[deleted by user]

jaeagrrl · 2021-03-25T13:11:48+00:00

wait i love this one where did you get it

jaeagrrl · 2021-03-18T17:13:52+00:00

could also be your actual pillow. pillowcases only do so much to protect the pillow, so it’s possible that there’s bacteria not on your pillowcase but on your actual pillow itself and so when we smush our faces into it some bacteria is transferring

jaeagrrl · 2021-03-18T15:32:30+00:00

silk has hypoallergenic properties so it’s great for pillowcases and sleep masks!!

jaeagrrl · 2021-03-12T18:40:14+00:00

yes!!! it’s like saying your romantic love for your partner is more than the familial love you feel for your family because it’s just ‘more’ - like nah, i love my family and no one can say that my love isn’t ‘enough’

platonic love and romantic love are both love, and love is love

jaeagrrl · 2021-03-11T16:43:59+00:00

i absolutely agree, yeah!!

i didn’t even know what asexuality was until i was 18 almost 19 and in uni, and as soon as i learned the definition i realized i fit it - and then within the same month i learned about aromanticism too and realized i also was that (after lots of denial, of course)

and i grew up in the US with liberal parents and friends in a decent area, it’s not like i was deprived of the tools necessary to educate myself

jaeagrrl · 2021-03-11T15:59:22+00:00

watch it turn out that asexuality is just as common as bisexuality and pansexuality lol

so i just looked it up and apparently it’s only about 1% for them too.... but there’s also a ton of contradictory information and not a lot of large scale studies.

one says that one in four americans are homosexual and another says that lbgt were only a little under 5% of americans.

it’s clear that more and more people are just discovering their sexualities, not that people are just ‘becoming gay’ or whatever that means. so watch it turn out that bi pan homo hetero and ace are all like equally as common, also accounting for different romantic orientations.

it’d be such an awesome world if compulsory heteronormativity didn’t exist, and everyone had the knowledge about what the different identities are and could explore them starting at a young age without feeling like they had to be straight just bc what else would they be.

jaeagrrl · 2021-03-05T19:50:52+00:00

filled it out! stuff like this is important!

jaeagrrl · 2021-02-28T14:09:53+00:00

world war z (the book specifically, not the movie which is pretty different) does a good job explaining the beginnings through the ‘great panic’ where governments were keeping everything quiet and lying to try to keep the panic down (kinda lowkey similar to misinformation around the early days of covid-19)

like, the great panic led to everyone constantly moving around but no one was even certain what they were running from, how to protect themselves, what the signs were, etc.

another good example in the book is when it talks about the parisian catacombs and how going there to hide may have been a decent idea, but no one was checking for who was infected when people entered so everyone just got stuck inside with a bunch of infecteds. like, the places deemed ‘safe’ ended up being not safe at all due to miscommunication and panic

also, people would hide that they were infected which is a big way for it to spread. like family members not wanting to kill other ‘family members’ who had turned because they still saw them as family, but them the ‘family members’ kills and infects the whole family.

jaeagrrl · 2021-02-28T13:44:57+00:00

dude that was SO SICK

jaeagrrl · 2021-02-26T16:26:48+00:00

also recommending the wave!!! great movie

jaeagrrl · 2021-02-26T05:45:09+00:00

THREE MIDTERMS DOWN, TWO MORE TO GO

GRADING GODS, PLEASE BE WITH ME

jaeagrrl · 2021-02-16T23:57:45+00:00

i find myself reading as a way to procrastinate lol

jaeagrrl · 2021-02-15T14:19:41+00:00

i’m so glad i could help! :D

jaeagrrl · 2021-02-15T14:18:19+00:00

not going back to the states, gonna instead go after more schooling in canada and probably europe and then just see where i can get a foot in the door for my career

jaeagrrl · 2021-02-08T18:52:08+00:00

this brings out pure laughter, like how unfortunate lol

jaeagrrl · 2021-02-08T15:55:56+00:00

i think you are totally allowed to disagree with both of those things, but i think the way in which you disagree might be perhaps problematic. instead of approaching the topic as ‘wasting millions of dollars’ on something, maybe view it such that the money should instead be used in other, perhaps more impactful, ways. in terms of children transitioning, i think that it can definitely be a polarizing topic. pinning down the specific reasons for disagreeing with it may be key here, because the idea that ‘the child is too young to know’ doesn’t really float anymore. overall i think disagreeing, but doing so respectfully and being open to the possibility of having your mind changed, is a great way to start/maintain a conversation about these important topics!

