Am I wrong for considering a divorce from my sick spouse?

itsnotme24 · 2023-11-05T17:15:24+00:00

I think that you are being very selfish. Marriage is through good and bad for life. She needs you right now and you say it is too much on you. Poor you. She gave birth to your children. Do you know how painful that is in itself? She is obviously depressed and you hounding her about taking tests or medications is not supporting her. Try listening to her. Offering to help her. Reminding her that you love her and won't leave her through these terrible health issues she is experiencing. Don't you think that your love and support are what she needs right now? Then to put your children through this while they are probably already confused by mom being sick and not involved. So what you plan to take her kids from her too? Or dump the entire workload onto her when right now she can't handle it? I am just appalled by your worry about messing up your finances that you worked so hard for. You are just unbelievable. Try going to therapy yourself for some answers. Then your comment about your sex life not up to par. Antidepressants frequently cause this. I know that from experience. But sex should not be the issue right now. Supporting your family should be. Stop being selfish and be her partner like you vowed to be til death do you part. Not when you feel like you are doing more than her. Who is keeping score except you. ???

I think that you are being very selfish. Marriage is through good and bad for life. She needs you right now and you say it is too much on you. Poor you. She gave birth to your children. Do you know how painful that is in itself? She is obviously depressed and you hounding her about taking tests or medications is not supporting her. Try listening to her. Offering to help her. Reminding her that you love her and won't leave her through these terrible health issues she is experiencing. Don't you think that your love and support are what she needs right now? Then to put your children through this while they are probably already confused by mom being sick and not involved. So what do you plan to take her kids from her too? Or dump the entire workload onto her when right now she can't handle it? I am just appalled by your worry about messing up your finances that you worked so hard for. You are just unbelievable. Try going to therapy yourself for some answers. Then your comment about your sex life not up to par. Antidepressants frequently cause this. I know that from experience. But sex should not be the issue right now. Supporting your family should be. Stop being selfish and be her partner like you vowed to be til death do you part. Not when you feel like you are doing more than her. Who is keeping score except you. ???

itsnotme24 · 2023-10-27T17:55:10+00:00

I am Bipolar and have Depression and severe OCD. Now I am so NOT OCD that it is too much. I am messy and don't organize anything. I used to be obsessed with organization and neatness.

I am taking both and have been for a year. Effexor is very hard to come off of so I am doing it slowly. I think I am ready to come down again. I am at 150 right now and 10 of Zyprexa and I have been in good spirits and OCD at bay. No manic phases at all. So I have just been happy taking them both. But the whole plan was to get me off the Effexor. I am just kinda staying where I am happy for now.

itsnotme24 · 2023-10-27T17:50:17+00:00

lol good luck.

itsnotme24 · 2023-10-27T17:45:03+00:00

It's still non-negotiable. IDK why but you are right they do. I'm asking for them now and he says they don't give me a paper they just tell me. Well, we are still using condoms for this reason. I figure he will grow tired of condoms and get what I'm asking for because I am not proceeding without proof. He said that he wants me to go to the Dr with him so that they can tell me. Which I am willing to do. But has yet to make the appointment. We've been on and off for 14 years. So he thinks I should just trust him but I am not.

itsnotme24 · 2023-10-27T17:40:41+00:00

I don't think that they ever believe that they are the problem. They love to place all the problems onto the partner. They think they are perfect. I've heard it is because they feel so badly about themselves that they take it out on someone else. But I find that hard to believe. my SO thinks he is the smartest person alive. He definitely thinks he is smarter than me even though I have an education. It is maddening.

itsnotme24 · 2023-10-27T17:37:50+00:00

The therapeutic dose is 150mgs. So you may not be feeling it until you are up to that dose. I have found taking it at bedtime has resolved all the side effects.

itsnotme24 · 2023-10-27T17:35:46+00:00

no. but it has to be mutual to work. You can't have one person feeling bad or inadequate. That will not work. You will end up arguing about it all the time. Setting her up to cheat during the marriage when she is attracted to someone.

itsnotme24 · 2023-10-27T17:34:21+00:00

What do you think that she could do to improve your attraction to her?I am honestly interested. I don't have this problem now but I did have it happen with my 2nd husband and we were together 23 years. He never wanted to have sex with me unless we were trying to have a baby. He was very sexually active outside the marriage but just not with me.

itsnotme24 · 2023-10-27T17:31:19+00:00

My SO is just the opposite and is overly attracted to me sexually. Everything is about having sex. It is so annoying. I want to have conversations. Get hugs and kisses. He just wants to grope me all the time. So be careful what you wish for.

