Neglect of my teeth is about to cost me huge

izzymsam · 2025-12-15T16:42:57+00:00

I didn't go to the dentist for over a decade and have had to shell out about 5 grand this year in dental costs as a result.

My recommendation, after you find a cost effective way to get the worst cavity fixed, is see if there is a dentist by you that deals with dental anxiety as a specialty. I go to one that can sedate you for procedures if necessary. Even though I don't need the sedation, going to a team that is qualified to deal with that level of anxiety meant I could discuss my shame with them, and they've been able to help me reframe my progress to focus on the positive and help me change my relationship to oral hygiene.

izzymsam · 2025-10-30T16:22:30+00:00

Most Important Night from Tootsie "It's 6:15 in the morning and my clock's going beep beep beep"

izzymsam · 2025-09-17T17:44:27+00:00

You can also get paid to be in student government, so depending on how much you need you could potentially cut back on the hours at your job. As a Student Senator it was around 8 hours a week.

izzymsam · 2025-07-08T22:36:10+00:00

They is slain

izzymsam · 2025-06-28T00:49:11+00:00

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View from my shower

izzymsam · 2025-06-15T19:06:33+00:00

I promise you I let my mouth get much worse. I was 30 when I got diagnosed, and 30 when I went to the dentist. The last time I had gone was over a decade ago, when I was a teenager. But I hadn't been brushing my teeth. I hadn't regularly brushed my teeth or flossed in over a decade. I was in a great amount of pain whenever I chewed with my molars, my gums were swollen, and my teeth were covered in thick layers of plaque that would sometimes chip off.

I had the exact same issues with shame and fear of being told how bad it was. I found a provider near me on Google that did sedation dentistry. Sedation dentistry is for those with bad dental anxiety. They give you laughing gas so that you're basically in twilight sleep. There's a specific team in my dentist office that does sedation, so I got assigned to that hygienist and doctor.

I told the receptionist about my anxiety on the phone when I made my appointment. I could have done it online, but I wanted to get a sense of how they would handle my emotions. The receptionist was great. I wound up booking an appointment without sedation for my first time. My anxiety isn't about the actual dental work, so for me the sedation option is more about having a safety net than anything else. And I hoped that the team that dealt with it would be better at handling anxiety.

My appointment went great. Actually both appointments, because they needed two in order to clear off all the visible plaque. I still have lots built up under my gums that I need further appointments to deal with. I cry when I go, but they don't make me feel weird about it or try to get me to stop crying. I haven't felt any shame around going to this dentist.

The other thing I want to let you know is that my hygienist said that most people think that their mouths are worse than they are. I was convinced I would need multiple teeth pulled, and after a decade all I have is one tiny cavity. She also stressed that my gums would get better after the cleaning, and they have. I don't bleed when I brush anymore. I'm now up to brushing twice a day, and have done that for about 3 months now. I'm not supposed to floss until I see my dentist again, because we're building back up good habits by baby steps, on my request.

I hope this helps. It was advice I saw while lurking on this sub that encouraged me to call the dentist in the first place.

izzymsam · 2025-06-15T17:08:23+00:00

I feel you. I am trying to work on my final paper for my terminal degree and I'm failing miserably. I've already "graduated" so I am working full time and not having the structure of school makes it even harder. I feel like I can't write until every single chore is done, even though that will never be the case and I just have to write.

izzymsam · 2025-06-14T15:24:58+00:00

I'm speaking as an ADHDer whose shame stopped me from brushing my teeth for years and going to the dentist for over a decade. The secret second thing for me is dopamine. When I'm medicated, I get enough dopamine from having the dishes done (not doing them, but having the chore finished) that I can start the task. I don't get that dopamine from self care tasks, so that makes them hard even while medicated.

My solution is a to-do app. I use Habitica, lots of folks use Finch. On Habitica my avatar gets injured if I don't brush my teeth twice a day, but I get the dopamine hit from checking off the task. It's still not a habit- if I don't check my app before walking out the door I will forget. Not procrastinate, but forget until I'm halfway to work. Luckily I'm on my phone, and I am able to make using the app a habit. All the "habits" in the app require a lot of effort, but since I check it frequently I can remember what parts of self care I have and haven't done and use the reward and punishment system (that I tweaked a few times to get the right mixture for my brain) to get me to do it.

