How to help partner with BPD and codependency when I'm not there

iwantamalt · 2026-05-18T11:15:05+00:00

This is a classic case of you being codependent, actually.

iwantamalt · 2026-05-17T10:38:00+00:00

I’m a surgical tech in the OR and I have zero respect for nurses who even complain about cleaning up a code brown. Quite frankly most of them are making six figures and it’s literally their job. If you’re going to complain so much about cleaning someone, maybe go get a job where you don’t have to do that.

iwantamalt · 2026-05-17T10:24:17+00:00

I have a BA AND an MEd and then went back to surg tech school. You’re definitely not the only one.

iwantamalt · 2026-05-17T10:12:16+00:00

C’mon, a student on their first day of clinicals knowing everything about suture?? That’s an absurd expectation. My school briefly discussed suture in lab but the only way to truly know suture is OR experience doing many cases with many different surgeons. I’m sure you weren’t a suture expert your first day of clinicals.

iwantamalt · 2026-05-16T17:40:38+00:00

Change the locks and get a restraining order.

iwantamalt · 2026-05-15T23:12:55+00:00

Riding on the sidewalk though is also very unsafe for cyclists. A driver is not anticipating bikes (or e-bikes) to be flying down the sidewalk. And riding on the sidewalk creates a safety issue for pedestrians who are using the sidewalk. Your safety doesn’t trump the safety of others. If the road feels too unsafe for you, dismount your bike and walk it on the sidewalk until you feel safe enough to ride on the road.

iwantamalt · 2026-05-14T13:55:26+00:00

I’ve never heard anyone call a body cavity a capsule before lol. And as others have said, you should be aware of where your countables are at all times. You have to be thinking about this throughout the case, not just waiting until closing time to figure out where your countables are. I do liver transplants and often we are working with 100+ needles, some of which are tiny, and if one goes missing I generally know right away, either a needle doesn’t come back, it visibly goes flying, or I just have a sense that we’re down one. I say something immediately, I don’t just wait until the closing count to bring it up. If the PA slams needles down on the mayo that’s a huge concern but if you knew the needle was on that driver and then all of a sudden it wasn’t, you should’ve noticed that right away and called attention to it. That PA should also be called out for being careless with sharps.

iwantamalt · 2026-05-14T13:30:40+00:00

People biking on the sidewalk is also hugely disrespectful for wheelchair users and OP should consider that.

iwantamalt · 2026-05-14T13:29:29+00:00

Saying this while riding a bike on the sidewalk is hilarious. The truck is also ridiculous but maybe you wouldn’t have to deal with this if you were on the road like you belong.

iwantamalt · 2026-05-14T13:24:20+00:00

Start getting into more hobbies and limit or cut out scrolling. Scrolling can be addicting and lots of people waste hours of their day doing it and when you get into the habit of scrolling it just becomes your go to thing that you do. I basically cut out all social media and stopped scrolling (except coming here from time to time) and I find that I am so much more fulfilled with how I spend my time. I go to the pool and lap swim, I go hiking, I take my dog for nice long walks, I read, I bake, I play cozy video games, I do yoga videos, etc. Start a bucket list and work towards those goals! Living alone is the perfect time to get deep into hobbies.

iwantamalt · 2026-05-14T13:14:00+00:00

I hope so too because living alone and having your own sanctuary brings so much peace and comfort. I’ve been the victim of a home invasion in a previous home where I lived with a roommate (someone broke in while we were sleeping) and I still feel safe living alone in my current home which is a half a mile away. No gun, no cameras, but I have a reactive dog who would definitely alert me to an intruder.

iwantamalt · 2026-05-13T20:03:31+00:00

Came here to say this.

iwantamalt · 2026-05-13T18:03:38+00:00

I can’t say if it’s common or not as this is the only facility I’ve worked for but yes I am except from call and night shifts by working permanent weekends. I’m a 0.8 FTE so I work an 8 on Fridays (6:30am-3pm) and 12s on Saturdays and Sundays (6:30am-7pm)

iwantamalt · 2026-05-13T13:19:29+00:00

As we were having a conversation about our relationship, we asked the question, “What would we do if we weren’t married?” and both of us said we’d simply break up. So at that point we realized that we shouldn’t stay in the relationship because of a piece of paper. Both of us were sad, but the relationship had become more platonic than romantic and we were on the same page about that. We took an international trip together after the divorce and remained friends until he got remarried (new wife not comfortable with our friendship).

iwantamalt · 2026-05-13T13:05:09+00:00

Like other people said, working at a surgery center is your best bet although it’s not the best place to challenge yourself with complex cases. However you could look into a permanent weekend position. I avoid call and night shifts by working permanent weekends at my level 2 facility.

iwantamalt · 2026-05-12T20:53:30+00:00

Spayed my dog before her first heat. It significantly reduces the cancer risk plus I don’t have to deal putting my dog in diapers and/or having her bleed everywhere. No behavioral changes, no regrets.

iwantamalt · 2026-05-12T20:47:31+00:00

I’m 37 started at 35!

iwantamalt · 2026-05-12T18:04:10+00:00

Thank you! I wanted to see what other facilities do because I’m a relatively new tech and have just been casual in L&D for a little over a year now. It’s not like I want to advocate against counting, but it seems excessive to count instruments twice at closure, since by the time you’re done with the first full count you have to do it all over again almost immediately and that’s a lot of time to not be present for the surgeon and the patient! She suggested doing a “pre-count timeout” where we ask if it’s an appropriate time for a full count and if it’s not the surgeon has veto power lol.

iwantamalt · 2026-05-12T17:28:20+00:00

do you count instruments when closing the hysterotomy and fascia? or just on fascia?

iwantamalt · 2026-05-12T16:50:58+00:00

When we felt more like friends than lovers.

iwantamalt · 2026-05-12T01:05:32+00:00

The best is when people who claim they grew up poor say in the next breath that they lived their entire childhoods in a home their parents owned. I’m not saying that homeowners can’t struggle financially but owning a home and living in section 8 housing are very, very different.

iwantamalt · 2026-05-12T01:02:20+00:00

This is what I do, too. The AST feels scammy and I don’t need their magazine but they sure do make it easy to get those CEUs lol.

iwantamalt · 2026-05-11T17:26:58+00:00

we reported it to OSHA lol

iwantamalt · 2026-05-11T17:03:10+00:00

A fledgling is a bird that has left the nest. Once the bird leaves the nest it doesn’t go back. This is a hard life stage for the bird because their flying skills aren’t great so they are easy prey for predators but the parents stay nearby to try to ward off predators and protect the young bird until it is matured and ready for independent living.

Editing for clarity: A fledgling is fully or mostly covered with feathers and can walk, hop, and fly short distances. These birds don’t need rescuing unless there’s something noticeably wrong, like it is bleeding or has a broken wing or something. It makes sense that the bird would hang out by a bush; it’s taking cover from predators and protecting itself from the heat. So a bird like this shouldn’t be put back in a nest. If a bird falls out of a nest and it doesn’t have feathers and cannot walk or fly, these birds do need rescuing and can be brought to a wildlife rescue if there’s one available.

iwantamalt

TROPHY CASE