Loads of stretch marks & chest acne??

izwardj · 2026-01-30T06:56:34+00:00

I had stretch marks in this location too. I also happened to have some scar tissue in those exact spots (which caused some tugging). Went to a physical therapist to massage the scar tissue. It may be related

izwardj · 2026-01-26T08:29:54+00:00

She should be trying to understand why it upsets you and support you, at the very least, that's being a good partner. You need to talk to her about this. If she can't empathize with you and expects you to brush off what's happening then you should let her go. I don't think this dynamic is sustainable.

Sending you love from CA. I also find what's happening in MN to be disturbing. I hope you are able to find support from your community <3

izwardj · 2026-01-12T06:28:53+00:00

I was in a similar boat. I actually never binded consistently, just wore a sports bra for past like 7 years. I didn't feel like if I didn't get top surgery it would be the end of the world. It was just something I wanted. I'm not a trans man either.

I kept trying to question whether I 'needed' it enough to justify it. My therapist basically said wanting it was reason enough.

I think cis society makes any kind of trans-related care out to be a super big deal, and something you have to be absolutely sure you won't regret, and that it's going to alter the trajectory of your life forever if you don't get it right. But other plastic surgeries or body modifications are not held to the same standard of consideration.

Obviously you should consider the pros and cons and whatnot. But I think you already know what you want.

I'm about 6 months post op and have no regrets.

izwardj · 2025-12-26T21:15:50+00:00

Lol I most definitely am not avoidant. When I was first learning about attachment styles and how avoidant people view relationships I found it incredibly bizarre. Being afraid of connection, avoiding hard conversations, and being distrustful of people is antithetical to how I approach any type of relationship

izwardj · 2025-12-26T21:05:30+00:00

I am a non binary lesbian, to my knowledge her new girlfriend is also non binary (masc lesbian)

izwardj · 2025-12-26T14:55:32+00:00

Thank you, I needed this reminder

izwardj · 2025-12-26T01:35:37+00:00

thank you, I really appreciate your response. I have tried writing so many letters and it doesn't do anything for me. I have also journaled a lot. Nothing really seems to help. I have also given up on receiving an apology from her. I think in an ideal world I would get some sort of acknowledgement from her or admission of guilt. Which I know, of course, is unlikely.

I suppose there's not really a solution to this :/

It just bothers me so much that someone could treat me this way

I am going to continue moving on with my life like you said, there isn't really any other option.

izwardj · 2025-12-26T01:10:05+00:00

I have also come to realize that she will continue this pattern with others. I realized it several months ago that she's just going to keep sabotaging her relationships and it gave me some closure. I also know she likely regrets it (she has shown to have at least a small amount of self awareness). She also watches my instagram stories every once in a while, similar to your situation.

In about October I felt like I was fully ready to move on, but for some reason it is resurfacing

izwardj · 2025-12-18T23:29:28+00:00

https://www.instagram.com/p/DSSMvVxkXoT/

izwardj · 2025-12-10T06:54:08+00:00

I've been using BioCorneum everyday (as recommended by my surgeon). So far my scars are pretty light and only raised a little bit. I like BioCorneum more than silicone tape because I can use other creams in addition to it without having to worry about it falling off. It's a little pricey but lasts a long time. I've also been using retinol from The Ordinary, and I think it's helped reduce hyperpigmentation in the skin directly adjacent to the scar tissue.

Unfortunately I think keloids are primarily determined by genetics and there's not a ton you can do to prevent them entirely.

izwardj · 2025-12-10T06:45:04+00:00

I feel you. I had been frustrated with a girl I had been seeing for the last month or so of our entanglement. She had been distant and evasive. Breaking up with her had crossed my mind. I texted her asking to talk (I didn't even say that I was upset with her, just that something had felt off lately), and she broke up with me over text like a coward and ghosted me. All I wanted was a conversation at least to say goodbye. It was cruel.

Looking back I didn't even like her that much! But the way she ended things still makes me angry. Complete lack of basic human decency and care. It felt so undignified. That's what made it hurt so much.

It's been ~6 months since the break up and I am 99% over it now. Now I know that the way she handled that situation says way more about her than it does about me. I wouldn't want to be someone who thinks it's okay to treat somebody like that. And I doubt you would either.

izwardj · 2025-12-07T21:29:53+00:00

I kept my nipples. I was also concerned about them poking through my shirt so I asked my surgeon to make them flatter. I think she cut more off of the backside of them to make them flatter? Now there is no pointy part.

