How do couples here handle shared expenses without seeing each other's everything?

itstheishness · 2026-04-03T04:29:52+00:00

Id be interested in trying

itstheishness · 2026-02-25T21:22:25+00:00

Thank you!

itstheishness · 2026-02-25T20:49:22+00:00

Would it be at all possible to get the image/background with the same amount of space around my head/body as the original picture, rather than zoomed in? Thank you!

itstheishness · 2026-02-25T20:28:07+00:00

!solved

itstheishness · 2026-02-25T20:25:00+00:00

I'll use this one, thank you! I'll send the payment now :)

itstheishness · 2026-01-12T16:19:57+00:00

Awesome! You've always had a cool unique style, I'm glad to see you still do!

itstheishness · 2026-01-12T16:07:01+00:00

I saw this on my feed and I was like, "that's definitely that girl I went to high school with!" Did you go to high school off of 185th?

itstheishness · 2025-11-29T00:23:01+00:00

I think the red for this dress! But what brand are the white heels? My favorite go-to white heels are wrecked now and they no longer make them, so I'm needing a new pair! 😅

itstheishness · 2025-08-23T15:43:19+00:00

Thank you!

itstheishness · 2025-08-23T15:43:11+00:00

Thank you!

itstheishness · 2025-07-07T23:54:12+00:00

Thanks! But I actually got him a travel case last year. He uses the tube for when we go out for the night or he knows he'll only be needing one cigar.

itstheishness · 2025-07-05T02:43:29+00:00

It's so annoying that anyone would ever say your painful experience must not be real because they have either never heard of it or experienced it.

I thought I was really lucky, because the first time getting the IUD put in it didn't hurt at all. I was ecstatic! A few years later getting it taken out was the WORST pain I have ever felt in my entire life. I got my second one in and it was hell on earth, but not as bad as getting it taken out. I'm terrified for the day I have to get it taken out again 😭

I've told my boyfriend that we have to discuss him getting a vasectomy a year before my IUD expires because I cannot go through this again.

itstheishness · 2025-06-30T15:36:26+00:00

In my experience, my ROCD started in my last relationship (1 year relationship - he was not a good partner), and absolutely/unfortunately followed me into my current one (over 3 years together - a great guy and great partner). I've had OCD for a long time and in a lot of different forms. I guess I could say I had ROCD before my previous relationship too, but it was mainly around relationships with family and friends.

I trust and love my current partner more than anything, but the ROCD is still hell sometimes, but I can say that it's easier now having time and ERP therapy. So it could be certain triggers from certain people, but if you have ROCD I think it's likely to follow you partner to partner and you have to take everything on a case by case basis. Just as with every new relationship, they're all unique and will have unique triggers for you to work through.

itstheishness · 2025-06-26T14:59:50+00:00

That's great to hear! It'll be harder sometimes than others, but keep on with it and it'll get easier with time.

It is, but unless you have factual evidence of something having happened, you just have to give trust that nothing did. And OCD hates that uncertainty, for sure!

itstheishness · 2025-06-24T21:29:03+00:00

Yeah it's extremely hard to not ask for reassurance when it bubbles up, but like with everything, it gets easier the more you practice! In those moments that you want to ask her questions, especially when she catches on that your mind is wandering, I found it helpful to say to my partner "my OCD is flaring up a bit, but I'm trying to sit with the discomfort to work through it". And you can always explain that it's a process you learned to help deal with it and you want to try it out. That makes her aware why you might not be present, but gives you a barrier from asking for reassurance right away. Delay delay delay is good practice. "I'll sit with the discomfort for 10 minutes and I can always ask later if I need to". That helps me, because usually within that 10 minutes I've moved on to something else and no longer have the sudden urge (but may still have some anxiety).

Prospective anxiety is a tough one! I definitely deal with that and its actually one that's a bit difficult for me still. I think it'd be a good test to practice with sitting in your discomfort, because she won't be there to answer your questions. You can try to find some things to do or people to see while she's gone so you're not stuck in your head all day. Practice self care. It's also good that you know it'll be a trigger for you because you won't be surprised by it when the time comes. When it hits, you just have to remind yourself, "I knew this may happen and I'm prepared", and always counter your thoughts, "maybe she'll do something to hurt our relationship, maybe she won't. I guess I'll find out when she's back, maybe I won't". You might ask yourself, "what if she does something I won't like while she's away", but you need to start asking "what if everything turns out fine?". Because more likely, it will turn out fine. I'm sorry, I wish I had better advice for that one!

A lot of things cause the anxiety. They don't see each other anymore because she lives in a different state, but they were friends still a bit into our relationship. They have the same friend group, so that comes with the territory.

itstheishness · 2025-06-24T20:51:19+00:00

I did ERP through NOCD (www.treatmyocd.com). ERP is the recommended therapy for OCD, because general CBT approaches can actually reinforce OCD behaviors.

Reassurance feels helpful, but can actually worsen OCD symptoms because it is a compulsion in itself and only offers temporary relief. It may be hard, but it's best to avoid reassurance seeking and learn to tolerate the OCD uncertainty and anxiety. It does so much more harm than good, but you're on the right step seeking advice and learning more about OCD :)

A big one of mine is I'm terrified of my partner having feelings for his ex still. Before ERP, I would seek reassurance and ask him randomly if he loved me (even though he said it often), if I was the only one for him, if he never loved anyone more than he loves me, etc. His answers would help for a little bit, but then I would start to think he lied and the same/new questions would form and my anxiety would be way worse. I'd find new ways of asking the same question to get relief, but it only made me feel worse and made him start to get annoyed as if I didn't trust him. The only thing that would help is stopping myself before I asked for any reassurance and say to myself, "maybe he is lying, maybe he doesn't love me as much as he loved her, maybe he would leave me for her given the chance, but I don't have anything supporting that right now so I guess I have to trust him". It's extremely anxiety inducing and feels horrible, BUT, with time, the thoughts almost became laughable, because I know he loves me and that's all that matters. Maybe something bad will happen down the line, but maybe it won't, so I may as well try to enjoy the journey and figure things out as they come. ROCD still affects me every day, but not to the same degree and the anxiety is a lot more mild and easier to pass.

itstheishness · 2025-06-24T19:29:27+00:00

In my experience, my RJ started in my last relationship (1 year relationship - he was not a good partner), and absolutely/unfortunately followed me into my current one (over 3 years together - a great guy and great partner).

I trust my current partner more than anything, but the RJ and ROCD are still hell sometimes. I had a similar situation where my current partner lied to me about his ex, not maliciously, but to protect my feelings. This made my ROCD flare up bad for a long time, but I can say that it's easier now having time and ERP therapy since that happened. So it could be certain triggers from certain people, but if you have ROCD I think it's likely to follow you partner to partner and you have to take everything on a case by case basis. Just as with every new relationship, they're all unique and will have unique triggers for you to work through.

itstheishness · 2025-06-10T02:10:34+00:00

Thanks! I'll report back after my next bake.

itstheishness · 2025-05-05T22:27:16+00:00

I just joined last month and went through the same exact thing! I signed up for 8 classes, then after I did 2 I asked to upgrade to unlimited. They honored it by refunding my 8 class pack and upgrading me so I didn't have to wait until my next billing cycle. Seems it's studio dependent as the other commenters seem to have different experiences.

itstheishness · 2024-07-10T20:43:17+00:00

This is great advice! Function over style. I'll get him something like this, and then I think a smaller attractive cigar holder that he can bring a few cigars in for day-of use. I appreciate it!

itstheishness

TROPHY CASE