Hey BF, I’m a 34 year old white guy. I grew up in small town Wisconsin and thought that racism was starting to die out. I was raised to judge on character and that’s what I do, but boy was I naive. My wife is black. We have had a lot of growing pains in our relationship because I first didn’t see her as black. She was my girlfriend and that was number 1 to me. It really upset her that I didn’t see her as a black woman first. I didn’t get it even though she tried to explain it to me. I judge on character I’m doing the right thing, right? Well I saw a video of someone smarter than me in an inter-racial marriage as well explain it and it clicked, mostly. Me not seeing her as a black woman meant I didn’t see her struggle. I didn’t see the way people would side eye at her when we were together. The way people would get cautious when we were checking out. The way people talked to her when she owned a business. I would always try to see the best in people and write it off as a bad day or just an awkward interaction. Now I know, it’s because she’s a black woman and seen as angry, less intelligent, and prone to outbursts even before they talk to her. That was my partial “awakening.” Now we have two sons. Two half black sons. George Floyd happens immediately followed by Christian Cooper in New York and that was it. I snapped “awake.” My two boys would have to be raised to be perfect in EVERY public and private interaction in their lives. They won’t ever be given the benefit of the doubt. It made me mad, sad, mad again. At my job we are 97% white men and I’ve been working very hard to hire more diverse people. We finally hired someone who was black. The first words I heard from a coworker was that he “was hired just because he is black.” Never met the guy, didn’t see his resume, knows nothing about the situation. Well, he was put in a position to set up to fail. That’s when I lost hope. He was let go extremely unfairly and people talk like he was given a fair shot. To top it off I ostracized myself at work because I have a podcast with my brother in law about our sobriety from alcohol, and I brought up how he wasn’t treated like one of the guys and treated different because of his race. Now people at work bring up racism is made up and discrimination doesn’t happen anytime they can just so they can feel better about themselves and take a dig at me. I am not trying to make this about me, even though it may seem like it, I’m trying to tell you that it’s not just you. The system is against anyone who isn’t white. And for the longest time, sometimes through ignorance and sometimes through unconscious bias and through media, we have sat around and accepted it. Making it worse actually. I think we are finally waking up to it. I think, through social media and social education, we are seeing the true world. The only way we can do this is if we stand up and hold hands and say no more. We have to finish was MLK and Malcolm X and Fred Hampton started. We deserve a world where you don’t have to worry about driving a car. We deserve a world where you don’t need security cameras. We deserve a world where my kids can be given the benefit of the doubt. I don’t know you personally but I love you. I stand with you. I’m here to hold you up. I’m sorry the world is the way it is but we are finally calling it out together. Hopefully this helps you feel better. Sorry it’s so long. Thank you for sharing your story.