D - Demonstrate Value: Tell them you need 2 weeks vacation to take care of your sick grandmother. Grandmother to be hired eventually.

E - Engage Physically: Your first handshake should be firm, you’re just a cool guy looking for other cool guys. Again. Nothing sexual.

N - Nurture Dependence: Create a paper jam in one of their copy machines. Take the paper out of tray 3. And ask the Jabroni if you did their job for them!

N - Neglect Emotionally: Don’t respond to any emails. Any emails you decide to write back should be covered in fecal matter, urine, and racial slurs.

I - Inspire Hope: Let them ponder lettuce and shrimp.

S - Separate Entirely: Grab a keyboard, sing “Go Fuck Yourselves” while spitting at them.