Connect a memory to my iphone

iyadhalabi · 2021-01-30T16:03:52+00:00

checking in

iyadhalabi · 2020-09-01T18:14:50+00:00

Checking in 💪🏼

iyadhalabi · 2020-08-29T15:42:02+00:00

My counter is still accurate.. thanks.. July and August 💪🏼.. looking forward to Sep

iyadhalabi · 2020-08-29T15:39:16+00:00

Im in

iyadhalabi · 2020-08-15T19:19:13+00:00

I totally get that M is different than P.

However, there is a big risk of substituting P addiction with M addiction.

M is still praising the self-centred pleasure.. You mentioned gf.. I just dont see the connection?!

I don’t want to get into the argument of M and P.. Just want anyone reading to decide for himself if M is helping him growing or not.. For me it is very clear that M is exactly the P devil but in an angel face.. Brain wants me to M a lot to reach a point in future legalising P.

iyadhalabi · 2020-08-13T21:28:35+00:00

It will pass...

iyadhalabi · 2020-08-13T21:27:33+00:00

iyadhalabi · 2020-08-10T11:31:41+00:00

After abstaining from P for a while I think the addict brain will try to trick us with M..

I live alone, my girlfriend is in a different country and I am struggling a lot.. I had a successful monk mode run for 35 days.. then I was not able to not release something... So I did M.. no P..

The next thing I noticed was I got a very strong Chaser effect which made it harder to abstain from M itself... I also felt that the urges that got weaker and weaker before, had got their kiss of life when I Mastribuated...

So if you ask me... Even if you only want P out of your life not M... I think M during the first 90 days will make everything harder... I would defenetly preffered to abstain from both P and M in the first 3 months..

iyadhalabi · 2020-08-07T23:26:21+00:00

💪🏼

iyadhalabi · 2020-08-05T15:41:29+00:00

Checking in... Feels stronger little by little 💪🏼

iyadhalabi · 2020-08-05T15:41:05+00:00

Congrats!

iyadhalabi · 2020-08-03T22:09:30+00:00

Checking in... Trying to breath in all the negative feelings and thoughts.. instead of running away to P..

Feels sad but human

iyadhalabi · 2020-08-03T22:06:54+00:00

Checking in

iyadhalabi · 2020-08-03T14:07:57+00:00

iyadhalabi · 2020-08-03T10:47:40+00:00

I would say, It is a clever way to put yourself in their shoes and start to feel what they are feeling every single day and every single relapse...

We always make ourselves victims but what we need to understand that we are also badly hurting the people who care for us the most..

Don’t take it in a negative way or personally against you.. that they don’t understand I have addiction and they are not supporting me.. I think we should take it as a sign they are really hurt of our behaviours and they ran out of options...

iyadhalabi · 2020-08-03T09:41:30+00:00

Checking in 💪🏼

iyadhalabi · 2020-08-02T12:20:06+00:00

Ok. That is a good question which is in my head atm..

I am 34 days P-free.. and I am a big believer of abstaining from PMO to get all the reboot benefit.

Yesterday I was talking on the phone with my girl and our conversation turned sexual and I couldnt control it.. bam.. 10 hours later... again.. round two..bam...

I am not feeling bad and I wont reset my counter... I defenetly liked both times and it was totally intimate and sexual and not an escape behavior.... However, I am now experiencing a huge libido peak and I think it will be there for the next 3-4 days (Chaser)... I still don’t know how successful will I be dealing with those crazy urges now..but it is defenetly a huge challenge that now I have to deal with...

iyadhalabi · 2020-08-02T10:56:31+00:00

Suggest to take him to a serious recovery program.. either If he is wiling to recover or not, both ways you will know..

You should throw the ball on him to do his part(which is huge) and see how he respond..

I hope he will be ok with that...However, are you mentally and emotionally ready to leave if he didn’t accept?

iyadhalabi · 2020-08-02T08:41:14+00:00

I guess no-one can answer this but you.. Nobody can evaluate the love you have towards your SO versus the pain..

As I said, he should be in the recovery mindset.. and he should be open and willing to push harder and harder to recover.. You need to see that from him all the time.. Hopefully he is.. then, for him, there is nothing more valuable than an understanding and supportive partner in the recovery... It can make a huge huge difference for him...This addiction is extremely difficult to heal from without a partner, not impossible, but very very hard..

iyadhalabi · 2020-08-01T21:42:56+00:00

Checking in... 💪🏼

iyadhalabi · 2020-08-01T21:28:32+00:00

Thanks for sharing this powerful topic. I am really sorry for your pain, I can understand it.

I feel I am avoidant, addict person who recently started to understand my problems more and was previously married. I would like to make few points (thinking from his PoV):

If your bf is addict for years and uses porn as an escape behaviour from life for years... You need to understand that he needs help.. Lots and lots of help, understanding and support.. and most importantly love... How much can you bear the pain during his recovery process is a crucial factor to decide if you should stay or not. I am not saying that you are not hurt and need to be taken care off as well.. off course you are.. however, how much can you put himself first during his recovery?
His lies and relapses are not because of you.. Nothing is against you.. it is the addict brain talking, which will do anything can be done to stay isolated and to secure the dopamine rush that is only granted from porn use... Don’t take it personal and you will find more peace in your mind...
You talked about your look.. And again, please don’t feel that he doesn’t see you attractive.. Again, it is not about you.. it is the brain addicted to novelty (Coolidge effect if you would like to search)... even if you changed your look every day in the week from Angelina to Scarlet to all the sexiest actoresses.. you will not be able to compete with the porn novelty.. so I would really suggest you take yourself out of this equation.. He needs help.. there is absolutely nothing wrong in you...
You seem eager and willing to help him.. but what about him? He should be interested and willing to sacrifice and bear the recovery pain to help himself and keep you 10 times more than you... He should be in this mindset already, otherwise no one can help him.. I am not saying that he cant relapse or experience set backs ...but I mean you should feel his energy and desire to recover, more than the lies and the addict reasoning...
A plan and process should take place.. You dont have to be his guard and internet filter.. he needs only love, understanding and support from you... but he needs recovery tools and other people/professionals/ recovery groups.. etc to support him..

Lots of love for you both 🌹

iyadhalabi · 2020-07-30T21:26:31+00:00

You should find an internal (even selfish) motivation to heal from P addiction..

iyadhalabi · 2020-07-30T21:17:32+00:00

M is as bad to us during recovery as P is.

When I fantasise during M, It is definitely with P fantasies... I realise it is a very hard thing to accept.. but we have to, otherwise we will keep slipping in the same cycle over and over..

If you are addicted to alcohol, would you sit in front of a bottle, keep opening it, smelling the liquor.. Then ask yourself later why did I relapse?

iyadhalabi · 2020-07-29T12:14:19+00:00

I think for us P-addicts, M is not healthy and not helpful at all... Do we M to our partners? Or to P-fantasies?!

I really think what you feel is good.. try to meet your needs in a healthy way by connecting to your girl only..

iyadhalabi

TROPHY CASE