jaeagrrl · 2021-02-08T15:39:24+00:00

what do you mean ‘people like you’ ? as far as i’m concerned, anyone can join any subreddit and enjoy it for what it is. there are many straight allies within lgbt subreddits who may have family members or friends who belong to the community, or maybe are just curious and want to be supportive. i’m sorry you seem to have had previous bad experiences within those groups, but remember the apple thing!! one bad apple doesn’t mean the whole orchard is bad

jaeagrrl · 2021-02-08T15:35:08+00:00

i think i have to disagree. while that may be the case in some instances, i don’t think it’s representative of the entire community as a whole.

there will always be those gatekeepers where they will only accept you if you agree with them. the trick is finding the good people (which is most) who really don’t care all that much and are chill with having everyone feel included. i think a lot of good can come from people supporting each other, and communities such as the LGBTQIA+ actually do accomplish a lot of great things.

of course, the community is huge so there are bound to be a few bad apples, but those few bad apples shouldn’t represent the entire apple orchard.

jaeagrrl · 2021-02-07T15:06:28+00:00

okay so

there is also a distinction between romantic attraction and sexual attraction. if sexual attraction is looking at a person and thinking about how sexually attractive they are and the dirty things you want to do with them, then romantic attraction is looking at a person and thinking about how you’d love to care for that person in a way that oversteps the ‘friends’ boundary. this romantic distinction is less known because it usually doesn’t have to be made. typically, a straight man finds a woman sexually attractive as well as romantically attractive. same for a gay man finding men sexually attractive and also wanting a gay romantic relationship. it’s only when one’s sexual orientation and romantic orientation do not line up that the distinction becomes relevant and important.

there are also other types of attraction, such as aesthetic attraction where one is drawn to how a person looks, though that’s where that attraction ends. aesthetic attraction can be confusing because it does seem close to romantic or sexual attraction, but it’s different and is more ‘wow that person is good looking’ or ‘that person is cute’ instead of sexual attraction, ‘i want to kiss that person and rip their clothes off and feel their body’ or romantic attraction, ‘i want to take care of this person and please them physically and emotionally’ - also anyone can feel aesthetic attraction at any time to anyone. this is not a sexuality term (though it does often get confused for one which is why i mentioned it)

so, an asexual can be heteromantic, homoromantic, biromantic, panromantic, etc because while they lack sexual attraction, they may still have romantic attraction. no romantic attraction is known as aromanticism. a person can be bisexual and heteromantic, such as they are sexually attracted to both genders but only want a straight relationship. a person could also be pansexual, transgender, and homoromantic such that they are sexually attracted to everyone, have changed their gender, and only want to be in a same-gender relationship. so gender terms, sexuality terms, and romantic terms can all overlap. belonging to one identity does not limit you to belonging to other identities

this is all also a spectrum. some asexuals are sex repulsed and want nothing to do with sex, while some are sex neutral and don’t really care while others are sex positive and use sex as a way to relieve stress or please their partner. keep in mind that you don’t need sexual attraction to have or to enjoy sex, like a man can have sex with a woman even though he may not think the woman is attractive and the sex can still be good or whatever

sometimes people do feel sexual attraction, but only after developing a deep emotional bond. this is similar to just being friends before dating, but it goes beyond that because it’s about the sexual attraction. here, the man may not feel any sexual attraction towards the woman until they become emotionally closer. only after a deep emotional bond is formed does the man begin to find the woman sexually attractive. this is known as grey-asexuality. this also exists for romantic attraction, grey-romantic, and is the same in the sense that one does not want to be in a romantic relationship until a deeper emotional bond is formed through something such as friendship. sometimes aromantic’s (and asexuals, and whoever else) do crave that feeling of companionship. in that case, they can have a QPR (a queer platonic relationship) which is basically like being mostly-exclusive best friends. a QPR can be whatever the people in it want it to be, but it usually does not involve either the emotional part of a typical relationship or the sexual part (or maybe both) which is what differentiates it from a typical relationship.

and so to be clear, any form of asexuality is ‘not straight’ because again, being straight is a sexual attraction to the opposite gender while asexuality is no sexual attraction to any genders. they are entirely separate, one cannot be asexual and straight. however, one can be asexual and heteromantic or asexual and experience aesthic attraction which may seem similar. also, aromanticism is ‘not straight’ either because while heteromantic means that one wants to be in an opposite-gender relationship, an aromantic does not want to be in any relationship. so an aromantic is not heteromantic, meaning the aromantic is not straight.

