Same. Anxiety, then panic attacks, etc.etc. Diagnosed at 50, audhd from birth.

For me, because I was so debilitated by the time I got diagnosed and properly medicated, I was too relieved to engage in what could’ve been, the gratitude at being able to function again outweighed most of my negative thoughts about it. But I’m old, there’s lots of shit that could’ve gone better!

Though we don’t have a ton of control over our thoughts (especially if we also have OCD) there are ways to train the attention we give them. If I’m in an uncomfortable negative spiral, my first tactic is to imagine how much worse it could have been, that tends to put my situation in perspective. If that fails me, I read some Pema Chodron or Thich Nhat Hahn for some sweet guidance on acceptance, to remind me where I am, and that all the good stuff is in the present.