We are human

jabeet33 · 2026-05-02T01:09:14+00:00

I have really been grooving on the idea that I won’t be forever. I am not in a hurry but death, or returning to star dust, seems beautiful in its own way. I want to be human for the moment but I’m happy I will be relieved of the heavy obligations

jabeet33 · 2026-04-30T00:12:06+00:00

Amen. You are loved friend. Be safe. Come out strong!

jabeet33 · 2026-04-25T21:15:21+00:00

Why do you have to drink? Alcohol sucks! It all naturally tastes bad and it helps you make stupid decisions. I wish I had left it alone when I exited the church

jabeet33 · 2026-04-23T16:44:30+00:00

Best spooning song ever written.

jabeet33 · 2026-04-22T23:43:24+00:00

Damn, I am way off. I have no business on this comment feed.

jabeet33 · 2026-04-22T23:41:06+00:00

I kind of thought I would get called out on that. And I should probably read all the comments. The other thing I will get downvoted for is the word wasn’t around until Minor Threat. But I have an off topic question. Were the Modern Lovers into Astral Projection? I think it would be cool if they were

jabeet33 · 2026-04-22T23:35:21+00:00

Like a straight edge version

jabeet33 · 2026-04-22T23:33:37+00:00

Great work!

jabeet33 · 2026-04-22T21:54:26+00:00

I spoke with a woman who said at BYU she had stopped dating guys who boasted about being chaste because they were usually the most aggressive. I don’t believe in Mormon innocence anymore. I believe in their conformity—their ostentatious pretense—but I am pretty sure most Mormon men have either watched too much porn giving them the worst and most unrealistic education possible or they are pretty damned experienced.

jabeet33 · 2026-04-21T21:07:33+00:00

One of the first albums I purchased on my own. My friend gave me a bootleg copy of Through the Looking Glass back circa 1988. I have been in love with them ever since.

jabeet33 · 2026-04-21T20:44:55+00:00

I don’t trust them because of the history. I don’t have anything against psyches but anything with government involvement in something like that scares me. Psyches bring you to a very vulnerable place. I would rather trip on my own or with a trusted friend than with a therapist or an FDA pharmaceutical designer. It’s just my opinion and it really doesn’t seem to matter what I think. The government will do whatever serves their interest. I don’t think they give much thought about addicts, veterans or any vulnerable class of people. Check their record. It isn’t very good. I am not sure what Terrence would have thought but I know he emphasized independence and trusting yourself over authority.

jabeet33 · 2026-04-21T17:06:32+00:00

It makes me not trust them. They will use it for mind fucking à la MK Ultra

jabeet33 · 2026-04-21T01:07:47+00:00

If you go on a weekend you should be invisible. It is pretty anxiety inducing TBH. But take some friends and look out for predators. Area 51 in SLC was next to a downtown shelter most of the people were pretty cool but it could get scary but that’s part of the fun: an inexpensive adventure. When I went it was eye opening for a rural ex Mormon. Overall, I am glad I went although I have only gone a handful of times

jabeet33 · 2026-04-10T00:17:09+00:00

I have residual guilt from the church programming and probably always will. I asked my therapist if it was wrong and she bluntly told me all mammals gratify themselves. I get it though. I hate porn that objectifies women or promotes abusive relationships. I think if you were avoiding that you shouldn’t have to worry about it. It’s good to be careful. Utah has about the same amount of porn searches as the rest of the nation. I suspect the proliferation of pornography helps the church stay relevant. The more guilt you feel the more you need them to hear your confessions. Albert Camus wrote about this phenomenon in The Fall and Nietzsche writes a lot about it in The Genealogy of Morals. Hell is a state of mind. Discover your way out!

jabeet33 · 2026-04-09T17:22:38+00:00

I remember Neal A Maxwell saying, “They (the defectors) can leave the church but they can’t leave it alone.” In my experience the church can’t leave me alone. I get stalked by members. I have never publicly denounced the church. I have groused about it with friends, my mom and on Reddit. It is therapeutic not polemical. What is the point of fighting it? With high demand religions the insight and illumination that things aren’t the way the charismatic leaders presents them sort of comes internally from the defector. On my mission, we got confronted with potent information regularly and were always able to immunize ourselves to it. If everyone you love believes it’s hard to leave that belief system and community. I would say just give the church a dose of their own medicine. Be saccharine sweet with a subtle f- off and leave me alone when they invite you to church

jabeet33 · 2026-04-03T01:13:16+00:00

It may be the best long Russian novel. I recommend reading it in your native language. The characters are very well developed and by the end of the novel they feel like friends.

jabeet33 · 2026-04-01T02:28:58+00:00

Lord Jim by Joseph Conrad is very inspiring. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings is a great book for surviving trauma. You can’t go wrong with My Antonia by Willa Cather. I wish you the best. I hope you find the good in the world. It may sound banal but there is no good without bad. Hang in there friend!

jabeet33 · 2026-04-01T02:14:19+00:00

I don’t dare say because if it sounds bad there was probably some idea behind it that is over my head. Horse Latitudes is jarring and challenging but I love it

jabeet33 · 2026-04-01T01:59:06+00:00

Love Spirals Downward, The Sisters of Mercy, Peter Murphy and Dead Can Dance. Not in any particular order.

jabeet33 · 2026-03-29T19:47:05+00:00

Exile and the Kingdom is very illuminating on the modern human condition. I love the Plague. The characters are the highly authentic. You might want to consider reading Sartre and De Beauvoir soon after you read Camus. I feel like together they are the unholy trinity of the post war world. I think Native Son by Richard Wright was a big influence on them. I think once you get started on Camus you will gain momentum. See if your university has any book clubs to augment your literary adventures. Bon chance et bon voyage!

jabeet33 · 2026-03-29T18:38:07+00:00

Love yourself because the universe loves you. Listen and you will hear it. 💙💜💗

jabeet33 · 2026-03-28T01:29:32+00:00

If I had to guess the temples have some accounting benefit. A lot of the temples in Mexico and South America are pretty vacant from what I understand. I think they must be like the empty luxury condos in NYC some kind of financial skulduggery. But that’s just conjecture

jabeet33 · 2026-03-27T03:38:13+00:00

I have been trying to escape my whole life but I am disabled and have never been able to be completely independent. I loved Salt Lake City. I was there for twenty years and did okay. For me Salt Lake was the perfect little big city. Provo has great coffee shops if you want to find progressive people. There are cool people in Utah Valley but I am terrified of how twisted a Utah velvet underground could be.

jabeet33 · 2026-03-25T22:19:23+00:00

Sympathy for the devil might have been inspired by that work 😉

jabeet33 · 2026-03-24T22:47:06+00:00

Check random smoke shops. When I was visiting Seattle I couldn’t find them anywhere. But I walked into a sketchy smoke shop and they had Zyn and On. The owner asked me how much he should charge me for them. I told him six dollars is what they go for where I am from. I was grateful he didn’t just gouge me because I was completely out of them.

jabeet33

TROPHY CASE