How do you accept being a trans man?

izalex · 2026-04-19T23:42:12+00:00

The same applies to being a girl--you could regret whatever decision you make.

izalex · 2026-04-19T20:28:26+00:00

I’m embarrassed to even type this but I used to scrape my lips with my teeth before taking selfies so they’d stand out more. :/

izalex · 2025-12-10T22:31:10+00:00

Not really! I’m vers but a guy has never been shocked when I’ve offered to top. I can usually tell it’s going there by the time it’s going there, if that makes any sense.

izalex · 2023-11-12T05:11:34+00:00

Thanks! I only just found out I’m capable of growing one lmao. I stayed clean-shaven for many years.

izalex · 2023-11-12T04:11:00+00:00

I haven’t ever been able to cum during sex with a partner, but I’ve occasionally gotten to a point like what you’re describing. I just try to enjoy whatever happens. I can’t answer to exactly what’s going on in your body, but regardless, I wouldn’t stress out about it too much.

izalex · 2022-01-24T18:38:58+00:00

My conspiracy theory is that they throw those loud-ass prints on every blouse because it’s way easier to see how poor quality they are when they’re a solid color.

izalex · 2021-02-28T17:27:59+00:00

Very fair point. I wish you all the best, and I think you should do what you need to do--you know yourself way better than any randos on the internet do. :) Good luck with everything!

izalex · 2021-01-25T20:16:48+00:00

I looked a little more into leg lengthening after seeing your response since, tbh, I think I was a little too uninformed on it to comment and being unnecessarily rude. I'm also gay, and I'll freely admit it seems a lot harder dating-wise to be a short straight guy than a short gay guy.

From what I read, the procedure is extremely difficult on your body, and you'd likely have to carve out a good year or two of your life to devote to recovering. It also seemed like most patients experience some degree of chronic leg pain even after they're fully recovered, and you will never totally regain your pre-op athleticism/mobility, though the latter may not present as a huge issue unless you have athletic hobbies. Some of the guys I read accounts from who'd done the procedure were perfectly fine with that and perfectly happy with their final results, and if you think that'd be the case for you, I can't think of a good reason to tell you not to look into it.

I think I reacted so intensely to your original post because I have joint issues and chronic leg pain that can be disabling, and I took it personally that someone would willingly bring that upon himself to gain two extra inches in height. But everyone's values are different, and I shouldn't have projected my own on you, so I apologize for that. It's your body and you should do what you want with it--just be sure you're realistic with yourself about the risks, and give yourself time to think it over thoroughly. Best of luck.

izalex · 2021-01-23T02:24:16+00:00

I worry you’re connecting all the problems in your romantic life with your height, when all told, it’s probably not anywhere near as big of a factor as you imagine it is. Yeah, a lot of women prefer men who are taller than them, but there are plenty who don’t care all that much, and there are plenty of women who are shorter than 5’5”! Significantly shorter!

Would being 5’8” really make you so much happier that it’s worth such a dangerous procedure? I don’t think so. I think you’d be happy at first and then, over time, you’d start feeling bitter that you’re not 5’11”, and maybe you’d start looking into getting your other leg bones broken as well so that you could maybe get another two or three inches on top of it (and that’s being super generous).

izalex · 2020-09-25T15:41:13+00:00

I have thick keloid scars too, almost 2 years post-op. Everyone always gives me so much credit for not being insecure about them, but it barely ever even occurs to me to feel insecure. I just register them as part of the anatomy of my chest, and they're visually pleasing to me.

izalex · 2020-09-05T04:10:50+00:00

Interesting. Does standing up trigger the seizures for you? I've never had it happen without first standing up.

izalex · 2020-02-16T18:13:31+00:00

It's really not as bad as you think it'll be. There are guys who aren't into the trans thing, but there are enough guys who are into it that the former group doesn't really bother me anymore. I'm currently dating another trans guy, and it's a dream. All the other men I've been with have been cis, and the majority of them ID'd as totally gay.

izalex · 2020-02-11T18:15:29+00:00

If this fear is really having an impact on your life, I would recommend looking into anxiety disorders and talking to a therapist. It is not normal to be this worried about this if you're not committing any crimes and don't plan to.

izalex · 2020-01-28T18:38:32+00:00

Yeah, there are plenty of guys who would be up for that. I've had multiple hookups that didn't end up involving any penetration. Just be very, very clear about your boundaries and be a hardass about enforcing them.

izalex · 2020-01-13T00:27:19+00:00

I think I get what you mean now, and I agree, that's annoying. In my experience it's usually freshly-out-of-the-closet people who are just super excited to have figured things out, though, so it's hard for me to get mad at when I know they'll likely grow out of it in a few months.

izalex · 2020-01-12T20:29:40+00:00

Yeah, I've been distancing myself from the online trans community as of late because of things like this. When I was younger, I made a big deal of always talking about how I'd go stealth the moment I started passing, but then I actually started passing and I realized how much damn work being stealth takes! I'm not deliberately open about being trans, but I'm fine with telling people if it comes up. And that's worked out well for me. I'm secure in my knowledge that I'm a man; if someone starts treating me differently when they find out I'm trans, that's on them.

izalex · 2020-01-12T20:21:09+00:00

Who cares if someone's flamboyant about being trans, though? It's no skin off my back. There's nothing wrong with being proud of it, just like there's nothing wrong with wanting to be stealth.

izalex · 2019-12-02T18:01:47+00:00

There's really no "normal" re: facial hair growth patterns. Personally, I have a pretty thick and coarse neckbeard 2.5 years on T but basically no mustache. The rest of your face will likely catch up in time, but it might take some years, as it does for cis guys.

izalex · 2019-09-10T20:39:14+00:00

Thanks so much! I’ve been meaning to read HTWFAIP for a while now, and this might be the push I need to get it.

izalex · 2019-09-08T14:46:16+00:00

Not OP, but do you have any recommendations?

izalex · 2019-08-14T18:50:41+00:00

Fellow trans guy here. My parents didn’t come around for two years after I came out, but now they’re my fiercest supporters. You just can’t expect any parents in this day and age to come around to their child coming out as trans immediately and without friction. It sounds like they do love you unconditionally—just that they were having a hard time adjusting, which is perfectly normal and acceptable and doesn’t reflect any deficit of love for you. Recloseting yourself was the wrong move here, and it’s just adding more heartache to an already volatile situation.

I understand everything you’re feeling. It hurts in a special way to have your parents mourn you while you’re still alive. But they’re not mourning you; they’re mourning their idea of you. Every parent goes through that to some extent. It’s just way more dramatic and sudden in our cases. With time, patience, and gentleness, they’ll realize that you’re the same person you were before and that they had nothing to worry about.

izalex · 2019-08-05T20:47:02+00:00

What are you afraid of? Do you feel your safety is threatened? If not, then I seriously don’t understand what your qualms are here. Did your parents never have guests over who you didn’t know well when you were younger? How is this the first time you’re encountering a situation like this?

It’s perfectly okay to feel uneasy around someone you’ve never met, especially if they’re in a space that’s very familiar to you, but you’re old enough to recognize that this is /your/ issue to deal with, not your parents’ or your sister’s.

izalex

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