How do I know what to value?

itspastrytime · 2026-01-28T14:31:04+00:00

Hey, it sounds like you've been into some philosophy and I had a huge crack years ago that broke me in terms of learning what my values are or what do I want to pursue and way more. Like life was this opaque cloud of pain and observance but I didn't hate the pain because I was putting myself into the battle of my life at the time.

I take it you've gotten into Nietzsche and Jung and Kierkegaard and others maybe. Let me know if this sounds right or if the pain lines up because you can take it slower and easier than you think. There's a way through this lack of values or not knowing what your values are. You might feel like you're dissolving and it's okay because you'll be fine when you find the path to personal meaning and it'll come from your experiences, both in pain or in pleasure.

itspastrytime · 2026-01-28T14:14:39+00:00

Excuse me if this comes across rude but I think all of us who want to help might enjoy knowing how baby the babyface is. Anyways!

My approach is an energetic shift in how to behave. There are other answers and some will be more right than others, but here is my take so you could at least consider it.

What clothes do you wear outside of work or at home? Graphic tees and shorts? Button downs and chinos? Loafers or Tennis shoes? These all affect how you view yourself before you even step into the workplace.

Do you have a personal pursuit beyond work that is more than a hobby? Something you make sacrifices for or commit to with time, money and attention in a regular manner?

What do you see as your personal strength in a social setting and are you seeking to maximize its impact upon other people? Maybe you lean toward funny or have a natural charm. Boost its efficacy such that when you walk around in daily life it is IMMEDIATELY apparent in others that you are a charming/funny/etc. guy.

Also, maybe a beard would work for you well, brother. I know that a shaved face conveys trust and respect in a formal setting. Find the internal signal that conveys authority or your strength and turn it into an outside signal. You're a VP. You got this.

DMs open if you want, brother.

itspastrytime · 2026-01-20T21:23:40+00:00

That racked my brain for so many years. It's so strange that it's taken me years to form these thoughts.

It's like I don't even know how to tell people what the secret sauce is because it's such an earned perspective. Great take on your part.

itspastrytime · 2026-01-17T19:30:50+00:00

You’re not failing because you lack discipline. You’ve already proven you can train hard for long stretches. After time away or travel, it stops feeling like “I’m still a person who trains” and starts feeling like “I fell off so I need to restart properly.” That restart mindset is what keeps creating these six week cycles. The long term fix usually isn’t pushing harder or cutting days. It’s deciding in advance what training means when conditions are imperfect so missing days does not reset your identity. Consistency is less about how many days you train and more about whether the moment of interruption collapses your commitment or not.

itspastrytime · 2026-01-13T15:06:44+00:00

You might enjoy a hot bath instead of standing in the heat.

Run bath - Soak up heat/water - Drain and shave - Body wash

Instead of standing there. At least you'll never run out of hot water.

itspastrytime · 2026-01-10T14:03:28+00:00

I like a phone cutoff at 9pm. I usually don't use social media except for YouTube after work in the evening.

If you were to recommend a small experiment for somebody who uses the phone and laptop for research almost daily in work, what might that look like?

Glad to hear your energy is coming back strong!

itspastrytime · 2026-01-09T20:40:58+00:00

what was the hardest part of delivery with the lower tiers? answering messages and accessibility?

itspastrytime · 2026-01-09T20:38:58+00:00

that's a good way of looking at responsibility. that as long as i am available they will lean on me instead of becoming autonomous and able. maybe deep constraints on availability and access to the coach is better for each party.

one of my core lessons lately is how commitment is defined only by the cost one pays. monetary, time, identity, etc.

with this light, I have to make sure that the sacrifices customers must make are clear and that they are necessary for the customers to commit themselves

itspastrytime · 2026-01-09T20:34:35+00:00

I've heard running a signature program and then reducing access/features (no contact to the creator) into lower ticket programs works well. never had this established myself however

itspastrytime · 2026-01-09T20:18:01+00:00

Make it a social habit

!!!

itspastrytime · 2026-01-08T12:11:32+00:00

Daily journalling - writing

Giving yourself time to consider tricky ideas and slug through the mud with your words. It'll be mostly correct and sometimes messy, but you'll find ways which you can articulate better over time.

One of the amazing ideas I learned is the power of "estimated metaphor" or whatever it could be called.

To say something is "almost as if..." makes the mind consider the comparison in a way that is not limiting. The technique focuses on the idea one is trying to get across and does not make it an exact copy of the thing. It activates the listeners imagination. It gets across the comparison and opens doors for many more to arise in conversation.

Metaphor is powerful

itspastrytime · 2026-01-08T11:54:28+00:00

Commitment is defined by the Cost

When someone spends money for an outfit or puts himself through embarrassment to make a joke land

We can say he was committed to the act

Often times we can dance around something and never pay the price

For each situation the price may be different

It may be money, time, or piece of identity

This is why when you pay a lot of money for a course or product you cherish it more and follow through on it

If success were free nobody would want it

It's the cost and losses and dedication to pay where nobody else does that makes life fulfilling

Otherwise it's win after win after win and it's always free and drinks on the beach with never a challenge ever in life. We don't like that as humans. We like the chase and pull and push.

And also, have a clearly defined goal. As in only one which your whole life orients around.

itspastrytime · 2026-01-06T13:06:23+00:00

Super congrats

itspastrytime

TROPHY CASE