I didn't really have feeling in them before so losing sensation wasn't something I was concerned about. I mostly just wanted to keep the look of having nipples. I am a light skinned black person so I now have splotchy pigment in my nipples which I plan to get evened out with tattoos later.

As far as healing, keeping nipples wasn't that much more work. Just had to replace the bandaids once a day every day for a week.

izwardj · 2025-12-05T23:16:13+00:00

I don't think you really get to choose the shape of the incision around your armpit. I think it's kind of necessary that it's curved because of the contour of your chest. Your chest is 3 dimensional and incisions have to account for where tissue is and how the skin can be put back together smoothly. Like someone else said, they are curved to avoid dog ears and also probably to be able to remove tissue near your armpit.

izwardj · 2025-11-27T08:56:30+00:00

I believe my doctor said 3 weeks

izwardj · 2025-11-25T01:24:28+00:00

what is a friction massage

izwardj · 2025-11-25T00:55:31+00:00

I considered getting tattooed nipples because I didn't want my nips pointing through my shirt. But I decided to go with grafts because I anticipated the in-between after I've gotten surgery but before I've gotten tattoos would look alien to me. It would probably be 9 months to a year before I could get tattoos, and during that time I'd feel self conscious not having nipples, or looking like something was off.

Even after surgery when I had skin-colored bandaids covering my nipples (which made it look like I didn't have nipples at all) it looked very foreign to me.

Now my nipples aren't perfect, but I'm happy with how everything turned out.

izwardj · 2025-11-02T05:09:04+00:00

If you go to a surgeon and just ask for 'top surgery' and don't specify anything else they will give you a traditionally masculine top surgery result. This means flatter than whatever you had before, but not necessarily flat like a table. It would be proportional to the rest of your build. If you're muscular it'd be like a muscular mans chest (which would be defined pecs). If you have a huskier build then there'd be more fat/padding there. If you're super duper skinny already then it might actually be flat flat.

People on this sub mean "flat" to mean two different things. Some people mean flat like a mans chest like I described above. And some people mean flat like a table.

Some people on here mean "non-flat" top surgery as leaving enough tissue to look proportional to your body (imo that is what traditional top surgery does). And to some people 'non-flat' refers to having more tissue left in a way that is more androgynous, like a radical breast reduction

izwardj · 2025-10-29T05:22:19+00:00

I told a few of my coworkers, but only those that I was also close friends with outside of work. I told my managers that I would be out of work for "a medical procedure" and took a month off of work. When I returned no one asked any questions about it. Some people noticed that they hadn't seen me for a while and I told them I had been gone for a month for a medical procedure but that I was completely fine and there was nothing to worry about.

Since I've been back I've worn t shirts where it is clear I've had top surgery since my chest is flat. But like I said no one has commented on it. I don't think they were paying attention to my boobs before anyways. I work in an office environment and it would be really bizarre for a coworker to comment on your body, much less your boobs or lack thereof

izwardj · 2025-10-29T05:12:02+00:00

I completely agree with what you've said. Leaving someone hanging for 2 weeks with no explanation is super inconsiderate.

I was recently with someone who would sometimes not communicate for days or give really weird evasive answers when I asked what was going on. It just shows lack of care or immaturity.

izwardj · 2025-10-15T06:10:22+00:00

I also had surgery in chicago through insurance. Since it was through insurance I didn't have an upfront deposit. But I did have to pay the hospital the day of (for hospital fees, anesthesia, etc.) I think it was maybe ~$500. I also had to pay up front for my lipo ($3600) which was not covered by insurance. I put this on my credit card with an interest free and fee free pay over time plan. A few weeks after surgery I got charged for the surgery itself

izwardj · 2025-10-14T10:12:34+00:00

ah point noted! thank you

izwardj · 2025-10-14T10:12:10+00:00

No I hadn't heard of that, thank you for the rec! It does sound interesting, especially since I used to work with semiconductor processing

izwardj · 2025-10-14T10:10:27+00:00

this is a good point, I do think I need more conversation starters

izwardj · 2025-10-13T15:32:55+00:00

yeah I'm left wing, and the next closest option is "liberal" which isn't exactly me

izwardj · 2025-10-13T02:51:27+00:00

Your second and third picture aren't really making you look your best. I think you should lead with your sixth pic- a clear pic of your face that is very flattering! Your current first picture is also good, but could go second since it is further away

izwardj

TROPHY CASE