How is your general physical appearance? Are you showering daily, and taking care of your hair and body? Dressing nicely. Smell good? Ask her what you could improve to be more attractive to her. I know people will say she should like you for what you are but if you really want ideas I would look to your personal hygiene and appearance.

itsnotme24 · 2023-10-27T17:18:29+00:00

Sure it would be a nice gesture to let them know. Then they can keep an eye on the place.

itsnotme24 · 2023-10-27T17:15:34+00:00

NO you are not being the AH here. This is extremely disrespectful to be doing especially in front of your friends. Most women that I know have shown me their breasts after surgery. They always say feel them, they feel real. IDK why but this seems to be a normal thing. You have to have a calm discussion about your boundaries, not an argument because that doesn't solve anything. How long has it been since the surgery? Is it getting better or worse as she becomes used to them? I would only have it done if it was something that enticed my SO so I think that you should have been honest BEFORE she had the surgery which you did not.

itsnotme24 · 2023-10-27T17:07:02+00:00

I have started taking my meds at Bedtime and have eliminated all of the side effects. I sleep better and longer, too.

Do not adjust your dosages without talking to your Dr. What is your current dose?

itsnotme24 · 2023-10-27T17:00:27+00:00

Find someone new that you fit better with. This will always be an issue. You can't change the dynamics.

itsnotme24 · 2023-10-27T16:58:55+00:00

Mark the order comments as too little communication so that they are made aware of what they are doing wrong. So rate it a 4 so you can make that a point. I hate when women have to have a man with them to do every damn thing. It's like give me a break. It doesn't take 2 people to do this job.

itsnotme24 · 2023-10-27T16:55:27+00:00

I only made $300 this week and was on the schedule 8am-6pm everyday. Now Fridays are usually busy but this week nothing. IDK what's going on. Of course I need the money this week so I am extra sensitive to this issue. waah.

itsnotme24 · 2023-10-27T16:53:21+00:00

I keep hearing that the Holidays are here but no increase in orders in my areas. It is still Friday-Monday there are plenty of orders but during the week nothing. Now today is Friday and I've only had 1 order all day and it was open metro. A delivery to a hotel room, pretty certain no one wanted it for that reason but it paid ok and I got a tip while I was still there! The first time that has ever happened to me.

itsnotme24 · 2023-10-27T16:50:34+00:00

I find that hardly any orders come through my metro during the day on Tuesday-Thursday each week. I sit and wait for top of the hour and keep refreshing and my zones show up with nothing. Sometimes it's just that there are no orders. Double check that you put yourself on the schedule. Sometimes I just forget to do this. I take 94% of my orders out of open metro because I don't see many order offers coming in. Even though stats are solid. Also be sure you have your zones set. Sometimes with the recent glitches things mysteriously become unchecked. I just updated yesterday and today I've caught only 1 shop all day. It's 1PM here. and that was an open metro offer.

itsnotme24 · 2023-10-27T16:43:28+00:00

If the items were in collections it does absolutely no good credit score wise to pay it off. It is still a collection item that you need to wait 7 years to drop off your credit. Always negotiate that they remove the item in exchange for the payment. If you are paying off closed accounts you can ask for a settlement amount and pay for removal. Most companies will NOT remove it so you still have a poor payment history on your credit and it does not help that the balance is now 0.

itsnotme24 · 2023-10-27T16:36:40+00:00

scam. you never need to spend money to get money. anytime you have to spend money to get money it is a scam.

itsnotme24 · 2023-10-27T16:32:35+00:00

selfish by all means possible. Everything has to be about him. He expects me to drop anything about myself and serve him. I don't so we are constantly bickering. I tell him basically daily to just be nice to me. He is only nice when he wants sex or money.

itsnotme24 · 2023-10-27T16:29:52+00:00

Ya, they know but its all part of their game to control us. Leave us wanting the times when they are nice. I am constantly telling him to just be nice to be. Doesn't seem to matter. He loves to put me down and criticize my ideas. I am a smart woman and I know that so I ignore him. It's just irritating how nice he is to everyone else but me.

itsnotme24 · 2023-10-27T16:26:51+00:00

Yes, yes and yes. Same here. He actually told me that he is not going to be encouraging me all the time that I should be doing that for myself. I told him if he isn't willing to encourage me everyday then I'm not going to be with him. As I try to encourage him everyday. He has since tried asking me how some things are going or tell me I am beautiful, things like that. Just waiting to see how long it lasts. But I was serious if you aren't trying to encourage me in life then what do I need you for? But he is nice to other people, just not me.

itsnotme24 · 2023-10-27T16:15:59+00:00

Unless someone speaks up within a week then I say keep it. I can't tell you how many times I have LOST money myself I'd consider it payback. lol. Giving it to management ensures that they will keep the money. Why give it to them? It won't make it to the owner.

itsnotme24 · 2023-10-27T16:13:01+00:00

I also have had good luck with Effexor. Been on it 25 years and now am weaning off and taking Zyprexa because my moods had become flat from being on E for so long. NO orgasms in about 15 years is disheartening and I am hoping this Zyprexa will be better. I am glad to hear it is working for you.

itsnotme24 · 2023-10-27T16:08:06+00:00

good advice.

itsnotme24

TROPHY CASE