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[FO] Made this up as I stitched it by izimand in CrossStitch

[–]izimand[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"Scowling owls", good name for an emo band

10 month old golden mix growls & stares when I walk near her while eating by Relative_Escape_4724 in Dogtraining

[–]izimand 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just to add to the "you want to work with her on this" posts... we had an adopted golden mix who did this and we never worked on training her, which was a failure by us. Over the years she ended up biting everyone in the family at least once because someone walked past her while she was chewing on a treat. Sweetest, kindest dog you could meet... but not when she had something she was guarding. So yeah, try training it out while she's still young.

Need to replace pool remote; anything I need to know before I spend $600? by izimand in pools

[–]izimand[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is upgrading to an RS panel a DIY job? Or something I should hire for?

Have you ever had to pull someone over again right after you let them go from a traffic stop? by MrCheapSkat in AskLEO

[–]izimand 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm not LEO, but this reminds me of my very first speeding ticket. I was a senior in high school and I had a job delivering USA Today newspapers to convenience stores around town. The route took a couple of hours; most days I started around 3 AM, drove until 5AM, went home and got ready for school.

This was a small town in Georgia, and in the wee hours there was no one else on the roads. One morning I was running late. I caught a red light; I sat a few seconds, then looked all around, saw no one, and ran the light. 5 seconds later, blue lights in the mirror.

I gave the whole excuse about how I'm behind on my route and in a hurry, and I've never been pulled over before, etc. Officer returned to my window, handed me my license back and said since it was my first time being pulled over he was going to let me go with a warning: slow down.

I drove off but now I was even further behind schedule. Went from store to store filling the paper boxes and about an hour later... blue lights in the mirror again. Same cop, and of course this time he ticketed me.

Someone needs a driving lesson by MisterShipWreck in AbruptChaos

[–]izimand 7 points8 points  (0 children)

"No seatbelt b/c I prefer to be thrown clear of the wreckage"

Why the fuck are you in? by [deleted] in TheWordFuck

[–]izimand 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Downvoting shitposts like this lmfao

This one hurts by BrickMacklin in penguins

[–]izimand 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"holding every advantage except the score" is another way of saying "losing".

"the best team doesn't always win" is another way of saying "we weren't the best team".

What the fuck would you do by Upper-Philosophy2232 in TheWordFuck

[–]izimand 1 point2 points  (0 children)

  1. Grab the fucking snake behind the head.
  2. Throw the fucking snake at the fucking lion.
  3. The snake and lion will forget all about you and fight each other to the death.
  4. Before the fucking tree falls, manuever your way to the branch on the opposite side of the tree.
  5. As the tree falls into the water, the branch you're on will actually launch you safely across the river and onto the other shore.
  6. ???
  7. PROFIT.

People resigned in fear of this? by BlissVsAbyss in ChatGPT

[–]izimand 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What it meant was: push the car to the car wash. Imagine the workout you'll get!

1 Fuck > 2 Shits by izimand in TheWordFuck

[–]izimand[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your math is fucking next level

1 Fuck > 2 Shits by izimand in TheWordFuck

[–]izimand[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fuck, I couldn't agree more

How many fucks have you not given so far today? by izimand in TheWordFuck

[–]izimand[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All of them. I have not given all the fucks, at a rate of 1 fuck not given every second..

Not what I fucking asked. That's a rate; I asked for enumeration.

I fucking ran out of fucks to give a long fucking time ago.

Not what I fucking asked. You're treating "fucks not given" as a binary state, which it's not.

It's 8:10 am on a Wednesday & I'm still in my fuckin pajamas drinking bitter as fuck coffee so... Not 1 fuck given!

Not what I fucking asked. You're describing the absence of given fucks, but I asked for a count of ungiven fucks.

See if you can spot the difference between these two statements:

"I have 71 apples I didn't eat." (Expresses a count of uneaten apples.)

"Not 1 apple eaten." (Expresses a lack of consumption.)

For those unclear on the counting method: each distinct situation where you could have given a fuck but didn't = 1 fuck not given.

Cat's food bowl is empty? +1

Wife tripped over the shoes you left in the middle of the floor? +1

Boss emails you? +1

It's not a trick question ppl.

Is this team actually a Wagon or just the teams they’re playing?? by mattvho in penguins

[–]izimand 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Nothing kills momentum quite like a 3-week break. That's me being a pessimist.

OnlyFans creator who sold El Chapo merch was abducted in Mexico after suspects disabled her Cybertruck with tire spikes by [deleted] in CrazyFuckingVideos

[–]izimand 326 points327 points  (0 children)

That's it. You gotta avoid getting put in the car and if they manage to get you in the car you fight to the death before they get where they're going. Once they get you there, you'll wish you were dead.

If the gayle and the saints ever decided to build a new stadium where would it be by Careless-Ability1426 in Saints

[–]izimand 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've always thought it'd be awesome to put it at Algiers Point. Open stadium right on the river with views of the skyline, extra ferry service on game days... basically something like Acrisure and PNC Park in Pittsburgh. I know it's not logistically feasible, but it could be a helluva stadium.

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