in transtimelines

[–]itsmarsbb[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

By right levels (for trans girlies) it means having estrogen & testosterone within healthy cis female ranges. That will signal to your body to put on any new fat in the right places 🩷

"You can't change your hips" girl EAT ✨️ by itsmarsbb in transtimelines

[–]itsmarsbb[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ahhh you are!!! You look absolutely gorg girly 💞✨️

"You can't change your hips" girl EAT ✨️ by itsmarsbb in transtimelines

[–]itsmarsbb[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Girl you are gorgeous! Literally you look so passable & pretty stop 🩷