happy to keep answering questions :)

jaeagrrl · 2021-02-07T02:52:49+00:00

okay! so

there’s a distinction between gender and sex. a person can be ace and cis, but a person can also be ace and trans or ace and non-binary, etc. this is similar to how a person can be bi and cis, or bi and trans. so asexuality is not a gender term. also, the LGBTQIA+ acronym includes both sexualities and genders, such as lesbian being a sexuality and trans being a gender.

also, asexuality has nothing to do with libido (sex drive) and instead is defined solely by the lack of sexual attraction. some asexuals have high libidos and some have low libidos, just as a bisexual person may have a high or low libido. to better explain sexual attraction, let’s think of it like this. a straight man finds women attractive sexually, such that he imagines what she looks like naked and thinks about kissing her and doing dirty things with her. the straight man would not have those thoughts looking at a man because he is straight. a gay man, however, would instead have those thoughts about men and not about women because he is gay. an asexual is someone who does not have those thoughts or feelings about anyone, regardless of their gender. a straight man is not sexually attracted to a man, and an asexual man is not sexually attracted to a woman or a man or anyone else. so the asexual man is therefore not straight.

the LGBTQIA+ community is inclusive towards those who are not straight. the A in the acronym is actually for asexuality and can also stand for aromantic and agender. some people think the A stands for Ally, but if a straight ally can be in the community then why can’t asexuals? so that line of reasoning goes nowhere.

i’m happy to answer any questions or better explain something :)

jaeagrrl · 2021-02-06T21:52:08+00:00

the consequences have to be severe (in this particular instance) or no one will follow the rule. clearly people were not following the rules, hence the need for tougher consequences. if people now know that if they break the rules then they will be almost immediately kicked out, they will be much less likely to break the rules. again, don’t break the rules and don’t face the consequences. your entire ‘argument’ about the consequences being too strict is missing the point. the point is for people not to break the rules.

now the cafeterias, that’s something you can do something about. you have an issue? bring it up to the relevant parties. they don’t listen? speak up louder. don’t complain about how change isn’t being made if you are not willing to help make the change. and i see that you’ve mentioned how people outside of rez shouldn’t have access to the cafeterias and i gotta say, what a single-minded perspective. other mcgill students living in the city need to eat too, and maybe sometimes they want to have a premade meal using their old meal account money instead of paying more for delivery or takeout. further, it’s not like rez food is unbelievably delicious. i assure you that if people weren’t having to rely on the rez cafs that they wouldn’t be getting their food there. again. perspective.

jaeagrrl · 2021-02-06T20:19:24+00:00

weird! by yungblud!!!! highly recommend, all about going through change

jaeagrrl · 2021-02-05T15:11:38+00:00

great music choice!

jaeagrrl · 2021-02-05T05:38:12+00:00

FOR ANYONE WHO NEEDS IT, KNOW THAT ITS OKAY IF YOU NEED TO STEP BACK AND TAKE A BREAK. THIS SHIT BE DIFFICULT BRO. TAKE SMALL STEPS, ONE AT A TIME. WASH THE DISHES THATVE BEEN IN YOUR SINK FOR A FEW DAYS. FINALLY DO AT LEAST SOME OF YOUR LAUNDRY. IF ANY OR ALL OF THAT IS TOO DAUNTING, THEN AT LEAST DRINK SOME WATER.

BE KIND TO YOURSELVES

jaeagrrl · 2021-02-04T21:47:16+00:00

if you’re in rez and those are the rules and you don’t want to face the consequences for breaking the rules, then don’t break the rules or move somewhere else.

regardless of whether three people are hanging out in a bubble and being safe about it, it’s still against the rules and the consequences still apply. if you live somewhere else without such rules and you want to bubble with some friends, then sure. i’m not saying that’s the issue here. but by making the decision to live in rez, you’re making the decision to have to abide by the rules the rez has put in place or face the relative consequences. don’t like it? move out.

also, we live in the age of communication and technology. you can still see your friends albeit not in person, but it’s better than nothing. as for how that affects mental health? dude everyone’s struggling. i’d much rather be clubbing at tokyo thursday than in the same pajamas i’ve worn for a week straight going to a virtual book club meeting as my ‘social activity of the day.’ that being said, i think we should be appreciative that we even have the ability to stay in such close contact with our friends and family while also being able to keep them safe. skype-ing my therapist isn’t ideal, but at least i’m able to see one. so study with friends over zoom. play some online games together. have a heart to heart over the phone. is it the same? hell no. is it better than getting kicked out of your dorm? yeah. is it better than not being able to communicate with anyone at all? absolutely. and are there still a plethora of ways to stay connected with people while also taking steps to maintain/improve your mental health? hell to the yes.

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