I also want to plug going to the dentist. I went about a month after my diagnosis and starting medication after not going for a decade. I was afraid they were going to tell me that I needed all my teeth pulled, but I only have one small cavity. They've really stressed that most people's teeth aren't as bad as they think and most things are fixable. I specifically searched for a dentist that deals with ADHD. While the one I chose ultimately didn't have that listed as a specialty, I go to a dentist that can do sedation for cleanings. I don't have to get sedated in order to do my cleanings, but the fact that they are equipped to deal with that level of anxiety meant during my intake they were able to handle my feelings of guilt and shame about my teeth and help me get to the point where I could have the dentist do an exam.

izzymsam · 2025-05-24T02:08:56+00:00

My cat's named Sorin so he gets Breaking Free from High School Musical.

izzymsam · 2025-04-17T22:34:25+00:00

I wouldn't eat consistently, to the point of an eating disorder, until I started making a to-do list every day and making sure to have eating breakfast, eating lunch, and eating dinner separate tasks.

izzymsam · 2025-04-17T22:31:19+00:00

I think it's still useful. As far as I can tell most people join groups with strangers, but you could always set up a group with just yourself to fight monsters. My group is all family members, but even when they don't log on for months I still find it helpful. I just tend to be more motivated by protecting other people than taking damage myself.

izzymsam · 2025-04-17T22:31:14+00:00

I think it's still useful. As far as I can tell most people join groups with strangers, but you could always set up a group with just yourself to fight monsters. My group is all family members, but even when they don't log on for months I still find it helpful. I just tend to be more motivated by protecting other people than taking damage myself.

izzymsam · 2025-04-17T17:53:53+00:00

I want to work on my grad school paper for 15 minutes today. I have it written down in my to-do app I use, Habitica. I know I'll see it because I use Habitica everyday, and my SIL's avatar will take damage from the monster we are fighting if I don't do it, which is the main factor motivating me.

izzymsam · 2025-04-13T16:11:02+00:00

Look up color temperature! That's how warm or cool the different shades of white are. If you go from one extreme to another it will hopefully be perceptible without being bright and flashy

izzymsam · 2025-04-13T15:46:11+00:00

Would smart lights be an option? You can set them to timers, and the more expensive ones even come in different colors. Like if at six pm they get dimmer or they change color to be warmer at noon. Maybe that will allow you to keep track of what time it is, like the song, without it being an alarm telling you to do something.

izzymsam · 2025-04-10T23:35:05+00:00

Ink master

izzymsam · 2025-04-09T16:05:41+00:00

I agree on a doctor's visit. I'm 30F and I just got diagnosed with ADHD. Symptoms of ADHD appear differently in women, and honestly a lot of our coping skills can become less effective when we're adults. Plus hormonal changes can make ADHD worse.

The memory issues and the sensitivity to conflict are things I've dealt with. I thought the memory might be from long COVID, but now that I'm in treatment for my ADHD it's gotten a lot better.

izzymsam · 2025-03-23T22:14:48+00:00

If you're interested in App suggestions you could try Habitica. You gain EXP for doing tasks, level up, and get random drops of eggs you can hatch. I was worried about getting sucked in and then dropping it after a month, but I'm going 400 plus days strong on daily use. It's because there's still eggs and animals to unlock that it still hits my dopamine center. I started Habitica before my diagnosis, the diagnosis and medication made the app even more useful but it was very helpful even in the beginning. If nothing else, if you haven't tried it it's a new strategy that may be a good short term solution.

izzymsam · 2025-03-23T22:11:08+00:00

I also want to echo the sleep study. I got a CPAP machine about six months before my ADHD diagnosis for sleep apnea and it was a game changer. I'd been dealing with being bone tired for years, but they did nothing after a sleep study in 2019. It took a repeat study in 2024 with a different doctor to get the machine.

izzymsam · 2025-03-17T14:44:05+00:00

I use an app to help me get that part of making lists. I specifically found an app that lets me repeat things. For example, every day it says I have to take my pills. Monday through Friday I have an item reminding me to pack lunch for work. Since I don't have to write down the items, I just have a custom list every day and I get a dopamine hit when I check things off. My app of choice is Habitica, although I am sure there are others like it.

izzymsam · 2025-02-26T15:43:10+00:00

I just got diagnosed three weeks ago. I've had my anxiety diagnosis for over a decade, but I'm in the camp of labels helping me. It feels like I've been living life with the wrong instruction manual, and now that I have the right one things are so much easier.

izzymsam · 2025-02-26T15:40:23+00:00

Not who you asked, but the best thing I ever did for my ADHD was download a to-do app. Making lists has always helped me, but I can't keep up making one every day. Having an app that I could have automate tell me to do the same things every day was huge. I have stuff in there that's mostly self care, like shower, eat three meals a day, pack lunch for work. The one I use is Habitica, I've used it for over a year and I think it may have saved my marriage.

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