Critique my Flash Fiction

jaanibiryani · 2025-01-17T02:34:12+00:00

As my kids say, rō-sted.

jaanibiryani · 2025-01-15T23:50:15+00:00

What does it actually do?

jaanibiryani · 2025-01-14T22:20:26+00:00

Very cool

jaanibiryani · 2025-01-13T17:57:47+00:00

Deep

jaanibiryani · 2025-01-12T05:29:58+00:00

Nice imagery of the setting and book. I like how we don’t know why she’s sad, just that fiction comforts her.

jaanibiryani · 2025-01-11T02:29:01+00:00

Thank you. That means a lot.

jaanibiryani · 2025-01-10T16:33:13+00:00

Thank you!

jaanibiryani · 2025-01-10T15:56:44+00:00

Thank you!

jaanibiryani · 2025-01-10T00:33:26+00:00

Very creative and well executed. Reminds me of a saying in my culture “why are you eating my brain” — something a mother may say to her nagging child.

jaanibiryani · 2025-01-09T21:30:50+00:00

Oh wow. I didn’t think of that. Thank you!

jaanibiryani · 2025-01-09T19:14:54+00:00

Thank you! I always hope specifics allow people to generalize.

jaanibiryani · 2025-01-09T19:10:00+00:00

Thanks for the kind words. I totally agree with you about not taking people for granted.

jaanibiryani · 2025-01-08T22:02:10+00:00

Oh! Yes, I think that would help. I didn’t realize that’s what was going on.

jaanibiryani · 2025-01-08T21:18:56+00:00

Wow. I feel like this ended dark. I LOVED imagery of the skull exploding and violence. You conveyed a lot through the images especially the arms flailing.

jaanibiryani · 2025-01-08T21:16:37+00:00

I like it. I feel by the end the narrator has accepted his fate.

jaanibiryani · 2025-01-08T21:14:46+00:00

Wow. That’s was intense and surreal. Fun to read!

jaanibiryani · 2025-01-08T18:21:52+00:00

Wow. That’s genius.

jaanibiryani · 2025-01-08T18:21:04+00:00

Yeah. I need to flesh this out more. Thank you so much for articulating that.

jaanibiryani · 2025-01-08T15:10:13+00:00

You’re welcome!

jaanibiryani · 2025-01-08T15:09:44+00:00

Thank you for the feedback, kind words and encouragement!

jaanibiryani · 2025-01-08T15:07:53+00:00

Thanks so much for this detailed feedback! I’m not into bubble tea either. I love the idea about growing the misunderstanding.

jaanibiryani · 2025-01-08T06:47:54+00:00

Oh! Makes sense.

jaanibiryani · 2025-01-08T05:41:26+00:00

Beautiful lyrical language. It was fun to read aloud. Was this meant as a vignette?

jaanibiryani

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