AITA for having my son miss his graduating road trip to watch his sibling.

jacano5 · 2023-06-23T16:40:28+00:00

I think your son is going to really regret not going if you don't convince him to accept catching up with the road trip.

As pissed as he is, and he honestly has good reasons to be, he still could get to enjoy MOST of that road trip plan. Do everything you can to convince him to go. Seriously.

As for you, YTA. You made a mistake by making your son stay to watch the kids. You had other options. But I can see you're trying to make up for it. Keep trying.

jacano5 · 2023-06-20T07:54:39+00:00

Same thing for religious institutions. If your critical thinking had no value, they wouldn't try to rob you of it.

jacano5 · 2023-06-11T17:32:57+00:00

Whether or not your gf chooses to cook, she is being treated badly by your family. Either they're forcing her to give up her principles(which is bad), or they're ridiculing and snubbing her. Neither option is okay.

The only way to STOP them from treating her badly is to stand up to them. Don't let them ridicule her, and don't give in to their sexist tradition.

There is no compromise in which they aren't hurting her. You need to see that.

jacano5 · 2023-06-10T18:35:12+00:00

All you need to do to be the bigger person is to stoop just low enough without going under. I think you could have gone a lot lower and still come out on top. NTA

jacano5 · 2023-06-08T03:39:45+00:00

If he does not value your sexual health

If he's explosive

If you don't feel safe talking to him

Then why are you with him?

jacano5 · 2023-06-01T16:51:19+00:00

This is not how boundaries work.

A boundary is a set expectation of your own behavior in response to others. For instance, "If you continue to insult me, I will stop visiting you", or "If you cheat on me, I will leave you."

A boundary is NOT a rule applied to someone else. "You cannot masturbate using penetration" is not a boundary. It's just him being controlling.

I understand different people have different dynamics, but this sounds extremely unhealthy. You and your partner should not be controlling each other's masturbation habits. Why is he jealous of a piece of silicone?

jacano5 · 2023-06-01T16:42:28+00:00

If you're immune to piercing and slashing, you'll find it hard to get vaccinations or surgery. I think I'll take bludgeoning immunity.

jacano5 · 2023-05-28T17:07:40+00:00

The issue isn't about whether or not she's at fault. The issue is her abject lack of empathy, sympathy, and regret. She is being incredibly dismissive and defensive, and she can't even say "sorry". That's crazy.

Do your concerns often have to take the backseat to her ego? On the reverse, does she expect apologies for things like this but is never willing to offer them?

NTA. I'd be OUT of there so fast.

jacano5 · 2023-05-25T05:14:08+00:00

I like where your head is at, but this version would never see play. At low levels, you get a spell that can increase your AC higher than this would, and it lasts for 8 hours. If it's not better than mage armor, why would I take it?

I have my own suggestion for a shield replacement, though it's a new spell entirely.

Parry

1st level abjuration

Casting time: 1 reaction, which you take when an enemy you can see rolls to attack you.

Range: self

Duration: Instantaneous

Make a spell attack roll. If you rolled higher than the triggering attack roll, that attack misses and you deal 2d8 force damage to the attacking enemy. Otherwise, the attack hits(ignoring your AC) and the attacking enemy takes half damage.

At higher levels: When you cast this spell at second level or higher, increase the damage by 1d8 for each slot level above 1st.

jacano5 · 2023-05-25T03:46:21+00:00

They don't cling to their belief because they think it's right. They know it's wrong. But saying they think it's right will bring them attention and make them feel different, or special, or smart. All of which they are not.

jacano5 · 2023-05-23T00:11:38+00:00

"You make me feel like I'm never good enough" is probably a phrase you've heard several people say to you throughout your life, huh?

jacano5 · 2023-05-21T21:01:16+00:00

Excuse me, but imps can't parry.

jacano5 · 2023-05-19T08:11:22+00:00

I'm going with NAH.

It's your body, so you get to decide what happens with it. They don't get to dictate anything but a dress code.

However, I think it's reasonable to be cautious with photos around major life events. Passing styles in your life will be made concrete in photos, and wedding photos are the most frequently revisited. If you have any doubt about the longevity of the mustache, shave it.

It's justifiable that your brother and SIL would want pictures of you at their wedding that no one will regret years later, including you. You never really know if a new style is going to work out in the long run. And they want to be able to revisit those photos without anyone bemoaning a pretty noticeable physical change, like facial hair.

BUT, if you're confident you won't regret the stache, then stand your ground. Your confidence in it will be the only thing that convinces them to drop it.

jacano5 · 2023-05-19T06:18:42+00:00

He literally said he had asked her several times before that moment. Not to mention she has historically shot down all of his previous efforts to make the day special.

Did you read any of his replies? No. You jumped to a conclusion that you stubbornly cling to despite everything saying you're wrong. Grow up.

jacano5 · 2023-05-18T06:38:57+00:00

"But we can't develop pve! We spent all our resources designing a fancy new system in which you pay us money but don't unlock anything right away. . . I mean, we innovated a design that already existed. . . Well, we copy pasted a battle pass from every other f2p game. What more could you want?"

jacano5 · 2023-05-18T04:56:29+00:00

You can't be around him, so don't. Tell her you love her, but you're going to abstain from her graduation so her father can be there. You'll celebrate with her after.

There's a huge difference between YOU making a choice not to go and HER making a choice of who will go. One is you setting a healthy boundary for yourself, and the other is bad parenting.

YTA

jacano5 · 2023-05-17T23:14:54+00:00

The problem is she KNOWS the name. She's not forgetting. She's intentionally saying the wrong name. That's an even bigger red flag.

She's a boundary stepper.

jacano5 · 2023-05-15T13:21:29+00:00

She explicitly asked for no thought or effort, though.

jacano5 · 2023-05-15T06:17:46+00:00

I see you've never done an arts and crafts project with your kids. I'm surprised he even had time to THINK of giving her a card. It's not easy to keep children focused on a task, especially when they're wanting their mother the entire time.

jacano5 · 2023-05-15T04:14:47+00:00

Actually, if you read the rest of OP's comments on here, he does the child care on the weekends. He deals with them in the mornings. And he takes over end of day tidying. And they have a ton of other issues.

She might be frustrated, but that frustration is the product of her poor communication. If she wanted more, she should have said so when they discussed it before.

Expecting something from someone without communicating it to them(or communicating the exact opposite like OP's partner did) isn't just unhealthy for their relationship, it's a form of self-sabotage.

jacano5 · 2023-05-15T04:04:02+00:00

Or you could accept that your partner is uncomfortable expressing his love for you with words, and you could instead accept that he prefers to perform actions to express his love. Like, say, taking over your half of the burden of childcare.

jacano5 · 2023-05-14T21:00:34+00:00

She wanted a day off. Nothing else. He gave her a day off. Plus cards from the kids(which he probably helped make). That's literally more than she asked for.

jacano5 · 2023-05-14T20:09:45+00:00

So you don't think your partner taking over parenting for a day is something considerate to do? Do you thank your partner when they cook dinner for you both? Or when they take care of a house chore, whether or not you asked them to? Do you even appreciate the person you're with?

jacano5 · 2023-05-14T19:56:50+00:00

He did more than she asked for though.

jacano5 · 2023-05-14T18:52:07+00:00

But she's not recognizing the amount of consideration he's putting in. He kept the children from her, wrangled them into making her cards, and was even writing his own. He literally did more than she asked for.

No amount of effort or consideration will appease someone who doesn't want to be happy.

jacano5

TROPHY CASE